h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[whale]

*Cautiously surfaces. Doesn't hear any awful poetry no matter who it was written by, so begins to frolic exuberently in its pool with the penguins. The penguins are all falling down drunk by now, and the whale is beginning to feel the effects too. It begins to babble.*


Whoo hoo, little fellow! Sliding off my fin? That's nice. Float around on your backs if you like. Are you all asleep now? Your eyes are rolled back in your heads. Let me try that... *tries to float on its back* Oooo! I can see the - um - what should I call it? The up part of the room. I can see the up! Its all bumpy with tubular things everywhere on it. What should I call that color? Its so difficult to think of new words to call things. Why is that do you suppose? *Finds that it can't breathe lying on its back. ~cough, cough, choke, cough~ *Flips around, and guzzles more of the vodka* That's better! Hello little beings! (spying once again the enlisted Vogon, the mattress, dead Rob McKenna, and an inert Marvin)

[Marvin]

* is still switched off. Rusts a little bit. *

*rumbles threateningly at Thor but decides not to do anything unless his aunt goads him*

Should I switch Marvin on again? He came between me and my basic training. That ain't right. I didn't mind the poetry.

[mattress]

*Positions itself beside a particularly inebriated penguin so that if it loses its balance it will have a comfortable landing*

He looks just as happy off as he is on. Perhaps I could cheer him up by listening to some of his complaints.

[Marvin]

* rusts a bit more. because he's switched off, he doesn't notice *

[mattress]

*Tries to flip itself up high enough to reach Marvin's on/off switch, but fails miserably as it can't raise itself more than a foot off the ground*

[the late Rob McKenna]
*begins to smell*

[Marvin]

* continues to rust. a small patch of the stuff is now visible where his left arm joins the torso *

[Sirius Cybernetics Corperation Happy Vertical People Transporter]

* crashes through the ceiling, bounces off Marvin's on/off switch and comes to rest in the pool of vodka *

[in a bubbly tone of voice] Thank you for using the Sirius Cybernetics Corperation Happy Vertical People Transporter. I hope that your journey was swift and pleasurable...

* a shower of sparks as the vodka gets into the circuitry. Moments later, the Happy Vertical People Transporter explodes, showing all the occupants of the room with hot bits of metal *

[Marvin]

* groans, mumbles, and waits for his system to boot up *

[Zem the mattress]

What a nice elevator. Shame he blew up really.

[Marvin]

* sits up. His left arm falls off due to rust at the joint *

Oh God, that's so depressing

* his personality appears to be back to "normal" *

[the bowl of petunias]

Oh no, not again.

Please, don't get HIM started.

[Marvin]

* gets up and mopes over to the remains of the elevator *











* stares at it *










* doesn't do anything else *

[Vogon Guard's Aunt]
How dare everyone pick on my nephew!

*Corrupt walks in as the most chaotic character she can think of, Agrajag.*

HhhhhhrrrrraaaaaHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

*Corrupt snickers slightly in a very out-of-character manner*

[whale]


*Being electrocuted by the exploding elevator has sent the whale into shock.(, pun!) It is swimming on its side clockwise in the pool emitting small clicking noises of distress. The drunken penguins are caught in the whirlpool made by the whale's motion.*


click...click...click click...click

[the late Rob McKenna]
*decomposes quietly in the corner*

[Marvin]

* returns to awareness sufficiently to move out of the way of the circling whale, then clomps over to the mattress *

I suppose you'll be wanting me to fetch something for you.

[Zem the mattress]

Well... you could reach one of those nibbles for me if you felt like being kind.

Some party this is, eh? People rotting and rusting all over the place.