h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I must protect the innocent.

Do we have any innocent?

<BB<

It depends on your definition of innocent. I tend to decide on a more or less innocent than me basis.

BB, I just entered the bikini contest!

* shows off his bikini *

The bottom part changes colour almost randomly, while the top part is invisible and has a subtle muscle-enhancing effect to avoid the weak and puny look.

* poses *

* the bottom part goes mustard yellow *

I should have gotten one with a limited colour range...

* it becomes vomit pink *

*gets out her sunglasses and a bucket*

This is all getting increasingly weird. But then, things do in my vicinity.

Oh, and MaW, and didn't say that /this/ dimension had the physical law of your being a closet fetishist.

Yes, I know.

* the bikini bottom becomes a much more tasteful shade of forest green, which would be fine apart from the pink stripe down the left hand side *

Oh no...

* the pink stripe vanishes *

That's much better.

*stares at MaW's legs*
Do you find that people ignore your head now, and just stare at your bikini bottom when talking to you?

<BB<

*wanders round to MaW's backside to see if it's a thong*

* Mina discovers that it is not a thong *

I have to cover up my horrible bottom, you see

* the bikini turns pale grey *

Yes BB, I do find people look at it a lot. Isn't that the point? I also see St. Seven of Nine has entered again. I think we should just all go home now.

Thanks.

* s Mina, staying clear of the manacles *

Don't worry, second place is still up for grabs.

Your support and faith encourage me no end.

It's one of the things I'm here for.

* MaW's bikini goes day-glo orange, and decorates itself with floral sillhouettes in black *

*returns from swim in the ocean, borroughing bikini from one of her cousins*

That's just too much!*covers eyes with hand, trying hard not to look at MaW's bikini*

* MaW's bikini changes colour, but not design - the orange becomes dark blue, and the black becomes gold *

It's okay, you can look now.

Dark blue and gold? Yes, nice...

*goes to get yet another ice cream*

* plucks an ice cream out of nowhere in particular and eats it *

* his bikini turns chocolate brown *

I'm not sure that's particularly flattering...

So far, no-one has won the bikin competition twice in a row. In the first year, Emmy won with a 20 point margin, but last year lost by 3 points to St. Seven. If you drum up enough support, anyone can win. Perhaps the people who voted for Seven last year are no longer on the guide? Perhaps you have more friends this year than you know?
Neither Peregrin nor I expected to win the presidency, we felt that Joanna & DD were sure to win, but we got the most votes - so in my mind, it's very much an open contest.

Anything can happen in the next half hour.

<BB<

*returning licking cone of lemon ice, wearing her sea elf bikini*