Things Someone Should Have Told You

47 Conversations

Over the years, we begin to discover that there are many things in life that people should have warned us about, or let us know, but for one reason or another didn't think anyone but themselves needed the information. Well, there is a bucketload of learned widsom here at H2G2 and we've had enough of all the subversion. This is a joint effort to rectify many misconceptions or ignorances.

The following quotes are things that other Researchers here at H2G2 think you should know.

If there is a disagreement between any H2G2 parties regarding the validity of any given nugget of wisdom on this page, we'll do our best to research any facts thoroughly and try to find the solution. If the difference is simply a matter of opinion, we will do our best to post both opinions. Any pink quote indicates a dissenting viewpoint from the quote above it.

This page is an attempt to consolidate personal wisdom and knowledge, therefore as a general rule direct quotes from outside sources will not be added, but feel free to post them in the discussion threads. And remember, if you like what an individual has to say, go visit their page. They may have more brilliance at their fingertips.

Things people learned that they think you should know

Politics - Government - Military

  • Almost every country in the world thinks they have figured it out. The reason you think that your government is the best is because that's where you're from. It doesn't make you wrong, but it doesn't make a person with a differing viewpoint wrong either, just different. - Krissy Lee

  • The military. It's not just a job it's an adventure. Unless you're one of the one's they choose for the "special" units in which case it's simply about killing people you don't know in strange places and then dealing with it for the rest of your life. - Shadow

  • In the USA they are going to tax fatty foods because heart disease is the number one killer. Soon the government will be telling you what you can and cannot eat. - Krissy Lee

Children - Childcare - Childhood

  • Day care counselors, teachers and other child care professionals are required to care for your children and help to raise them, but are no longer allowed to touch them in any way for fear of pedophile or abuse charges. The people that care for your children are no longer allowed to hug them. - Krissy Lee

  • Homework is the responsibility of the parent, not the educator. - Krissy Lee

  • It never hurt a child to play with a disabled friend, or to learn sign language. - Krissy Lee


  • If you are going to buy a cat, steal one before it is a week or so old, so it doesn't learn how to meow, and annoy you constantly... this can also result in unique, and cuter meows. - Hematite

  • Taking an animal from it's mother before the age of six weeks gives the animal a feeling of abandonment and confusion, just as you would a human baby. If you wish to be a pet owner, you need to research precicely what it is that pet requires and be prepared for any unexpected happenings. If you are looking for specific traits, a good choice is to adopt an older animal that already has it's own, fully developed personality. - Krissy Lee

  • Never give a blow-back to your cat. - Doctor Doughnuts

Health and Welfare

  • Surgery is best left to professionals. - Greasy Pirate

  • Don't sleep with anyone crazier than you are. - Charles

  • You can get pregnant if you are having your period. - Krissy Lee

  • You can't die from boredom, but you might wish you could. - MyRedDice

  • The only real way to lose weight is to eat less and exercise more. Anyone that tells you differently is lying. - Krissy Lee

  • Don't EVER wear two-day-old socks. - Daisy

  • The morning after pill is available by prescription and can be taken up to 72 hours after sex. However, it may make you extremely nauseated and if it doesn't work, you will have to have an abortion because the pill changes the chemistry and genetics of the baby to create a mutated or unviable fetus. Once you take the pill, there is no changing your mind. - Krissy Lee

  • Travelling quickly, On a very fast bicycle, Don't use the front brakes. - Zeitgeist

  • No one can really go without deodorant. - Krissy Lee

  • Don't put icy-hot on your genitals. - Hematite

  • Pants, shirts, and dresses may be worn twice or several times depending on your personal habits. Underwear never, but bathing suit bottoms will do in a pinch. - Krissy Lee

  • Jumping on the bed, Can cause lots of merriment, Falling off does not. - Zeitgeist

  • There is only one way to get HIV and AIDS; through the exchange of body fluids such as blood, semen and HUGE (like 10 litres) amounts of saliva. You do not get infected by hugging, shaking hands or kissing. - Bistroist

  • Mouthwash works. - Krissy Lee

  • Do not attempt to vault over a barb wire fence. Unless you are very confident you will probably rip open your trailing knee. (Note of warning - I was very confident) - Davros

  • And if you are that confident, take any rings off first.
    To avoid the embarassment in shops when change is put in your hand and it falls through to the floor. - Wazungu

  • Preparation H makes pimples and blemishes look smaller for a short time, like if you are going on a date. - Krissy Lee

  • Letting your anger and/or aggression get the better of you doesn't solve the problem. It merely puts it aside for the time being and creates some more for you to deal with. - The Jedi Knight YK

  • Never keep gravy granules in old coffee jars. - Demon Drawer

  • You get a much better night's sleep if you change into your pajamas and brush your teeth first. On a similar note, don't stop searching for the perfect blanket until you can actually note the improvement in the way you slept with a nice, soft warm one. (I suppose the same could be said of boyfriends/girlfriends! ) - Kate

  • Doctors aren't Gods and shouldn't be treated as such. The good ones (and most of them are) wouldn't want you to. It’s you who pays their salary so make sure you get what you need from any consultation. Ask the questions you want to and don't be intimidated. - Wazungu

  • Almost all Victoria's Secret models are dangerously underweight and there are fewer of that type of woman than there are of round women with hips. So, for most of us, the women out there are almost all like you. - Krissy Lee

  • Use your turn signal. Please. - Kate

  • Any food product labeled “Light” may refer to the taste, not to fat content or calories. - Krissy Lee

  • Doner kebabs don't taste the same when sober. - Doctor Doughnuts

Employment and Schooling

  • Intelligence and aptitude and sometimes even experience are still no match for a degree in the job market. It doesn't matter what field the degree is in. You'll be better off if you "get your ticket punched". - CrazyOne

  • Work should be something you do to live rather than living to work. Remember to enjoy yourself now while you can because you never know what is around the corner. When you retire or the job no longer wants you, you might find you are unable to do all the things you could have done if you hadn't been working so damned hard! - Ginger the Feisty

  • The knowledge/brainvolume ratio and the people/officeroom ratio tend to assimilate.

    - smart person in small room: ok

    - smart person in big room: brain explodes

    - dumb person in small room: brain implodes

    - dumb person in big room: ok

    Conclusion: the knowledge pressure inside your brain has to be very accurately balanced with the surrounding room size. That's why the bosses have to have big rooms.- Jeremy FS JBB (Patron Saint of Asymmetric Hydrochronology)

  • Don't sign up for all the societies you feel you want to at freshers crush.fair etc, you'll only really have time for 3 or 4 tops. One sport, one social, one social action is a good mix for that leaving CV. Get involved and serve on committees. - Demon Drawer

  • Try and understand and befriend your work colleagues, as the more you can share and enjoy you worktime experiences honesty the better and more productive is your work. - Demon Drawer

  • Marmite and coffee work well for all nighters. - Demon Drawer

  • If you are American trying Marmite for the first time, approach very very carfully. I got a nasty shock. - Krissy Lee

  • The ability to identify improvements that can be made upon the status quo - and then work to implement them - is probably the most important skill you can have in life, and the most difficult to acquire. Just because good leadership is undervalued doesn't make it unimportant. - Kate

Manners and Social Civility

  • Really important persons do never ever use cellular phones. Really important persons use unimportant persons who have to use cellular phones all the time. - Jeremy FS JBB (Patron Saint of Asymmetric Hydrochronology)

  • It makes people much more comfortable if you leave a toilet bowl plunger next to the toilet. - Krissy Lee

  • Being better educated or having a higher IQ than someone else doesn't make you more authorised to speak your mind. - Kristina Marie

  • When someone makes you a compliment, take it. You probably deserved it, and there is no reason to display false modesty about things you did or accomplished. - Kheldar

  • Never ask an American if they have a spare fag. - Doctor Doughnuts

  • It is never attractive to get into a fight at a bar. - Krissy Lee

  • If you think all gay people look and act a certain way, this is probably because you haven't recognized the gay people around you who look different. Don't make fun of gay people when you don't know the sexual orientation of the person you're speaking to. - Fragilis the Melodical

  • It's never funny to pick on people. No matter how hard a person's exterior may seem, he may lock himself in the bathroom and cry every night. You don't know. - Kristina Marie

  • Being drunk is not an excuse, merely a reason, and not a good one. - Krissy Lee

  • Jalapeno peppers in salads loses you friends. - Doctor Doughnuts

  • A little civility and common sense when dealing with others goes a long way towards forwarding yourself in life. - Krissy Lee

  • Putting yourself in someone else's place is a pretty sure thing for gauging their reactions and feelings. But it's not an infallible strategy, and you shouldn't hold it against people when they don't react the way you would have. Everyone's different. - Kristina Marie

  • Always accept any gum or mint that someone offers you. They may be trying to tell you something without being cruel. - Krissy Lee

  • You may not be the touchy-feely type, but try to keep your annoyance in check. Very rarely will someone pick you up, tickle you, hug you or lean on you out of malice, and you should *never* discourage anyone from wanting to be your friend.
    - Kristina Marie

  • There's no excuse for being unkind to people. - Kate

  • Just because something is true doesn't give you the right to say it out loud. - Kristina Marie

  • It's okay to feel sorry for people, but it's not okay to tell them.- Kristina Marie

  • Give pedestrians a fighting chance...use your bloody indicators. - Doctor Doughnuts

  • Never bring up politics or religion in pleasant company. Or abortion. - Kristina Marie

  • If a person can't disagree without getting derisive or belittling, that person should probably walk away as opposed to resorting to name calling. - Krissy Lee

  • If, in criticism, someone makes a good point against you with a spelling error in it, it's petty to dismiss the person as less intelligent than you. Grey matter is more important than grammar, and no matter how neat your handwriting is, if you're an idiot, people can tell. - Kristina Marie

  • It's not at all polite to correct anyone's grammar or pronunciation in public. - Kristina Marie

Love and Relationships

  • Self confidence is the real thing that makes someone attractive. - Krissy Lee

  • Love yourself, others will follow. - fashion_cat

  • When a woman asks you a question, they already have an answer in mind. - Doctor Doughnuts

  • L'amore fa passare il tempo - il tempo fa passare l'amore. 'Love makes time go by - time makes love go by.' - jfsjbb

  • Everybody's romances and love lives will seem like a fairy tale. Everybody except you. Yours won't. You'll have to work hard for yours. And guess what, it's absolutely worth it. - Calroth

  • Good lovers are not defined by body type, they are defined through their attention and sensitivity to their partner. - Krissy Lee

  • Jocks don't get all the girls the serious ones are concentrating on their training. - Demon Drawer


  • Never openly belittle someone else's religion or faith, no matter how silly you think it is or how much you disagree with its precepts. Their faith will rarely harm you in any way, and it makes
    them happy. Wars have been started by people doing otherwise. - minerva

  • It doesn't do anybody any good if you knock someone else's religion. - Kristina Marie

  • On Truth - If you admit to not knowing it, this does not make you weak. If you think you know it, this does not make you inflexible. If you haven't thought about it, this does not make you lazy. - MyRedDice

  • Never squirm or disagree when someone offers to pray for you. It won't hurt you, and it shows that they care. - minerva

  • I don't meddle with your immortal soul, don't meddle with mine1. - MyRedDice

  • If you don't believe in God, it's helpful to talk to yourself once in a while. You should always have someone to talk to without actually sharing anything, just to get your thoughts together. - Kristina Marie

General Life Lessons

  • Krissy is one hoopy frood2. - Kate

  • You can't ever *really* know what someone else thinks. The only thing certain is uncertainty. - CrazyOne

  • The phrase "there is no scientific evidence to suggest that..." doesn't necessarily mean it isn't so. - Kubulai

  • Steaks always take two minutes less to cook than you think they will. - Doctor Doughnuts

  • Nothing is as useful as knowing how to make and build things. Sewing clothing yourself or building and finishing your own bookshelf is a much cheaper way to look trendy and well-off. - Krissy Lee

  • Many things are possible.- 26199

  • Constantly pointing out your resume, your paper accomplishments, your IQ, something great you did five years ago, and reacting to every bit of information people try to share with you with "I knew that before you did" is probably the most unattractive thing in this universe. Your talents will show through in your actions; bragging and belittling to prove you're smarter or better only makes you sound really, really insecure. - Kate

  • Don't try to run away from your problems. Wherever you go, there you are. - Fragilis the Melodical

  • A watched pot will splatter your nice, clean shirt. - Doctor Doughnuts

  • In the course of your lifetime you should pick at least one unselfish cause to champion. You can assist with time, money, attention, actual political campaigning, or simply by letting others know how you feel. At the end of your life, if you've fought at least one good fight to help others, you'll feel much better about yourself and the world. - Krissy Lee

  • Adults have more fun than children. - raven

  • When toasting bread in a pan, try putting a thin layer of mayonaise on the bread first. It makes the bread brown better and adds a bit of flavor. - Greasy Pirate

  • Bullying is like a cold - there are lots of things which claim to be a cure, but none of them work reliably - and some of them may even make it worse. - MyRedDice

  • Statistics can be misused to prove just about anything. - Wazungu

  • Giving people stickers makes them smile, unless they're having a really bad day or they are a party-pooper. - Princess Bride

  • Never do anything potentially embarrassing with your eyes closed and headphones on whilst staying at your parents' house. - Doctor Doughnuts

  • Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. - Bald Bloke

  • Whatever your place in life - child, student, starving artist, young professional, mother, uncle, movie star, grandparent - don't wait to be finished with what you're doing and assume your life will start after that. You're living right now. Life doesn't have an official beginning aside from birth, so don't put off enjoying it until after the work day is done, after you've graduated, after your wedding day. Try to value it all the time. - Kate

  • You are not alone. - bubster

  • The world would be a much happier place if everyone would stop take a deep breath then smile and think about any one positive thing in their life, (a pet, a friend, a joke, etc.) because regardless of how bad things may look they always can get worse. - courtney

  • It only takes one red sock to turn all your shirts pink. - Doctor Doughnuts

  • Try to know when you've gotten as close to perfection as you can, and then stop. - Joanna (Princess of Darkness, Blower of Bubbles) ACE

  • You can't make an omlette without making a mess that you're not prepared to clean up any time soon. - Doctor Doughnuts

  • All nighters are not the exception but the rule, make the most of your days. - Demon Drawer

  • If you need to ask a hypothetical question, there is some deep seated real dilema you are looking for the answer to. - Demon Drawer

  • A hug a day makes anyone feel better, especially someone who’s having a bad day. - courtney

  • Never trust an automatic door. - Doctor Doughnuts

  • Life is unfair in most circumstances. In the event that you think something is fair, it more than likely will cause something to be unfair to someone else down the line. - Afgncaap5

  • This too, shall pass. - The Researcher Formerly Known As "Jeff"

  • Just listen. To a friend, to a loved one. Sometimes, perhaps more often than you think, you don't have to say anything back. You don't have to try to solve their problems or even suggest anything, as in many cases this is not even desired and in fact may have a negative effect. Always keep your ears open, but sometimes it's best to keep your mouth closed. - CrazyOne

  • Not all annoying people stop when they find it has no effect. - The Jedi Knight YK

  • Set yourself goals. They can be as small as you want, but at least you can show you have achieved something. - Munchkin

  • If life were completely, constantly fair, there would be nothing left to laugh at. - Afgncaap5

  • There is a first time for many things. - 26199

  • Aim higher than you think you'll reach. If you reach your goal you're magnificant, if you fall short you have still achieved a great deal, but at least aim for something and set about to reach it. - Demon Drawer

  • As the thing you're waiting for may not be there when you get there... enjoy everyday in between and when you finally get to that day, and the whatever you've been waiting for is there, not only can you be happy about that, but you can also have things to talk about as you've kept yourself busy. - Ant

  • You should never trust anyone who uses quotes. From the quotes on the back of a book, to the quotes in newspapers, to the quotes of debaters, to the quotes of holy books and proverbs. You can prove anything if you find the right authority to appeal to. - MyRedDice

  • Belief in something can make it reality. Ask Don Quixote. - The Jedi Knight YK

  • It ain't over 'til it's over. - Tom (the wonder car)

  • Life's a game. There's no winner, there's no loser, all that matters is how much of it you get to see before the end. But there's no save, and you can't start over, so don't go killing yourself. - MyRedDice

  • Balance your checkbook. Don't put it off, don't think you'll do it tomorrow, do it now. There is nothing so frustrating as thinking that you have money and discovering that it's all gone. W hen you do fail to balance your checkbook, don't blame the bank. This will only make them charge you a fee for your bounced check. - Cheezdanish

  • Change is always check yours before you leave the shop. - Doctor Doughnuts

  • No one should live his or her life in a certain way just because society dictates it as the accepted convention, the way things are done, or the respectable path. The only way a person can be truly noble is by doing the legwork of figuring out what really matters to him or her, and then living by it. It's much harder to follow your own convictions and deal with friction from the world around you than to adopt society's rules, but it's also much more rewarding. - Luna Blackpool

  • You aren't going to like everyone you meet, and you can't expect everyone to like you. And when they don't, it's probably not your fault. - Kristina Marie

Thanks to everyone who has already participated for their wisdom! Please post here and I'll add any you have to add, and don't worry if it seems obvious to you, others may not have thought of it or about it.

1A dissenting viewpoint in the 'religion' section? Imagine our surprise.2The writer of this page reserves the right to leave all flattering things in this article.

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