h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*sits upright*

I have an old fraternity brother who is in the foreign service. I can drop him a line and find out if your ex has been putting out any feelers.

Don't worry Colonel, we'll get to the bottom of this one.

*Smiles at him and refils his glass*

Thank you for your help and whenever Bubba's ready to go, the sooner the better I think

*Knocks on the door.*

Colonel?

Come in Scan, what can I do for you?

I think I'm prepared- I'll need two days though. You ever read that book Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? Where they had "Mostly harmless," for Earth's entry? Well, they had more on Earth than what we have on this place. I need to do some field recon before I can do anything useful.

Take whatever time you need and yes I have read the book, do you have an escort for this trip?

Just talked to Major Fretts- six members of his team need to earn their pay, so they're coming with me.

Ah that's good news, I'm serious, no offworld team is to go out without an SG-3 or 6 escort

*Points to the Scotch bottle*

Want one?

Yeah, why not?

*Helps herself, and takes a seat.*

So folks, I'm sorry if you got the wrong ideas about my questions, but someone has been in my office and gone methodically gone through my file draws, I have my suspicions and they were both in my office when I told you and no I don't think it was either of you, and I have a pretty good idea on who's orders the office was searched

*Smiles, relieved.*

It's OK- I just wasn't expecting the Spanish Inquisition.

Anyway enough with my paranoia, is there anywhere particular you 2 need to go offworld?

I was still planning on going with Fretts to check out those glider designs. I doubt the snakeheads can do a better job than the folks at Area 51 but it's worth checking.

*turns to Scandrea*

By the way Major, nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.

*Rolls her eyes.*

Our chief weapons are fear. And surprise. And fanatical devotion to The Pope.

Actually, there was one other planet I was going to do some mapping on after I'm done with this. Should prove to be interesting, kimberlite pipes on a naquedah-producing planet. We might see some very cool things.

As soon as you're ready to go I'll authorise it

Another drink anyone or shall we start on AkronU's beer

*Passes her the file.*

Just needs the rubber stamp!

*stamps the apropriate page*

There you are let the gate room know when you're ready to go

Thank you, ma'am, I'll get out there right away!

*Salutes and leaves.*