h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ohh Lochie, don't be sad.
I'm sure you done all you could.
Mabe he just wasn't ment to be.
......Sid.......

Thanks Sid.... :*-(

Loch-

Hugs and sympathy from all. He's gone to a better place, to scamper free from worry. I have here some words I found:

I am the Life and the Light and the Way-
The earth is my Garden.
Each of the Souls I plant as seeds
Germinates and flowers in its season,
And in each I am fulfilled.
There is no cause for grief
When a blossom fades
But only rejoicing for the beauty it held
And praise that my Will is done
And my Plan served.
I am one with all creatures
And none is ever lost
But only restored to me,
Having never left me at all.
For what is Eternal
Cannot be separated from its Source.
I am with you all,
And each of you is a channel for my Light.
Feel my Love
Enfold you now and evermore.

I find that to be a very powerful piece of poetry, and wish its comfort on all those who have been bereaved.

And I hope you all appreciate the pain of typing that lot in...

Sid -

I didn't realise Sting was plagarising my life! I'll 'ave 'im done over for that! I never listen to him, so I wouldn't know, thanks for pointing it out. Engage litiagtion mode...

Love is...

Letting a mouse into your life, no matter how briefly, and knowing he is the only man who matters *sniff*

Yes Sid!!!

'sus

Love is...totally over-rated. It isn't that fabulous. It might feel great at first, but when you really think about it isn't great at all. Love just adds to all the troubles you've already got and distracts you and makes you feel like a total idiot. It is THE cliche, and NOBODY, I mean NOBODY ever gets that "and they lived happily ever after"-(movie)ending. Of course, this is just the cynical point of view that most of people don't share.

Your basic "love" is that of the "on the first sight" kind. That's all about chemical reactions and other biological stuff.
"Real" Love is that you understand somebody and that somebody understands you, and of course that you can stand that somebody and that somebody can stand you (at least to a point).

Problem is that people always get these two mixed up. Bad for them, because it just leads to disappointmens if you can't distinguish between these two types.

And your point?

Tell us something we _don't_ already know, and that certain members of our clan already know they are beyond...

Actually Sid, I disagree with what you said about love being able to talk without fear of ridicule. I think it's more a case of being able to understand and forgive being ridiculed by your Special Someone (SS??!), and know they don't think any less of your for being 'only human'.

'sus

I thought the enhanced fear is what made it so exciting anyway?

Now that's another subject entirely!!

Love is... never having to say you're sorry.

Let me just qualify this overused and widely misunderstood phrase a little. It reality, 'love' is all about respecting someone, and therefore never deliberately or knowingly doing something which you know will hurt them, or require an apology later. We all make 'mistakes' of course, but I'm referring to the 'delberate' ones!

'sus

hey i did that, a few months ago - wrote to a teacher who had really helped me out in a rough patch, and just let her know that she was important to me, and that she had had a big influence, and that i had achieved stuff now, and that it was a least partly thanks to her. i just wrote to her care of the old school, and i have no idea if she got it, but i think teachers get off on that kind of thing. if i was a teacher i can think of nothing that would make me feel like what i was doing was worthwhile more. go for it. even if it doesn't get there, it's worth a go.
(coherency rating tonight - very low, sorry)

i have to agree on the respect thing - that's what it all boils down to - unless i'm being cynical, in which case love is merely our brains giving a deeper meaning (justification) to our selfish genes insisting we procreate to continue their existence (i think someone already suggested something along these lines in this thread, otherwise blame Dawkins) and the one(s) we love is/are just good genetic stock. grrrrrr.

but when i'm not being cynical i guess love is comfortable silences, freedom and, yeah, respect again.

the worst thing about unrequited love* is the whole should I shouldn't i tell thing. if you're not going to tell (or more ideally never actually see the object of your affection again) then you're fine, someone else will come along. it's when there's interaction and hope that problems arise. hope should be outlawed in this regard - although it's probably kind-of hard to outlaw something you foister upon yourself.

* i totally agree on the whole true love has to be reciprocal thing btw.

it any of that made sense to anyone let me know, otherwise feel free to ignore my bah humbug rant.

Respect and trust seem to be the most vital things, but understanding the other person is also a large part. Me and Pegasus have just stumbled over an important part of understanding, which is communicating clearly with the other person (we're just good friends, you understand )

We fell over the 'you thought that I thought that YOU thought suchandsuch' syndrome. For me, this has been a major part of relationships failing, a lack of clear communication and understanding of the other persons perceptions of things.

Damn, another cliche 'we need to talk'. Ah well, the reason they're cliches is 'cause it's true. A better one would be 'We need to speak clearly, and think hard about what we're hearing from the other person', obviously this doesn't roll off the tongue so easily. *shrug*

what about that great end-of-relationship cliche It's not you it's me? i'm sorry but sometimes it's true and there's no avoiding it. sometimes something just changes inside you and it doesn't work anymore - or is it just me?

i get your point about understanding - although for me that can fold back into respect - if you respect someone you'll a) listen and b) point out when there are communciation problems when they arise. well in the ideal world at least. even my oldest friend and I (since we were three) have big communication break-downs. and at other times we are virtually psychic.

maybe love is bothering to find out if what you thought they said/thought is really what they thought/meant, amongst other things.

and terms of that whole saying sorry thing - love is never feeling like you have to say sorry, but always saying it anyway

I can't disagree with you on the 'its not you' thing, but more usually it's both parties who have changed - such is humans. I can't say it doesn't hurt though, from either side.

I'd like to live in the ideal world, it sounds like fun. I know what you mean about being pyschic with friends and it's great when it happens with lovers, but that level of understanding takes a lot of time and effort, and a level of compatibility I find hard to find with too many people.

I wish Love was bothering to find out, before it's too late.

Love Is... a selection of skills relating to interpersonal communications with a specific person. Hmm, that wasn't very romantic, was it?

saying sorry? I'm English and say sorry all the time anyway...

oh i never said it didn't hurt - i think i can say i'm lucky enough not to ever have actually had my heart broken, but that's in hindsight, rather than at the time when the world is falling apart.

i think it's probably quite healthy to not be on that level of compatibility with too many people - it can get really draining and hard to keep up when there are too many people in too many different places trying to keep up a close link with you (that was far too obscure)

as for the sorry thing - i'm a kiwi and i say sorry all the time too - i think it's a covering mechanism - in the horrible attempt at going out for coffee with someone a few weeks ago (read a tragic story confessed) he actually started to count how many times i had said sorry, which only prompted me to say sorry more - non-sorry sayers should cut corry-sayers a bit of slack me thinks! but then i'm all bitter and twisted so what do i know.

I too have experienced this, I seriously doubt however that any non-sorry sayer will ever forgive a sorry sayer for saying sorry.


Try typing that after a tight on the niles *hic* Sorry...

may non-sorry sayers be cursed with falling hopelessly in love with sorry sayers - maybe then we could breed one or the other trait out too.

...really complicated!

I don't think the problem when 'love' ends is that people change. I think the problem is (following on from what Zed said) that people generally misunderstand each other in the first place (often deliberately). We tend to imagine our SS to be what we want them to be and, more often than not, they play along. Eventually, the gloss wears off, and we get all accusational and say things like 'you never used to be like that'. I could go into personal examples here, but this entry's already getting long!

But the main problem I think is the word 'love'. We tend to bundle too many different emotions under the heading 'love' (eg. lust, obsession, power, friendship, family relationships, etc. etc.), when most often we consider love/true love to be a romantic/ethereal thing. What we really need is to overhaul the language, and come up with new words for some of the emotions commonly called 'love'. Perhaps there's a few in 'The Meaning of Liff'...!?!

'sus

I was going to say that Love Is really complicated because people are even more complicated, but I've just been to >help< buy a mobile phone, and I can't think of anything as complex as that experience..

I would disagree with 'Sus in that people deliberatly mis-understand their SS, but only because I cannot understand wanting to do such a thing. I am quite a simple person, and don't comprehend much of life's deviousness. I prefer to think of people making genuine mistakes, rather than maliciousness. To expand on our SS being what we want them to be, this is usually true, because we love them and want to be loved in the same way.

Also, I have found that all human beings expect other people to be the same as them. They do not, OTW, understand why other people behave in the way they do, because that is not how they themselves 'think'. I know this is turning into psycology, but I can't help it. This trait tends to be deeply subconcious, but I assure you that its there, if you look. Well, I find it much easier to explain peoples actions with this theory, anyway.

Does anyone know of a better language for describing feelings, or shall we invent one here?

H&K
Z