h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

That was Cool!!! Do it again!

*Special effects die down to reveal a dashing woman in a lab coat*


Read the all new, Amazing Adventures of CHOPPERS
vs.
Crystal Palace, Mother of Invention!



*Looks at the writing and shrugs*

So this is CHOPPERS then?
Hello, I'm Dr. Crystal Palace. And my newest invevtion should be here *checks a wristwatch that looks like 19th century wall clock* in a matter of minutes.

(I'm going to sleep now, so this will have to do as a sort of cliffhanger I suppose... )

So we will have to wait till the next episode. I can't wait. This sounds interesting.

AH! Um,....

*Plays a song on her pennywhistle, hoping that it might cause a reversal of LP's temporal field, thus causing her to move backwards through time to before she dialed the letter I*

Never tested this version of the song before. Hope it works....

Somehow I missed the previous four posts.

But my response would've been roughly the same anyway. Now I just have to worry about what LP'll do when the invention arrives without the Dr. Crystal persona, I guess....

Assuming it works at all....

Well Penny Whistle it does sound interesting. Don't you think?

I just re-read that and I think I see what you mean. I liked LP the way she was unless Doc Crystal Kidnaps me. I'll take me chances.

Yes, it sounds interesting, which is a good sign. Generally the trickier the melody, the higher the probability that I'm doing it correctly.

But still,...


Besides, even if I reverse LP's temporal field and cause her to revert to her normal form, it won't necessarily reverse the temporal field of whatever invention is due to arrive. So we may have just gone from having a supervillain skilled in her latest weapon of destruction to a supervillain who has no clue how to operate her weapon, thus making her more dangerous and chaotic with it.

I actually don't know which I would prefer. And, of course, it all hinges on whether or not my music actually worked at all.

Sorry, I symlposted there.

No worries Missy

(Actually, this whole turning-back-time thing is a bit unfair, don't you think? I mean, either I say it didn't work, which is kinda lame and takes us into the realms of 'bang! I hit you!' 'no you didn't!', or I need to give up a nice fun villain character I thought up... see my problem? Well, the show must go on I suppose)

*Looks at her wrist-clock again, then taps it* Strange, something seems to be wrong with this thing...

*A loud mechanical noise is heard from outside*

Oh, never mind, there it is!

*A large robot breaks through the wall and comes to a stop right before Crystal Palace*

*Proud* Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the Mechanical Person! *Eyes aglitter* Thousands of cogwheels, sprockets, springs, pistons - all combined in a most delicate system, creating a machine that looks and acts as a human being!
I call it... Bob.

Hey Bob you new around here Guy.

Oh Dr. Perhaps you can enlighten us as to your visit. You do have purpose correct.

Of course I do, I'm the villain. Every good plot needs a villain. *Files her nails*

I must say you are a striking looking villian. WOW I say I'm impressed. So what's your game Doctor have you come to take spoil and reek havoc on us or what. I've an appointment with a Lass. She hates it when I am late I'm sure you know the feeling.

Wreak havoc? No, no, of course not! *Looks at the broken wall* Not intentionally anyway...
No, I am a scientist, I have inventions - amazing, fantastic inventions!! I represent progress! You cannot stop progress!






I think a demonstration might be in place...






Bob!

*The Amazing Mechanical Person turns its head with a series of clicks and whirrs*






Make tea, will ya?

*The Amazing Mechanical Person nods and turns away to make tea*

I'll take some coffee if you would Doctor. So How are we progressing me Sweets er I mean Doctor?

I would appreciate some respect, sir!


Hmmm, coffee? That's an interesting challenge... it would of course require re-setting the dials, *mumble* yes, A to C-1, and then rewire F to *mumble* ...I think it can be done.

Why Thank You Mam. There is that better Doctor. You'er cute by the way. Dating much aye?

*makes note on vest of the way the robot is being reprogrammed*
that looks easy. I could do that!
How about a hot cup of cocoa?