h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Tweetie is pacing up and down the room, fists clenched*
*Zax looks a little unnerved, never having seen her in this mood before. Thistle has and is now behind the bar, having hopped over it when Tweetie got to her last drink*
Grrrr.
*Tweetie's wings begin to flutter and she rises slightly off the ground, not really noticing what she's doing*
Only did it cos the lickle ickle cartoon charcters don't get drunk.
*hic*
Me's a little bit tipsy.
*looks down at herself*
I'm flying!
*does a loop the loop*
Wheeeee!
Wanna hit something.
Grrr, hormones...
*suddenly forgets how to fly and ends up face down on the ground*
Hello floor.

You were supposed to miss.. 'member?

*big -gulp-, ----> blissful oblivion.*





btw.. ( i put an ICQ pager and a CHAT room (one of my guide entry pages) on my page... you guys are free to use it if you can find it... page me and i'll drop by if i'm on...)

*wakes up and groans*
Oh boy, how the heck did I get here?
*looks sheepish and cringes*
I have memories.
And a massive headache.
Ouch.
Ummm, did I start playing the piano?
Oh good- I was worried for a minute there...

im great at this entering thing arent I? I mean i either enter twice (hence the name! hence??) or i enter at precisely the right moment
HAHAHAHA tweetie
cartoon characters must get drunk like....... someone i dont know
hey rasputin how are you? noone else seems to speak much round here they just lay around on the floor.
Thistle - what u doing behind the bar there...?
Hi God how is the rest of the universe, and your homepage rocks!
I KNOW I KNOW
i will change mine i just need to kill/convince my parents to get free internet - yes its weird but they "dont trust these deals/servers/people/etc"
GRRRRRRRRRRRR
Ras could i have a drink please?
anything
what would you recommend??
Ill have that then
goes and sits on sofa
waves at tweetie who is looking slightly "wobbly and vaguely trying to fly/walk"
come and sit here dear
there
SH*T sorry ive turned into a zax
damnit

*crashes headlong into Angel*
Hey there. You made it.
*thinks*
Don't make any sudden movements or loud sounds- I may have to smite you...
Anyway, I'm not in my cartoon form right now- I transmogrified to the human one (you really had to be here).
Think I gave Zax a bit of a shock.
Actually, think I gave everyone a bit of a shock
Know how to make an entrance though *g*

*wanders in*

What's this vodka business? Pour me a bit o' Yukon Jack, that's the good s**t.

*settles down on the extremely large and comfortable sofa*

Methinks we need a little music.

*Pumps up the Beaste Boys... for the mood.*

Well that got a lot of response.

Rasp, pour me a *firewater*.

Angel², bite me.

i think i'm REALLY beginning to resent the commentary regarding my commentary..... i think, but i'm not sure.....

yet.

*takes fresh drink to corner to ponder the possibility*

* HE walks in wearing a bejewelled, encrusted long golden robes, large golden sunglasses with an expensive looking sceptre in his hand. A song is on his lips, a twinkle in his eyes and the adulation of a bunch of screaming girls following him hanging off his every word, just adds to his serenity... *

Oh...hello...Uh, it’s Tweddle Dee, Sax and Loreth isn’t it ?

* Preens his robes a little *

Look, I just dropped by to say MY new celebrity status won’t change our relationship in any way.

* HE blushes at the coquettish suggestion from one of the nymphettes *

Although I’ve hung around with some pretty important , impressive characters in the last 24 hrs or so... (the cocktail party at Santa Barbara with the likes of DNA). You can rest assured I will send a postcard, every Millennia or so...

* His beeper goes off , looks down & smiles *

Ever since the 1-2-1 interview it’s been all go. What with opening Shopping Malls, attending celebrity charity days & making the cover of Time Magazine under the title - ‘God - He is really too good to be true’.

Also, I’ve just got word, MY new religious chat show is GO...


* Tries to hide the bulging address book in his robes *

Look, you are still MY ‘bestest of bestest’ friends, I’m afraid you’ll just have to share with the other 10,000 of MY‘nearest and dearest’...

* Whistles and bristles the tune ‘All the Way...’ *

And, MY new fangled friends like St.Elvis, St.Sinatra & the Rat-Pack are alright. With their charm, handsome good looks, style, elan and talent, but it’s really just their way of hiding their inadequacies...

So, I’ll be seeing you - Sometime...

- Drunk on Life, Drunk on Power.

*Tweetie enters the room behind GOD, Angel trailing behind looking bemused*
Ok, here's the plan. We overthrow this egotistical God out of Heaven and become independents
Only joking, but can we use a pin to deflate his ego slightly?
*Angel whispers "Can I pop the airheads?"*
*thistle giggles and Tweetie glares*
Anyway, you're only a novelty my celestial mate- they'll get rid of you when someone new comes along.
Think I'm getting through yet?
*Angel warns Tweetie about the use of the word "mate" and Tweetie reminds her that is meant to be derogatory (sp?) and not in any way an indication of a relent against God.*
;-P

*flies in*
Rasputin, I'll have a mindrotter.

Hmm...nice place. Perfect, in fact. Mind you, I wouldn't expect any less from heaven.

Ok, now that I've firmly put myself out of his favour I realise that I have to ask God a favour.
*flaps over to Rasputin and remarks*
We're gonna need a truckload in for this one...

this one is from Justin...

<...another with the bottom quarter covered by something which -for all intents and purposes- we will assume to be a large coffee stain...>
this is Irving's...

Spork E insists he had his when he left his house, but here's the one i had him fill out...



AAAAAnnnnd.... Bruce is here as well! it took a LOT of coaxing, but i got him! i was thinking of giving him something along the lines of an outlet in his halo... or maybe covering his wings with code... Cliff's Notes style.... i'm sure you've got something planned for him tho...!



I'll have a suicide of your three best, Ras... and serve 'em up for EVERYONE! oh, BTW! Nice ceremony this morning!

hey tweetie, i don't giggle!


sorry guys, i wasn't drunk, honest.
gonna go see zax's icq thing, see ya later!

*shakes her head at Thistle, who is kind of hanging in mid-air*
I've seen you giggle before now.
Hey Zax
*waves in the general direction of him*
Nice one with all the soon-to-be-Saints
*looks at the drink Rasputin has placed in front of her*
Oh good.
*tips it back in one*
Pour another six of these please Ras.
And everyone else'll want something too, probably.
*eg*

Thistle! good to see you.. don't go, yet! long time, eh? pull up a couch and have a drink!

anyone seen the new recruits? quite a high class bunch..

Not that we're lowbrow, eh Zax?
*slumps down on the sofa opposite him, holding out a drink and a tray of brownies*
So, how's tricks?

*Relaxes on her sofa, or what she has come to think of as hers.*

Man, they don't call it firewater for nothing.

*rubs her head*

* HE wanders in, looking a just a few steps ahead of himself. Looking like a four year old who has just been told the merry-go-round ride is over... *

Oh hello...

* HE manages to ignominiously look up and confront the bold face stares of the angels *

I...I...am sorry for MY actions of late. I don’t know... what came over me...

* Fame can be a fickle mistress at the best of times, but at other times, she can positively be a dominatrix. It’s a wild ride fame, but unfortunately, as someone once speculated, it only last about 15 nanoseconds... *

The tone of MY previous affirmation of kinship, was obviously right pure content, but I feel, the ‘tone’ may have let it down...

* The neon that once radiated out of his robes has been bleached back to the original, if rather dour, pure white *

The religious chat show that was offered to me, just kept me away from MY friends for far too long... *blub*, *blub*...

* One could speculate that it was the fact HE didn’t read the fine print very well. Apparently, the millions of dollars HE had hoped to receive, was infact, the amount of money HE would have to pay to have it aired... *

* Sighs *

* Looks over at Archangel Zax. Smiles. Not simply out of pride, but more out of the knowledge that the rest of the Saints will give him ‘merry hell’ now. Ponders: ‘ ...and they complain about back-biting in the Vatican !!!’ *

Anyway, Archangel Zax will shortly be ‘marshalling’ the heavenly forces into somekind of a focussed, cracked, but exceedingly helpful unit. So stay peeled to find out...

- Simply, Very, VERY...Sorry.

*dourly contemplating the fact that the "ARCH" simply means "MULE"* I shoulda guessed!
I wouldn't be in too big a hurry to ask for this "honor", lads... I REALLY shoulda listened to Saint Peter!



All we need now is a fireplace!

Well, gang? where should we start?

are any of us (besides me) guarding anyone yet?