The Cricket Pitch
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
AND IN COMES NEXUSSEVEN... AND WHAT A BEAUTIFUL INSWINGER THAT WAS. DON'T YOU AGREE....
Every Municipal Park has a recreation ground, a nice open green space free of flower beds and fountains, swings and roundabouts. It is where those approaching the realms of geriaticity go to walk their poodles, it is where those inhabiting the twighlight of their childhood go to play football on summer evenings.
With these facts in mind the local authority responsible for the H2G2 Park have decided to create a brand new Cricket Ground. No astro-turf or hessian matting for this community. It is a 100% traditionally prepared pitch, with mowers, rollers and covers tirelessing manipulated by the groundsperson. It has an old style scoreboard where the information is changed by the scorer winding cogs in his little box. It even has a mad fan, who spends his life sitting on the old, green, wooden bench and who is often trying to plant a tree just inside the boundary ropes.
We have now completed construction work on our Pavillion, please come along and make yourself at home. Our A Practice Ground is also open, please come along to have a net session with the team,or just to collect autographs. We hope eventually to have our own radio commentary team and the occasional Elvis-alike or pantomime cow. With the future in mind we are currently holding trials for the Cricket team, and are also looking for people to make the sandwiches for the tea interval. Also, if you think you understand the lbw rule, why don't you volunteer to don the white coat and cap of the umpire, and exercise your index finger.
So welcome to the Cricket Ground, lounge on the grass, enjoy the gentle tap of the cricket ball against the bat, make the team something better than the England one, help us to achieve our aims and enter the new millenium. Oh, and enjoy the Tea.
The Team is beginning to form itself, hopefully, now Rupert is over, and summer is coming the team will revive after its winter slumber by the fire. Come along and join. Current Members are:
Every Municipal Park has a recreation ground, a nice open green space free of flower beds and fountains, swings and roundabouts. It is where those approaching the realms of geriaticity go to walk their poodles, it is where those inhabiting the twighlight of their childhood go to play football on summer evenings.
With these facts in mind the local authority responsible for the H2G2 Park have decided to create a brand new Cricket Ground. No astro-turf or hessian matting for this community. It is a 100% traditionally prepared pitch, with mowers, rollers and covers tirelessing manipulated by the groundsperson. It has an old style scoreboard where the information is changed by the scorer winding cogs in his little box. It even has a mad fan, who spends his life sitting on the old, green, wooden bench and who is often trying to plant a tree just inside the boundary ropes.
We have now completed construction work on our Pavillion, please come along and make yourself at home. Our A Practice Ground is also open, please come along to have a net session with the team,or just to collect autographs. We hope eventually to have our own radio commentary team and the occasional Elvis-alike or pantomime cow. With the future in mind we are currently holding trials for the Cricket team, and are also looking for people to make the sandwiches for the tea interval. Also, if you think you understand the lbw rule, why don't you volunteer to don the white coat and cap of the umpire, and exercise your index finger.
So welcome to the Cricket Ground, lounge on the grass, enjoy the gentle tap of the cricket ball against the bat, make the team something better than the England one, help us to achieve our aims and enter the new millenium. Oh, and enjoy the Tea.
The Team is beginning to form itself, hopefully, now Rupert is over, and summer is coming the team will revive after its winter slumber by the fire. Come along and join. Current Members are:
- Lipsbury Pinfold - Batsman and Sandwich provider
- BluesSlider - Left Arm Spinner and Lower Order Batsman
- NexusSeven(Scout and Muse of Dreams) - Fiery Opening Bowler and Tail End Batsman
- Baldrick - Wicket Keeper, Opening Batsman and Mad Hat Collector
- Global Village Idiot - Archivist, Medium/Slow Bowler and rival to NexusSeven's no.11 spot
- Chicken in Black - 12th Man, Reserve Scorer and Beer Guardian
- The Rev. Cloviscat - Team Vicar, and Gentile Supporter
- Goshoogoshoogosh - Dundee Cake Supplier and Guardian of the Roses (which will soon appear by the Pavillion)
- Swiv - Groundsperson, very occasional Spin Bowler
- Olias - Scorer and occasional Streaker
- Joe aka Arnia - Mad fan
- Demon Drawer - Understands the LBW law and shouts loudly at any possible appeal
- Androyd ACE - Umpire Extraordinaire
- Abi - Tea Lady and maker of incredible sandwiches
- Mickey Thomas' Right Foot - General All-Rounder and Supplier of Equipment
- Anonymouse - Resident Rodent and Cleaner of Crumblies
- Raver - Umpire ignoring excessive Appeals, and provider of strong tea
- Major Hazard - Seam Bowler and Outfielder
- Lochinvar - Confused American Fan
- Granny Weatherwax - Official Kit Mender
