Chicken in black
This is me.
Home: Coleraine, Northern Ireland
Age: 40
Sex: Male
Job: Programmer
Enjoys: Getting wasted.
That's about it really.
In the absence of anything else to say....
Old but good....
Press release.
It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Glasgow edition of Windows 2000 may have accidentally been shipped outside Glasgow.
If you have one of the Glasgow editions you may need some help
understanding the commands. The Glasgow edition may be recognised by
looking at the opening screen.
It reads WINDAES 2000 with a background picture of a can of Tennents Super lager superimposed on a Clydebank flag. It is shipped with a tartan screen saver that fits snuggly over the monitor.
Also note:
The Recycle Bin is labelled "Oot tae f**k"
Dialup Networking is called "Ma Mates"
Control Panel is known as "How Tae F**k Aboot Wi The Settins"
Hard Drive is referred to as "Big Disk"
"A" drive is known as "Hole Fur Them Wee Plastic B*****ds"
Other features:
OK = its aww-right
cancel = f**k off
yes = aye
no = nay f**kin' chance
find = get it yer f**kin' sel'
go to = orr therr
help = ah cannae dae it
stop = gie's f**kin peace
start = f**kin' move
settings = settins
programs = stuff at does stuff
personal folder = ma s**t
Also note that Windaes 2000 does not recognise capital letters or
punctuation marks.
Some programs that are exclusive to WINDAES 2000:
tiperiter = a word processor
cullerin book = a graphics program
addin mershene = calculator
scratch paper = notepad (usually unused)
sounds = CD player
porn = Microsoft Internet Explorer
pikchers = a graphics viewer
dole money = Microsoft accounting software
Sellik = a spreadsheet of Celtic F.C.'s recent scores
bevvy = local off-licences by area code and price of Tennent's Super
tax records = usually an empty file
midden = Recycle Bin
Should it be necessary to re-boot your machine simply head-butt the screen.
We regret any inconvenience it may have cause if you received a copy of the Glasgow edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.
Surely the best virus in existence? :-)
Hi, I'm a virus from County Kerry. Please forward this mail to all
the contacts in your personal address book.
Then delete all the files on your hard disk.
That's great, thanks very much.
Virus
Latest Messages
| Messages left for this Researcher | Posted |
|---|---|
| The Cricket Team | May 1, 2001 |
| Removed | Sep 17, 2000 |
| Hello to the chicken | Jun 28, 2000 |
| Greetings! | Jun 21, 2000 |
Conversations
| Conversation Title | Latest Post | Latest Reply |
|---|---|---|
| British English | Aug 29, 2000 | Mar 13, 2009 |
| Attention all Americans | Jan 8, 2002 | Jul 9, 2003 |
| Nothing added? | Jan 8, 2002 | Jan 8, 2002 |
| Typo | Jan 3, 2002 | No Replies |
| A sign of civilisation | Aug 29, 2000 | Dec 7, 2000 |
Chicken in black
Researcher U139234
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