h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Thankyou for letting me come.I promise not to nibble the guests unless they ask me too. Besides Ex- R has got me on a strict diet,and won't let me snack between meals.

ooo! 3 red dots.
have 3 , everybody.

Make mine chocolate milk, please...

::looks at the monsters she invited:: I thought all these guys had been killed off...

..I thought Medusa had been, too....
Either that, or collecting her pension.

<BB<

AH... but they all live on in legend!!!

Or as

Very true.
As long as no-one invites Elvis, I'm happy. He's the worst of all.

<BB<

Do you think the of Elvis will show up uninvited?

No, for I feel that, luckily, his corpse was kidnapped by for genetic research.

<BB<

I ain't nuthin but a hound dog

Hi! I was invited here by Ex-Rambling and I'm not sure whether to be flattered or insulted.

Well, if you're not a yourself, you can always help us teach and train them.

<BB<

Flattered? Insulted?

This is a party! Have some and/or
and/or . If you see some cute s
of the other gendrical persuasion, follow your instincts...

Elvis gives me nightmares....

Poor Dragonfly!

So, when Elvis comes to you in these nightmares,
is he in his trademark white jumpsuit with rhinestones
and wisphy leather thingies, or with a lei around
his neck a la "Blue Hawaii," or in an army uniform?*

Inquiring minds want to know!

But you don't have to if you don't want to.




*Assuming that he's wearing anything.

YUCK!!!

He comes with his stupid swagger and weird lip and he insults the BEATLES in my nightmares.

Insults the Beatles!? The nerve!!

And they can't do anything in retaliation
because he's enjoying a fried peanut butter
sandwich and two pounds of bacon somewhere
in the great beyond.

I'd offer to share some of my dreams to
displace your nightmares, but Elvis *might*
pop up in one of my dreams, too.
Then again, I will probably dream about
trying to finish writing a book that I
started writing 8 years ago. (Actually,
I finished it, but dreams always seem to make
me go back and rewrite it.) Is it any wonder
I wake ujp tired in the morning?

what's your book about? Elvis?

I started a book ten years ago, and it's still not finished.

I find writing is easy, it's just finding the time to do it that is the hard part, as whenever I feel inspired, I have to go to work.

<BB<

Elvis is one of the few people my book
was NOT about.

The plot: A young man from hundreds of
years in future takes a dyslexic time machine
on a search mission to find his father, who
is lost somewhere in the past. The time machine
scrambles any instructions that are given to it,
with the result that it could materialize in
an airport waiting room in Taipei, or
in 22nd-century Venice, or in the path of
the Hurricane of 1938, or even 7,000 years
in the future in the ruins of Washington, D.C.
Along the way, it picks up: an American traveller
in Taipei who is bored with waiting around for his
next plane, a clone of Jesus, a clone of
Mozart, and a clone of Scheherezade.

The young man finally finds his father, who
has been imprisoned on an island in the Aegean
while attempting to get DNA for making a clone
of Homer. A volcano is about to shatter the island.
The residents tied the father to a scaffold on the
mountainside, but fled the island when the island
started to quake. Thus, the father is alone on the
island, and really can't escape by himself.

A delegation of aliens from the nearest inhabited
planets is about to come to earth to offer their help
in exchange for the world's greatest artworks, which
they will "borrow" for 500 years. What they do for
the U.S.A. is to dig a channel for the Mississippi
across Texas, New Mexico, and Arizona, so that
boat and barge traffic can move easily across the
country without having to use the Panama Canal.
Also, the Western states desperately need extra
water.