h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Anyone mind if I just sit here and rust for a little?

*sits down together with a that has just come in from the alley, exchangeing thoughts about weather, the posibilities of white christmas south of Frankfurt and the quality of carrots in this years "Nose 2002"-contest for the ice-aged...*

Pan, say, is this an aftereffect of your herbal remady or is that really a heatingblanket you´ve got there?

*eats snowman's nose*

*Contemplates the sad state of English cricket and the 70th anniversary of Bodyline. Also observes the gnashers, which seem to be slowing down.*

I think the clockwork's running down ... should be safe to let 'em out soon.

*Speaking gummily...*

How do you like my jugs? They stop just about where my waist used to be!

Well .... er ..... that wasn't exactly the sort of "Bodyline" I was thinking about.

Hey, Egon... you might like this chaps eyes too... seems they´re made of

*Thinks of putting on Bing Crosby on the jukebox... outside RL does just looks like white christmas we used to know *

:: juggles gwennies shoulder blades ::

there, feel any better?

Pierce , I always thought that shoulder blades were on a woman's back, not above her navel!

H and No2 son are off to Twickers on Saturday to watch England play some team or another

I soooooo want snow! Haven't had a decent snow fall here in years, even frosts are becoming a rarity in Surrey

I wonder what temperature the gummy bits of false teeth melt at? Perhaps we could experiment........

I've always been a sucker for a good back massage, especially between my shoulder blades!

*Holds her wooden back massager that has two balls on the end toward Pierce and WR who are currently propping up the bar and discussing the size of jugs*

It must be tough being a British cricket fan living in Oz, hey Kes?

Mari, how IS your waistline nowadays? Doth the food of agree with you?

Caerwynn you can come and spend Crimbo with me if you like as we had snow here last year... ...You can cook the Christmas dinner whilst here if you like and my family would be eternally grateful and in your debt!

You can even use my oven to test the melting temperature of false teeth if you like...

i can assure you, WR, that gwennies shoulder blades are on her back AND above the navel

so much for biology classes in this place... Something we call a good time?

*from the jukebox*
You load 16 tons, what do you get,
a big pile of snow - and terribly wet.
St. Petersburgh`s quite far away, but I don´t know...
around this place is quite enough snow...

At my age, sadly not my shoulder blades are no longer 'that' far above my navel

*An inkling of a suspicion that Pan has been circulating pictures of Gwennie behind her back (if you'll pardon the pun) starts to arise in her overloaded-with-caffeine brain cell*

Are you insinuating by your music selection of the jukebox that I weigh 16 tons E?

*Throws a virtual snowball at E*

eats the snowman's eyes

*nips out to the Gents, returning with fold-out treatment couch, basket of spanking clean towels and oodles of aromatic oils, wearing white masseur's outfit*

I've been dying to practice my art again - any takers?

*sets up shop in the quiet corner away from the window overlooking the alley*

I would love a good rub. Put me in your appointment book, my good fellow...............well, don't put ME into the book .........put my name in the book.

You have to be so precise around here. Makes a person thirsty just thinking about it.

*Wanders into the kitchen to make soy shakes for those needing HRT.*

:: makes note to self: contact pan asap re pics of gwennies shoulderblades ::

Hypatia! Right after Pan I have Gwennie and then I can take you, unless MR wants to jump in front?

WR ---

*sips soy and flaxseed shake in anticipation of a healthier lifestyle*

*gag, barf, choke*

Gets a and

...*removes all her clothes...leaves them under the electric blanket in the alley so they'll be nice an toasty when she's back from her rub-me-down...*
...*as she settles onto WR's table-o-pleasure...recalls she's been rude to Gwennie...*Gwennie, sorry I didn't answer about the coffee...I NEVER touch the stuff!My body's a temple ya' know. A nicely pickled temple.Wouldn't want to put something in it that might keep me awake or sumthin'.
...*lights aroma therapy candles...tosses her hair outta' the way...* Make certain to rub my shoulder blades EXTRA good!
...*WR steps on Pan's hair pulling her from the table...*
I jusss hate when that happens. So far the dentist has sat on my hair jerking me from the chair-o-pain...and twice my hair's been caught in the 'works' under the backpcracker's table...forcing the poor chap to crawl undernaeth to disengage my hair. TWICE!...now this....*thinks of chopping it all off..*