h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Body Debit Card]

* now totally drunk, starts debiting drinks from peoples' hands and crediting them into the big pool of vodka, hence making it even bigger and threatening to flood the Alabaster House *

[Marvin]

* splashes around in the vodka, not really noticing it's there *

[telephone cleaner]

*Is trying to use leaves to buy her drinks.*

[Body Debit Card]

Look, Telephone Cleaner, leaves just aren't the way to go. Electronic money is the way forward. I mean, look at this...

* the body debit card credits large amounts of cash into the middle of the room *

see? You don't have to carry all that around with you, it's all conviniently stored on your card, and for only three Pu a year annual fee.

[telephone cleaner]

*Starts searching pockets for any pu's. Pulls out another fistful of leaves.*

This is perfectly legitimate tender. We all voted on it.

[Vogon Guard's Aunt]
Anyone mind if I throw the telephone sanitiser out of an airlock?

[Marvin]

That might be marginally less depressing than watching everybody get drunk.

[Babel fish]

*Suggests Marvin closes his eyes*

[Marvin]

I can't. They gave me a personality but didn't see fit to include a perfectly simple set of eyelids.

* sulks *

[Babel Fish]

*Throws towel over Marvins head*



*Gets drunk*

[Marvin]

* does nothing *

[Body Debit Card]

* continues to giggle inanely *

*Edges nervously away.*

[Vogon Guard's Aunt]
*Throws telephone Cleaner out of the nearest airlock*

[Babel Fish]

I say, that wasn't very polite!

[Body Debit Card]

* debits the Telephone Cleaner from outside, then credits the entire account into the pool of vodka. Telephone cleaner and large amounts of alcoholic beverages, as well as a fairly substantial sum in Altarian Dollars, now fill the room *

[Telephone Cleaner]

~gasp - glug ~

*Claws her way out of the vodka pool. She is really upset with the Vogon Guard's Aunt. Jumps on the Aunt from behind and grabs onto her ears, twisting, clawing and punching.*

You can't throw people out of airlocks, you ugly witch!

[enlisted Vogon guard]

*a large hand clamps down on the telephone cleaner's shoulder*
Resistance is futile!

[Babel Fish]

I think people are getting a bit agressive around here for a party!

*Has idea...*


[Cousin of The Ravenous Bug-Blatter Beast of Traal]

*Throws both Vogons out of nearest airlock (but has to push abit to get the Aunt out)*

*Gets bored and goes home...*

[telephone cleaner]

*Being still attached to Vogon Guard's Aunt, goes out the airlock with them.*

Oh no, not again.

[Body Debit Card]

* rescues the telephone cleaner again. Puts the Vogons on the other side of the room in the hope that no more scuffles will result *

[Marvin]

Organic life forms have such pointless ways of passing the time. It's just so depressing.

[enlisted Vogon guard]
Violence breaks out and they always blame us. Nobody seems to notice that I've been thrown across the room and my sainted aunt has been roughed up. Oh no, they see a vogon in the room and say, oh look at the source of the violence. I could just...

oh well, resistance is futile.