h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hati! I wish you lived by me!! I have a houseful of lovely plants that I need to find homes for, including a bouganvilla that is in bloom atm...

*bites Thogs on the leg*

*reaches into a pouch & tosses marbles infront of the quickly departing Linus....he looks a bit like a Keestone Cop as he tries in vain to keep is balance...he goes down with a bang...*BANG!!!
*Pandora giggles at the sight of Linus & releases her grip on Thog's leg* *looks up...*Aren't you even going to help an "old tart" up? *mumbles..old my ...tosses her long hair back so her, er, brusied ego won't show...*
*notice Pierce is still asleep under a table...watches...it's okay...
he's still breathing...*

*Decides to assist Pan in her diagnosis of Pierce's condition by pinching his nose until he responds with a sudden snort through his mouth*

Yes! The old is still breathing! Would you like me to make him stop?

I may have given you the impression that I'm well practiced in the art of pinching the noses of sleeping persons and you would be quite correct in your assumption...I frequently use this method as a last resort to stop my hubby from snoring!

*Crunch*
The olives are a bit tough!
*Takes from mouth and inspects*
Oh! It's a marble!

Has anyone heard anything from Kasia lately? I haven't seen her online for quite some time...

*sips *

Alas not...

<BB<

::grimacing in pain, as the bite marks begin to spray blood all over the place, Thog picks Pandora up and heaves her onto the couch::

There, I helped you up, you reborn tart. that stings! Can't you show simple affection like that /after/ you take your dentures out???

::walks over to a dark corner, still spraying blood, and sits down on the floor to have a moment of healing meditation::

Whose marbles were they, Kes???

s* to dark corner before Thog can limp there & places tacs
point up, all over the floor.*
What do you mean DENTURES!!! These twenty theeth are home-grown! *places healing herbs on Thog's leg & a pinch of whompum root under his tongue...*And BTW...thanks for the lift! *gracegully glides back to the bar...steps on Kes' discarded marble...* That hurt like...sees Linus laid out on the floor surrounded by marble...*Hey Linus, lookie there...you've gone and lost all your marbles!
Sorry 'bou that Kes...let's say we have a nice pitcher of martinis
to wash our minds clean. You know, some of the s got together & held a free brain washing clinic. They thought that some of the other s would want to have all memory of the shower Folh & I took together...*glares at Gwennie* But it seems nobody showed up! Ahhhh-hhhha!
So, which of you drank Capy under the table? Or was he once again challenging himself to a drink-a-thon?
Gwennie...I found a note in a bottle...it had the sent of berry wine in it...it read: Help am being tourtured by a large footed beastie...
send duct tape. And it was signed: John, UK. Geez, it's bad enough you won't let the man sleep...must you torment him during his waking moments too? Why I outta' *...sees that the tall dark stranger is still standing alone at the end of the bar...* Wha'? Yeah, sure, I'll have another...what was I saying?

You know me too well Pan...I live to torture men, especially the ones that are stupid enough to marry me!

In the meantime, as John is currently in bed with another Gwennie-induced migraine, virtually torturing an old is the next best thing...

Still, people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones Pan...Just look at poor old Thog over there with his bleeding leg and what was that "stuff" you placed under the poor chap's tongue?

*Picks up something small, hard and stained from the floor by her feet*

Kes, is this one of your teeth?

"Glass houses you say? Perhaps NOW you know why I built my home from logs! And just never you mind about Thog...
I would never put anything in someone's mouth that didn't belong there. *looks over at Thog...* Oooo lookie there...
he's turned an odd shade of grey! RRRR Gwennie...this is YOUR fault! If you hadn't emptied all my things onto the floor...Oh,
why, I outta'...*s to Gwennie....screatches to a hault...checks her note book...sure enough...remember to put a shoe on your foot before you kick Gwennie...the foot you are going to kick her with...pulls Gwennie's left shoe off & slides it onto hr own right foot & hauls off & kicks Gwennie right on the shin...**returns shoe to afore mentioned foot & returns to her chair sipping her martini*

Ouch that hurt Pan!

*Hops about on one leg whilst clutching her injured shin*

Whoops!

*Falls over on the injured, rapidly greying and now heavily squashed Thog*

Ouch that hurt Pan!

*Hops about on one leg whilst clutching her injured shin*

Whoops!

*Falls over on the injured, rapidly greying and now heavily squashed Thog*

Poor old Thog has just been squished twice!

mari-rae, I wish I was there. I've never owned a bougenvillea, they are soooo beautiful.

Well, I've said it before and I'll say it again:

*Mumbles something ... spits out another marble. Reverts to drinking*

Good call -- I think I'll join you before I get anymore gray.

::Joins Kes in the dark corner and swigs . Tries not to think about ::

I have had it! That is enough! A body can't think with all the kicking and biting and gouging and its hard to walk with all the bodies laying all over the place like persian carpets!

*Whacks Pandora with her cane, then whacks Gwennie. Whacks , Thog, and the tall dark handsome stranger too. Is going to whack Kes, but he's too cute. Sultandude isn't around, so he escapes the wrath of a 78 year old . Collapses in her rocker and fans herself with her apron.*

Its a good thing Kasia isn't here to see this. Hhrrrrummpf! Now all of you BEHAVE! Somebody get me a ! And play me some Jimmy Buffett on that jukebox. "Why Don't We Get Drunk and Sc***" is A16, just press the buttons.