h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

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<*Is vaguely confused, not unusual for a Cork man*>

<<>>

*Walter slips in and picks up the phone*

[Walter] Major Davis please

*Walter hangs up the phone and slips out and heads to the Gate Room*

*walks in, sees phone a little out of place, hits "redial", frowns, and walks out of the room*

*Enters and picks up the phone"

General O'Neill please

<< you want someone to fill in O'Neill or you going to cover it yourself>>

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<< *rolls eyes* geez, definitely too much TV>>

"one moment

....

*sound of someone picking up phone*


Hello, this is O'Neill"

Oh my God Jack, at long last, what the hell is going on, some hard-@$$ed Colonel turned up here, threw me in the brig and took over, he's bought a load of crew-cut goons with him who've thrown my guys out and he is acting like a mixture of Hitler and the Grand Dragon of the KKK AND no-one's been able to get hold of you or Major Davis

Something you wanna tell me Jack, Sam's not going to be happy

"...

Hold on, rewind, what happened?

If someone was meant to take over from you I missed the paperwork

...

Its entirely possible I missed the paperwork. Who is he? Gimme a name, something"

The name is Scott, he thinks that Earth should be for the humans and we shouldn't be so 'Liberal' with our policies out there in the Galaxies, he wants us to go out there and take what he wants.

What happened to Major Davis?

" *sound of scribbling*

He's dealing with a little political sensitivity I may have caused. You know how I hate this stuff. I'll have someone look into this as soon as I can. I cant believe they send a guy like that to take over from you but we allI know some people who think that way. Try not to make it worse, I'll send over Davis when he's finished here.

"

<>

Ah, Jack I think it's worse already, my..um..faithful have taken things into their own hands, I'm just keeping a low profile. Who ordered Scott to take over anyway.

Tell Davis to wear a flak jacket and to come armed and not to stand for too long in a public area, pete's a little trigger happy at the moment

Love to Sam

"...

*carefully still ignoring Sam comments*

Well, I-"

*is cut off*

<>

*Starts to fiddle with the phone*

Jack, Jack, Oh busted.

*Makes a run for the door*

Med bay I think

**