h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Telephone Cleaner]
*traipses past, waving a pair of shoes in one hand, an empty glass in the other*
Hwhat does a girl have to do to get some more champagne here?
'giggle*

Oh, what a cute little mattress!

Hello there telephone cleaner.

*Flollops around the champagne*

Hello there Marvin, are you feeling better?

Zem couldn't make it. And Zem met with an unfortunate accident involving a honeymoon suite.

[Know-Nothing]
* Bites the president because he doesn't follow his own rules *

Bubbly champagne? Yes please!

[Marvin]

"Am I feeling better?" Hmph. "Let's build robots with genuine people personalities" they said. They tried it out on me. I could have done a better job. It makes me so depressed.

[Telephone Cleaner]

*Giggle*

(Gad, she is such a bimbo, this one! -

[Thor]

*looking haggered in his rented tux*

The thunder god demands drinks, food and women now.
Don't make throw this hammer

*retires to the bar with hammer and drinks, and food*

Just one thing missing

[Marvin]

Did you buy that jacket or did it grow in an old cup of coffee?

[Trin Tragula]

*reappears from having a two-day break, and sets to work on the TPV with Gagravarr...*

*changes the track to 'Beatroute' by, guess what, Jools Holland...*

*stares after Thor*
*blinks*
*blinks again*
*passes out- far easier than trying to deal with talking matresses and mythical characters...*

Oh dear...

*helps Tweety up...*

Dealing with mattreses ain't hard...it's just...just...hmmm...

*ponders briefly on where Thor appeared in tHHGttG....*

(MaW: Thor was in Life, The Universe and Everything, chatting up Trillian at the flying party, just after Arthur had his experience with Agrajag and learned to fly (and I didn't even have to look that up. Ain't it sad?) Arthur picked a fight with him and tricked the God into falling over the side.)

[Marvin]

* glares balefully at Zem, then slumps in the corner, motionless *

[Trin Tragula]

That's it! Cheers Marvin...
Your brain came in handy!

[Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged]

Ah, yes, Thor. Immortality was certainly wasted on that dimwitted excuse for a god.

(CrazyOne ponders the wisdom of picking a character who insults everyone. )

[Thor]

Dimwitted, maybe, poor speller, for sure, but a God non the less. And this God needs another drink

[Lady Cynthia Fitzmelton]

Did someone mention liquid refreshment?

[Marvin]

What's the point? We're all going to die anyway. Why prolong it?

[Vogon Guard's Aunt]
Young man you should be ashamed of yourself how dare you even think of talking in that attitude I would like you to know that that is not the way you should behave why in my day young men did not in any way think like that as they had careers and responsibilities to look forward to. Don't slouch stand straight I bet you've not been eating properly and your friends are hardly a help to your career they are all a very bad influence on you and you really should do better in the future you should be thinking of your future as I was saying to Mildred the other day about how my nephew was doing so well in his job with the machismo the girls and the leather until all of a sudden he came up to me, nice boy he is that remembers his poor aunt, and he says "Da da da dum" and you know it's all that Ford Prefect's fault and what can you do these days what can you do I mean you can't now can you?

[Marvin]

* Glares blankly at the Vogon Aunt. He's turned his audio pickups off *

[Lady Cynthia Fitzmelton]

I say Vogon Guards' Aunt, your nephew does sound like an extremely promising and splendidly worthwhile young man. Would he like to join my political party? There's a young whippersnapper I'm sure he would get along with, not much hair and boasts a bit about his drinking capacity but if you ignore the fact that he comes from somewhere up North he's a sparkling example of youth today.........

Lady Cynthia slips quietly under the table.

*wakes up*
*groans*
Need... aspirin...
*pauses*
Or... more... alcohol...
*grabs the bottle of tequila lying beside her*