h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

MARTHA STEWART'S TRESPASSING
Richard Anderson was taking a group of women home from a bachelorette
party in a rented limo when he took a wrong turn down a dirt road and
stumbled onto the private property of one Martha Stewart. Not even the
built-in minibar could make up for what happened next.

As he approached Stewart's Seal Harbor, Maine, residence, Anderson had
thought he had wandered into the home section of a K-mart, but then got the fright of his life. Stewart saw the intruders and immediately called the cops, then jumped in her car and blocked his limo with her vehicle. It should be noted, though, that Anderson got off easier than previous trespassers who she immobilized by glue-gunning them into a net of solid baby's breath. Stewart then verbally assaulted Anderson, though in a hushed, warm rasp that soothed rather than frightened him.

According to her rep, Allyn Magrino, the domestic dominatrix "cherishes" her privacy, and even crafted a satin-lined keepsake box out of pinecones to hold it in.

The unhappy homemaker's latest project is, and we're not making this up, a CD called "Martha Stewart Living's Spooky Scary Sounds for Halloween," which can be used to scare away trick-or-treaters with bloodcurdling tracks like, "You Little S**t, I Said I Wanted My Coffee LIGHT!"

Matina, a Y please...

*picks up you-know-what from you-know-where and sits down to cuddle you-know-who*

[Amy]

*awakens suddenly*

Ah, g'morning everyone.

*glances at watch*

Or should l say afternoon...

l'm off to go, by turns, enjoy this lovely sunny Sawhain (l know l spelt that wrong) and pout over the fact that l haven't been able to get Slipknot tickets for their show tonight
(picture that if you will, Mike. A Halloween show...)

And l suppose l should probably go to class at some point as well, l suppose...
Til later, all!

*nips out the door*

[P]

*walks in...*
*...sees no one due to not reading the backlog...*
*...leaves his special caling card...*
*...and walks out again...*

[PCT]

*pours herself another Y of you-know-what*

*the funny calling card deactivates, because the Professor sadly has no more time...*

*comes into the salon via the service lift, carrying her shoes, a VPB and a thick coil of shigarope*

Hi anybody! I need to take a bath and get some fresh clothing. I'll be back out in a bit.

*wanders in, dressed as a Renaissance lady*

I will simply never understand fully how women sat comfortable with this much fabric!

In keeping with the times, I'd like a Y of mead please, Matina. Thank you.

*looks longingly at the various chairs, then settles in to lean in a corner*

G7

*comes back to the salon wearing her favorite exotic garb, a sari. This one is nile green with a border of gold filigree*

Oh Gw7en! Look how, er, wide you are! Why don't you pull one of the dining chairs into an open space near the sofas? they don't have any arms.

Matina, the mead sound like a nice idea. I'll have some, too.

*bounds in, towing a little red wagon filled with several pumpkins of varying sizes, colours and shapes*

Did someone mention mead?

*looks gratefully at Lil*

Thank you! Having this much fabric to drag around is good exercise, at least... Lovely sari, BTW. Do you dance?

Hi, Odra... Eeeek! Not SpookyVision!

G7

*grins*

Behave or l shall transmogrify myself into the sex-crazed cartoonified version of Kathy Lee Gifford

Now you're just trying to scare me. Here, have a Y of mead.

G7

Ah, thank you.

Mm. Cheers all.

Pity l have to dash off in a bit for class...it's ungodly cold out and it's an astronomy lab, so l get to spend three hours on top of a windy, exposed hill...

*shivers involuntarily and clutches mead*

I have to go away for about 3 hours and give candy to strangers. But I'll definitely be back. Actually, Gw7en, why not just pre-empt one of the sofas. Sit in the middle and let those side pieces have the other cushions.

Odra, I adore that name change

* sits down with a length of shigarope and begins to unravel the strands and restring them*

*polishes off mead*
Shall be back myself, all...

*gives a theatrical stage bow*

*which segues into a double back flip*

*shapeshifts into a flock of bats and soars through the french doors, over the veranda and into the night sky*

Now that is talent!

*settles on a sofa with her Y*

Ah, yes, much more comfortable...

G7

[Kasia]