h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*sighs*
I'm torn between two Angels...

* FC enters as Herald of Heaven and stands in front of the massed Angels and Archangels* *A large gong can be heard resonating in the background� the sound of trumpets begins to fill the room� Saints twist their heads to try to discover the source of the music but none can be found.* *cough* Angels, over the past while we have been without our very first Angel and Archangel. Yes, many of you have been to her page requesting that she return, and one of you even sent himself to hell swearing not to return until she returned. It was looking desperate, but I have great pleasure in reintroducing our very own, much loved Archangel Zax* *the room becomes suddenly silent, the saints unsure as to what is going to happen�* *there is a large pause where nothing happens� FC turns to look at the curtains�* Well. Come out� We�ve done the trumpet fanfares and the gong� Oh all right then, have it your way� *A single balloon falls from the ceiling� there is still no movement from behind the curtain� FC walks up to the curtain�* Come on you� they love you out here� *slowly a wave of Zax*� Zax*� Zax*� starts round the saints* *The curtains part revealing Archangel Zax* as never seen before. She is wearing a silk gown, which has obviously been chose with the help of St. Alicat� The saints take a deep breath�* *She takes a few steps forward� and the rest of the balloons and streamers fall from the ceiling* *loud cheers can be heard coming from the crowd, and many angels rush forward to greet the Archangel as she returns to the fold�* Now. Come on everyone back to work� Come on� Please? Oh. Fair enough then� I guess I�d better organise a Welcome Back Party� How about in Zax�s Lounge??? 8-) http://www.h2g2.com/F38362?thread=69748&post=519397

*bows to Ras*
I am sorry but I will have to leave I know I suposidly cannot get hurt in heven but with you I am not shure
*clicks his fingers then Grins*
Oh by the way I would check your beads before trying to strangle any body with them.
*walks off wisaling a bright tune as Ras is left holding a string of popcorn*

*smiles all around*

ANOTHER arch? so soon?

wow!

can't wait!

...

...

*everyone looks around vaguely*

..-

*realization slowly dawns*

Uh, OH! That's ME! i've got it!

*reaches into trench pocket, pulls out cell phone, and- flipping it open- puts it to ear*

Hello?
*listens*

uh huh... yeah... you don't say?.. really? Aruba? what are you doing there??... ok.. uh, you mean NOW? OH!.. Yes sir! you got it!
*hangs up, flips the phone shut, then returns it to pocket*

Steps up onto nearest chair, and raps on ever-present pint-glass*



MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE??

*60 faces turn to face Zax*
Saint Fashion Cat! Would you please step forward??

*FC threads her way to the front of the gathered saints to stand before Zax*

*Zax snaps fingers in the air, and a familiar little rotund Cherub comes running up dragging the Golden Sword*

*taking the sword, Zax taps the tiny round hiney with it, scooting it back toward the door, then turns to face FC*

*touches sword tip to floor near FC's left foot*

FC, Your fellow Angels have spoken!
For your dedication to the Guardian Angels, and for your constant support and willingness to serve.. For your positive outlook and your heart of gold...

*lifts the Golden Sword up over FC's head and back down to touch floor near right foot, leaving a vividly shining arc hovering in the air around her*

You are hereby named FASHION CAT, the ARCHANGEL.
*a vibrant red heart materializes on FC's shirt, seeming to purr as it pulses.*

Your towel...
*grinning, Zax hands FC a Large, beautifully wrapped package*

*Looks out over the room and shouts*
Come on everyone!! can you believe it?? SIXTY SAINTS!!!

*jumps down from chair and hugs FC*

WOW!! Congratulations!!!!!!!!

YEAY!!!!!!!

Zax.... you wonderful person.... *blush*

opens present.... my towel! oh.... and a red heart....

*thinks about doing a Gwenyth Paltrow type speech... decides against it... *

its beautiful.... *totally shocked*


*hugs Zax* now we can have a triple celebration... your return, my arching and Tweeties results!!!

so.. how does that secret handshake go again???

60! Wow... hard to believe. Oh, congrats FC You are THE Archangel (Zax who ?)

GB steps forward....HUGS FC....
Congratulations!

*Walks back in the room Gives F.C.a hug*
Congadulations you really deseve it.
*leavs befor Ras notices.*

*hugs FC*
*notices that's she's now floating 10 feet off the floor, instead of the 5 she was all day until she came crashing down to earth this afternoon*
*but today is for FC, and not Tweet's problems- after all that's what her journal's for*
Congrats FC- I couldn't be happier for you
*hands her a small box*
I hope you like it

oh you are all wonderful.... Tweet, thank you. I shall keep it with me at all times... but Spork... I could never replace THE Archangel... well, not for the moment at any rate Give me a week or so!

Replace Zax? Never!

Congrats FC. You deserve it.

*Giving Spork a truly arch look*

Thank you, Dan!

Tho nothing would make me more proud than to no longer be needed!
(wanted, but not needed!)

Okay then, we don't need you.

(Just kidding)

*grins*
Certainly living up to your name there Dan

Definately wanted....
Thanks for all your help Zax*...
Have you checked out my new Guide ML pages?
U128652
and my new venture after Survivor, the Quaint Caress Beauty Shoppe
at God's retirement village {I wonder why I couldn't link from my page, to God's?} #A415522.....
Do drop by....

* Rasputin strides into the bar region looking dark & foreboding. Usually this is enough to scare the willies out of most guests, even the females… *

* What really is of greater concern is that he has his hands on the golden sword. He smiles ruefully at Bob as he goes past, Bob inturn shudders with acknowledgment… *


* The Archangel Tweetie nervously tries to move between the pair as she has been given the job of keeping an eye on the human volcano. One could equate it to serving the drinks on the Titanic, certainly plenty of ice for the drinks, but really it still leaves you with that sinking feeling… *

* Rasputin strides manfully forward his eyes blazing and his temper shorter than Pygmy in a tribe whose dubbed 'Peewee'. He scowls at LePerdyMonkee, LePerdyMonkee stands rigidly still trying to somehow fade into the décor. It doesn't work and the pink monkey wrangles forward head bowed somewhere below the monkeys knees… *

--, ~_, =_, ~~ !!!

* He says, which for those not familiar with the monks curiously expressive eyebrows says… *

I dub you Saint LePerdyMonkee The Patron Saint Of The Selectively Ignored !!!

HE wants you to go forth and find those hardy souls the other saints wouldn't touch even with a ten foot bargepole… for either reasons of taste, temperament or hygiene !!!

* Rasputin muscles flex with the same determination as his eyebrows, a sword swirls over the monkeys head… a large tuft of hair plummets to the floor… *

* Luckily, it went past within a whisker of taking more than hair…A golden halo appears & some velvety pink wings *

* Archangel Zax momentarily looks up from the bar in the direction of the newly christened pink monkey with wings, she hastily orders another round of drinks, just in case she becomes sober again… *


* Rasputin stumbles over to the bar and get a hipflask out, drinks the contents, and unsteadily makes his way back where Dragonfly is standing… *

^ ~, ^^,\_, __ !!!

* Which roughly translates as… *

I hereby dub you Saint Dragonfly The Patron Saint Of Muses !!!

May you go forth and sort out the truly inspiring from the run-of-the-mill mirthsome muses !!!

* A sword is thrusted in the general direction of Dragonfly, and who said nimbleness wasn't really necessary since man left the prehistoric age behind… *

* After making a valiant attempt to not become tonight's protein source for the kebabs, a green holly spray of a halo traces shower around Dragonfly's head & a set of pure white wings sprout forth… *

* Rasputin proffers the sword to Tweetie, Tweetie for the sake of the others takes it just as Rasputin takes her drink, consumes it, and takes back the sword in one swift motion… *

^^,/~, #_, +\ !!!

* Which if you had been paying attention roughly translates as… *

I hereby dub you Saint Redfish The Patron Saint Of Aquatic Life !!!

May you go forth and care of all those who inhabit the oceans, and not just the Sirens & Mermaids !!!

* He thrust the sword forward, Redfish springs right, then left, and finally has to do a backflip… Rasputin finally gives up on trying to 'hit' the mark and waves the sword about dejectedly… A red halo springs into action & a curious set of red wings… *

* He sees Jezzrian, Jezzrian sees him. The monk springs forth using all his ample frame to deter escape, Jezzrian stares unblinking… *

~~,~_, ……, __ !!!

* Which of course means… *

I hereby dub you Saint Jezzrian The Patron Saint Of Dubious Reasoning !!!

May you go forth and help to stamp out those whom seek to twist arguments by all means unfair & foul !!!

* A sword thunders over her head as the tops of the candle lamps nearby give some indication of the trajectory the sword was originally headed towards - her neck… *

* A lovely shining silver halo appears & a set of golden wings… *


* He 'stalks' toward Salam… *

^~, ~^, ^^, _- !!!

* Although there seems to be some involuntary twitching from frustration, it generally tells of… *

I hereby dub you Salam Saberhagen The Patron Saint Of Indomitable Spirits !!!

May you go forth and lead by example showing what can be done with a veritable Fortress of Fortitude, no matter what kind of perils await !!!

* A sword loops in an exceedingly strange and varied path, due in no small part to the fact a small slither of Salam ear lands on the floor !!! *

* Salam looks stunned, the newer angels looked stunned, Big 'Evil' Dan is already getting out the medical kit… *

~~,^^,~-, __ !!!

* Which says… *

Can somebody now get me a drink !!!

Welcome all!

welcome, jezz!

WOW!! You stay away for awhile and look what you miss!! Oh well, I DO have a life(humble as it be). Congratulations FC, and keep up the good works. And hello to all you new angels, I see new angels all over the guide now, it's cool. Well, off to elsewhere!! Cheers!