h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

ls it true that if you get a glow-in-the-dark barbell for a tongue piercing, and get into the habit of leaving it in for extended periods, that it's unhealthy, due to the radium content of the material?

ln happier news however: that cell phones do not cause brain cancer. Though admittedly mine tends to be prohibitively expensive enough that l doubt l'd get any appreciable exposure...

Egg nog was cooked up,
to my chagrin and dismay,
Yuck! Cursed egg nog!

Yuck yuck yuck

Sitting here watching all this activity has almost made me feel christmassy. How odd. Anyway, stretching back into the dark corners of my mind I vaguely remember making decorations in primary. So *Reaches behind chair and pulls out scissors, coloured paper and that copydex glue stuff you got at school* lets see if I can remember. *Proceeds to fold, cut, paste and generally make a mess*
Oh, and a Happy Solstice to you all.

Happy solstice to you Munchkin and all else here.
Today is the first day of the christmas freedom - time to finish the shopping and wrapping.

*Takes some of Munchkin's paper and the scisors and proceeds to make a line of snowmen to hang on the wall*

I'vth sthtuck the paperth to myth tongueth
*Rip* Ah, that's better. Anyway, one multicoloured paper chain. Ta da. *Throws it artistically around tree and then wanders back to the seat, pulling pieces of paper, glue and a pair of scissors off of himself.*

[Amy]

*still too busy to do anything other than try to keep up with the backlog*

Amy, you hang in there, girl, as my fellow Amair'c'ns like to say -- holiday looms.

Sporky, that haiku is so YOU...

Munchkin and Phil, you guys really DO understand. I love your decorations! I'm going to put the glass pickle on the tree now. And I reckon we can all throw tinsel on the tree as the spirit moves us.

Matina can I have -- oh, thank you. Ooh, fresh cinnamon buns!

Sporky's is about the best haiku I've read in a long time! I was trying to come up with one, but that's just it. No element of surprise; contrived. I was TRYING to come up with one. I've missed the Atelier, Lil...long bout of severe allergic reaction to Neosporin, fearless fasting and herbal therapy. Very scary. Now gathering sour oranges for homemade mojo...roast pork, black beans and yucca naturally holiday fare in this Cuban-American home.

Hey, ox, good to meet you.

You can eat yucca? I thought it was just a hard fleshy thing that completely refused to grow in my bathroom. Still, the mojo sounds good - I must get mine working as well.

I saw some Xmas trees decorated solely with blue and yellow ribbons tied in bows, and they looked great, so I've brought some ribbons along. And I would have brought our old Disneylights that we had for all of my childhood - except you're already sorted for lights here. They were plain white bulbs inside coloured shades with pictures of Disney characters on them. I think they were called Disneylights because that's exactly what happens - they Disneylight.

(Try it with a Scots accent)

Well, I could run back and get them if anyone likes...

I don't think I'll be having a drink here just yet. I don't think I've recovered from yesterday's ridiculous works Xmas lunch. Thirteen hours of drinking takes its toll on a person.

But you lot go ahead...

Hi, SPINY! Happy Holidays! Yes, yucca can be quite delectable (although I'm not sure if what I'll be cooking is the same variety as what's lounging around in your bathroom!) Peel the thick skin, chop, boil rather like potatoes, though longer. Lots of garlic, lemon juice. Rather like manioc (cassava).

I put forward a question to the assembled crowd. I had two (2) small drinks last night, but feel today like I just ended a two week bender. Any suggestions on how to resolve the resultant hangover?

*Is slowly walking up the stairs, flipping through an album of events that have taken place on h2g2*

Anyone else remember h2g2 this time of year? Back before the Crater was more than a big hole in the ground with a lot of fairly damaged scientific junk? When everyday for twelve days before Christmas one of the entries on the front page was about one of the verses of the Twelve Days of Christmas? I was spending most of my time at the Aroma Cafe then. I seem to recall...playing chess and robbing the store.

*Blinks*

I need to make sure I've made that all up to Irv. Oh, BTW, I brought some contributions for the tree...

*Puts the album into a box, and takes out a few ornaments. First, he puts a stuffed koala onto the top branch of the tree (under the star)*

This is Winston. IRL, Winston is a koala ornament that clings to our tree and watches the festivities. Here on h2g2 he's...well, he's a koala ornament that will cling to the tree and watch the festivities.

*Takes out three small ornaments of obviously well to do people (kings?), each one carrying a gift*

Gaspar, Melchior, and Binky, the three wise men. It's something I did downstairs when I was bored. They come with real gold, fankincense, and myrhh, and can even double up as salt-shakers if the need should arise.

*Pulls out a small cubical box which is blinking with several lights, and puts it in on a branch*

I've got no idea what that is. I think I made it while sleepwalking, or something. But it looks pretty, so I made it into an ornament.

*Hopes it doesn't have any of the missing Crystal Lights in it*

I've had yucca, when I went to a barbeque at the home of some Venezuelans. They had served it like plain boiled potatoes, though, not with lemon and garlic. I wondered how it would come up if sliced thin, fried and breaded. Breaded and fried, I mean. But I adore black beans and rice with pork. I was going to do a roast pork with sauerkraut, but as it happens I have black beans on hand. Do you have a recipe to share?

And I'm glad you're feeling better!

SPINY, hang the Disneylights (I got it already) to frame the butler's hatch. They won't have to compete with the other ornaments.

Affi, I love the koala. But this other little thing... is it supposed to hum?

Last Christmas... ah yes, I had houseguests IRL. I had just got over what turned out to be my first bout of pneumonia, between Thanksgiving and Chirstmas, and I had company all the way through New Year's. So I don't think I was here much at all. Now I'll probably log in a few times during the day!

CHRISTMAS FRUITCAKE RECIPE
--------------------------

You'll need the following:
1 C water, 1 tsp. baking soda
1 C sugar, 1 C brown sugar
4 large eggs, lemon juice
2 C dried fruit, nuts
1 tsp. salt, 1 FULL bottle of your favorite whiskey

Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the
whiskey again to be sure that it is of the highest quality. Pour one
level cup and drink. Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat 1 C of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add 1 tsp. sugar and beat again. Make sure the whiskey is still okay.
Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer.

Break two legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry
it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the whiskey to check for
tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares.

Check the whiskey. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add
one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.

Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat
off the turner. Throw the bowl out the window. Check the whiskey again.
Go to bed. Who the heck likes fruitcake anyway??!!

I remember this time last year here at H2G2. I spent most of it at Greebo's first Chrimbo party - which lasted well into March! And they had the nifty holiday smilies.

Marv - Lots of water. It sucks, but it works. That or you can try contacting Courtesy for his hangover shake recipe.

Munchkin - That's a luverly paper chain! We used to do those too. Aw, the memories...

*sternly forces herself to focus on the positives*

This is one of the first years I can remember actually approaching X-mas with a lot of anticipation. I honestly can hardly wait until Monday. We even decorated the tree at home before my b-day! (This is a bit of a miracle. My b-day's close enough to X-mas that they always mingled when I was a kid... )

*tries some of Loony's eggnog and goes to sit on a sofa. looks a bit startled when Lil's present moves*

G7

*floating in, with an armful of Swedish handicraft straw decorations*

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These were also called 'the farmer's gold'. After last harvest of the year, with nothing much to do, in the midwinter darkness, people would start making decorations out of the straws left after separating the grains of corn. 'Gold' because they glimmer like gold, and you could also sell the decorations at the market, earning some extra money...

*dashes in, pencil held between teeth, books and papers tucked under all four arms* puts two distressed looking robins on tree*

They started as cake decorations but got promotion somewhere along the line. They're normally to be found sitting at odd angles - or even upsidedown - due to too much sherry.

You may as well have them since I am going "home" for the holidays where even Jingle Bells is considered to be subversive. No tree, no tinsel for me. And probably fish fingers for lunch on Monday.

First holiday job (as always) - mend the computer at home. If I manage that I'll be online. If not, see you all next week. Happy holidays. love, Amy

Merry Christmas, Amy!

Matina, a Y please... and the champagne bottle, please...

*picks up Springie for a cuddle*

Happy Holidays, Amy!

*looks at the tree, which is shaping up to be quite lovely*

What a good idea that was, Lil. This way we get to see different traditions.

G7

I hope Amy is able to come online while she's home. Somehow, I see her as sufficiently resourceful to make even a steam driven PS/2 do what she wills it to do.

Thank you Gw7en, but we should thank everybody for participating. Look how even Munchkin has got involved! And there is room for more!

And we need more Christmas haiku!

*goes off to look at the farmers' gold*