h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Thor]

Did I hear tequila?

*wanders over to Tweetie*

Mind if a God joins you?

[Marvin]

* does nothing *

[Vogon Guard's Aunt]
Were you listening to a word I said? Were you? Were you? I don't know I really don't know I mean young people nowadays and since the war and all when you could leave your door open and sit on a gazelle-like creature without the neighbours looking and now it has all gone to the dogs and the neighbourhood's gone and no-one has any discipline and everything is just a McDonalds on the bypass of life.

[Marvin]

* gets up and walks off, computing the answer to the fourth root of minus one *

(1+i) times root 2?

[Gargravarr]

Actually it is ((1+i)/2)root 2


Before I was made guardian of the Total PerspectiveVortex I was a mathmatician at the University of Maximegalon you know.

*realises she's miles out of character*
[dozer guy]

"uh, 5 inches and half a pound?"

[enlisted Vogon] *sighs and slumps against the wall*
Resistance is futile.
*drinks more beer*

[Trin Tragula]

I bet it is...

[Marvin]

Don't you ever stop drinking?
I've got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left side.

[Sound of Land of Hope & Glory drifting from under the table where Lady Cynthia Fitzmelton is trying to find her handbag]

[Trin Tragula]

Wonder what she's got in there...

*ignores Marvin's troubles, in the true tradition, and goes to find some tea...*

*BTW, anyone who reads the Saving the Galaxy Effort forum will know that Pr. C. Tonks, or rather Trin Tragula in this case, has an affinity for tea...*

Yum...

[enlisted Vogon]

*regards the diodes on Marvin's left side and nods blearily*

yes. Ohm's Law Syndrome. Resistance is futile.

*drinks more beer*

Ouch!!!

[Lady Cynthis Fitzmelton clouts enlisted Vogon with handbag making exactly no impression]

Your extremely splendid & worthwhile grandmother didn't drag you up to upset old ladies like this, get me another gin & tonic immediately.

[enlisted Vogon]
*tromps toward bar, pushing other entities out of his way*
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!!
*picks bartender up by lapels*
You WILL make a gin and tonic for Granny Weatherwax NOW or I will THROW YOU OUT OF THE WASTE HATCH!

*puts bartender down and glowers expectantly*

[Vogon Guard's Aunt]
How dare you speak to a bartender like that!
Don't you know you should threaten "You WILL make a gin and tonic for Granny Weatherwax NOW AND I will THROW YOU OUT OF THE WASTE HATCH!"??? Where are your manners?

[Marvin]

Probably wherever they put his brains after surgically removing them. Or are organic life forms born like that?

[enlisted Vogon]
*considers*
No, that's not what they taught us in Threatening Behaviour School. What you just said is, 'If you make Granny Weatherwax a martini then I will throw you out of the waste hatch.' I actually want this bartender to make a martini.
*ceases consideration*

*picks up bartender by ears*
So WHERE'S THE MARTINI?

[Trin Tragula]

*decides the party's beginning to wear down (cue lots of music, and thousands more guests entering), so makes his farewells, and goes to his RL self, who is presently, get this, making a massive demo level of the real Space Station Big C for Half-Life!*

*A reminder about the h2g2 Realisation Project BTW...*

Toodlepip all!

*teleports out...*
*...leaving his drinks there for others to enjoy...*

[mattress]

I wonder if Marvin would ease his pains if he killed me, put me on a bedstead and lay down on me?