h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Kes tucks his hanky under a hymnbook and searches for tissues in his pocket. A sudden cold wind blows them from his hand ...*

*sniffs*
Beautiful, Kes....

*sniffs*
Beautiful, Kes....

*bows head and gives a minutes silence*

This can't be happening...

surely all the angels if they combine thier powers can do SOMETHING?

May we have a few moments silence before we begin the service.

~silence~

*slips in the back door trying to be quiet and sits in the back pew*

{enters in a rush, rumpled, feather boa looking decidedly mangy} What's this I hear? I take off for a short vacation, have a little cyberromance, and wake up to a message that the lad is DEAD? Not being recognized by the local government? He's had that problem before...
{looking round, behind the altar, under the pews} C'mon honey. I know you're here, somewhere. It's your nature. So listen to mama, you don't have to answer if you don't want to. But think about what I'm saying. You've created a beautiful world here. You've given a lot of people a great deal of joy. They BELIEVE in you, and it's hardly fair to turn your back on them and leave them in mourning. Governments don't always reflect the soul of the people, they just control the infrastructure. It doesn't make your function any less valid. Take a holiday, think it over. The world won't be as rich without you. {sniffs and wipes her eyes with her boa} Love ya, honey.

*Enters in tears and wearing a special black school uniform just for MK*

*places some chocolate flowers at the alter, only slightly nibbled as a mark of respect*

*Finds a free pew and sits down for the service*

What's this about the local government not recognizing him? Do you mean the H2G2 government?

Now is not the time or place, for now we are gathered here to remember Matthew.
Please open your hymn books and all stand to sing:
"The Lord's My Shepherd"

I'm sorry.

*Gets up and quietly leaves the service. Stops to smell some wild roses growing just outside the chapel. Inhales the scent of wild roses and reflects on the fact that no one has been able to duplicate that scent with a domestic rose. Just then a strong breeze blows across the land. Looks up to see a bright light on the horizon, and goes in that direction*

*starts to read*
"Blessed are the meek...

*The Vicar emmerges from the Vestry*

*AGB takes her seat*

Dearly belover we are gathered here....

*psst*

GB why are we here again.

*whispers*
MK's funeral...
*the enormity of the occassion hits her and a tear falls down her cheek*
*grabs GB's hand and reflects on how much churches give her the creeps*

Funeral.

*DD rushes of the get the correct service book*

I don't know you go off on holiday and the service of the day gets changed....

*sniffles*
I know that feeling...
*tugs distractedly at the hem of her dress*

*sits quietly in the front pew wishing she wasnt going through this... a tear falls slowly down her face as she looks at the coffin lay in front of her, holding what was (and she wishes still could be) a wonderful man in her life*