h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Flips her dentures in and out of her mouth a few times, hoping it will discourage Pandora from even thinking about practicing on her.*

I just remembered! Hang on.. I'll be back!!!

*Hobbles out of the pub and down the street to the dress shop. Comes back with a lady mannequin wearing a school uniform.*

Best I could do, they didn't have any police uniforms. Meet Blondie, Pandora. She really is dumb as a post. Go for it.

Down Seth! Down boy!

*Slaps Seth over his wrist and empties a bucket of half melted ice cubes over him to cool his ardour*

Pan......I seem to remember that you didn't have any problem flirting with Floh during that gender muddle on Pierce's ship a few year's ago.

Blondie misses a few things.. well, at least make her look like a police .. doll

* gets a stun gun size xxl from her purse and sticks it somewhere in Barbie's school uniform *

thanks, babette, i was just going to do something almost similar

why am I not surprised?

* turns the dial on the stun gun from "lethal" to "shocking" *

hehehe, mr. magoo is in for a big surprise

He won't be if he uses *ahem* 'protection' as it would insulate him against any shocks...

Would anyone like to try some Kvart Poo ale? It's freshly brewed by Mari and yours truly...

any alco<hol in it?

interesting.. what is it?

It is fermented Kvart poop from a far, far away is approximately 90% proof! Please don't let the colours put you off...

and please, no smoking

......if there's no smoking, howmy 'sposed to practice on the dummy?
After all ...it wouldn't be much different than practicing kissing on 'tearful teddy'...my stuffed bear I sold when I was twenty and still miss...

...ohmyhell...I said that out loud~!

Aww scr*w it ...a few more rums and that dummy's gonna' look good

Gwennie...I'd forgotten...again...all about that , er, li'l mix-me-up in the shower with poor Floh. I understand she's done with therapy now.

Ya'all watch yourselves around Gwennie ...she's got a mind like a steal trap...and it's only rusty around the edges~!...*takes out her note pad & tries to find the experation date of the promise not to kick Gwennie on the shin...*
OHGWENNIE?!? ......what IS the experation date? I thought I had it marked...hey...several pages have been taken from my note pad~! You no good lot of theives~! Taking things that don't belong to......nevermind. I tore the pages out myself to start the fire in last year's Pub.

*hides from love and fury*

...*notices Hati trying to hide...hits 13 on speed dial...the alley door pops open and enters Cupid...who hops onto a table near Hati...and takes aim.......*



...the arrow pierces Hati's heart...comes out her back and strikes the dummy...!!!...a goofy look overcomes Hati......a goofy look also come across the face of the dummy...which is now alive~!......
...Hati open's a 'make-up-tool-box'...and begins a make-over the likes of which have never been seen at The Crossed Purposes Pub...

Gaah! Could anyone wake me up, please?!

*continues her... whatever on top speed*

Why Hati~! You look loverly! ...here...have this big, fat herbal cigar whilst you meet Barbi...I think that's the dummy's name.
...*sits watching the two freshly arrow-struck...*

Come on Hati~! Don't jusss sit there~! Dance or sumthin'~!

Pan,

If you ever get in trouble with said lady cop you could always offer my services as a bribe...

AS IF!


Sorry, Linus... I think I've known you too long!