h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*from the pew behind, places a hand on FC's shoulder and wishes there was something she could do...*

*just wishes Matt would talk to her*

Dearly beloved we are hear to remember the Lord of the Manor that was *foxy* by name and by nature. Many of wish he were still here so we could talk to him as he left many of us with things that needed to be said....

*removes lace hanky from stocking-top and wipes nose*

*wishes she had remembered hanky*
*materialises industrial-sized box of Kleenex instead*

....many of those gathered have fond personal memories of M.K. and I'm sure you will remember his with fondness. He was a loveable rogue, who seemed to get on well with the servants as well as those of equal rank to himself. But seemed to get on better with the ladies here present as the congregation seems to bear out....

*a big, fat tear falls and plops on AGB's knee*
*squeezes Tweetie's hand tighter*

*Takes a seat at the back*

....as we know he was afianced to a wonderful lady nad sadly this weekend was to be a wedding feast. Our heart goes out especially to her at this time of great loss. We pray she will find happiness again, someday.....

{very unhappy with the situation, but quiet, for now...}

*eyes closed, praying, still crying*

*tearfully lights a candle for MK and remembers better days lurking a few of his antics*

*jumps up & hugs ox, remembering Poco Island*

*Tries to forget Poco Island*

*hugs AGB, shakes hands with Will Jenkins*

*sighs*

*looks round at Will and half-smiles, wiping away a tear*

*Senses that two distinct processes are flowing. One is the formal service, now controlled by the vicar, the other comprises the silent eulogies from the congregation. He notices a Latin motto on one of the tombs in the Chapel - how appropriate:
*"De mortuis nihil nisi bonum; do vivendis nihil nisi verum". He translates in an inauduble whisper.*

"Speak nothing but good of the dead; speak nothing but the truth of the living".

*Kes had his say earlier on. He remains silent.*

The service over, the coffin is lifted by four dark-suited pall-bearers and the mourners follow slowly, heads bowed.
AGB & Tweetie cling to each other, still crying.
The coffin is carried slowly into the grounds on Foxy manor and on to the Mausoleum.