h2g2 - A Conversation for LIL'S ATELIER

95Xth Conversation at Lil's

Post 1

Asteroid Lil - Offstage Presence Started conversation Nov 9, 2008

Welcome to the Atlelier! You have just wandered into the longest running conversation on the BBC's multi-petalled website. If you haven't yet done so, please check our forum page, A304354 , and find out what sort of thing we are.

Great thanks to all our scribes, who volunteered early and enthusiastically to record a part of the previous conversation. It means a lot to all the salonistas to have an initial point of reference for every thread, saving us all the enormous task of seeking information LED by LED. For the work you did in the 94Xth conversation, Chloe has a gift basket for each of you: it contains a tee shirt (goo-colored, with "Atelier Scribe 94X" over the left breast); a bottle of your favorite libation; a black moleskine notebook, and a copy of The Meaning of Liff by DNA.

And so to the scribing itself. The first 180 posts were recorded by Happy Nerd, who speaks as follows:-

These prompt Salonistas arrived by the first LED:
logicus tracticus philosophicus,
Montana Redhead,
Hypatia,
Gw7en,
Titania,
minichessemouse,
Marv the Grate,
space*cadette*,
Magwitch,
Bald Bloke,
Witty Moniker,
lostmonalisa, and
Santragenius V.

More Salonistas followed:
FG
egon
IrvWash
Z
Mysterious Stranger
WanderingAlbatross
br. Todaymueller
Lentilla
Agapanthus
Good Doctor Zomnker
Amy Pawloski
Ben
KnockedUpKelli
Phil
KerrAvon
Beatrice
LibrarianPear
Mol
Happy Nerd, and
The Sun and the Star.

Logicus nabbed post 42. As usual.

Topics included onsite childcare, cheese, music, bands with phony accents, a vacuumer who makes house-calls (with FG volunteering for the task), reading Anathem, driving tests, eyesight, and the follies of micromanagement. In doggy news, Speak lost his puppy teeth and found some big dog teeth. Three cheers - Gw7en's biopsy was negative for cancer. A backward driving maneuver dealt Z a temporary reversal.

We now hear from Santragenius, whose notes we give below:-

Not for the first time in history, the Salon seems busy to some. Which leads others to remember the 'gold rush' of postings in the early days... And to top off nostalgia (which, admittedly, isn't what it used to be), Ben links to Google of the year 2001... And if that isn't enough nostalgia for one thread, Ti later thinks back to the days where shouts of "köttbullar" (meat balls, Swedish variety) was the order of the day for rebel Nordic researchers.

Further on driving tests - is there a scientific connection between number of attempts and having to reverse round corners?

Teuchter appears from China, walks on The Wall and is relieved from the blue pants by late(r) comers. Deep-fried scorpions?

Marv interviews

lapislazuli enters and is welcomed, upon which lml starts us off on time zones and how to conquer them. Is GMT mean or just average?

Happy Nerd's brings home a . On opening the window, it takes off like a bat out of.... and while the conversation turns into a panto (Oh no, it doesn't!), we get a hello from Mol asking for size 16 blue pants - which it turns out she may not need anyway...

Lil then issues a pre-Halloween costume warning, considerate hostess that she is , while the Sun gasps in surprise over the gasmen making a not quite expected but much asked-for appearance.

Marv starts an interviewing series that is to continue at intervals through the conversation and out of the corner of one eye the quick ones spot Afgncaap5 - most likely setting a record in how short an appearance needed for acquiring Blue Itchy Pants™.

Now it is the turn of Amy Pawloswki, Paper Lady:

The weekend begins!
But Z is stuck working.
minichessemouse is a roadie.
Irv arrives in Lincoln.
Links in the previous section are appreciated--at least by those who can get to them...
Baggy can't decide whether he ranted or not Which leads to a discussion of placebos and homeopathy in general.
Should taglines be added to names to make donning costumes easier, or is that cheating?
Tod's phone box returns--this time with a Ford Fiesta.
Weather is discussed, strangely enough.
After a flying visit, and rooming with a (maybe), Irv turns homeward.
Todaymueller points out how small the world is...
Mr. Dreadful stops in.
As does tartaronne.
Irv arrives home safely.
More weather.
A number sense quiz.
Brain cells, apparently cute... (Went back later, after catching up (computer trouble over the weekend, and the Salonistas had been talkative) and yes, they are cute!)
Freelancers renting workspace.
Santra's life is still... interesting. Though his workplace is good!
Lady C You will be missed.
d'E declares others free of the Seuss Pants, and provides a link to Lady C's last visit.(other than calling cards)
A history lesson for younger Salonistas.
Irv brings in the IIEM from the Cafe.
Laws of Continuity are brought up.
David flies in, saves d'E from the Seuss Pants, and announces that he has been a very busy bird, in a very good way.
Titania provides a link to U705213, further convincing Amy P that the wallpaper imitation is a *good* idea!

And now, for posts 541-1000, we need only listen to Wandering Albatross:

The recently rediscovered IIEM continued to be a hit dispensing various and wonderful brews.

Ag fought the dreaded lurgey and the ethics of taking it to work or not.

Lentilla brewed up cranberry wine in memory of Lady C and Tod brewed moonshine.

Following David B’s example Gw7en started hunting for SO’s with names beginning with J and preferably 25 years old.

Ben reminisced about missing the beginning of h2g2 but pleaded a busy schedule and took herself off for a little Shakespeare, fortified with cat trapped bunnies. She cured herself of a bad dose of wind affecting her router but then forgot to save her work and had to start all over. Repeat after me “I must save my work”.

Kelli loaded both barrels in anticipation of a meeting with her Human Remains department and Kerr suggested a novel way of recruiting staff. The dreaded lurgey than laid Kelli low. I hope she didn’t catch it from HR.

Teuchter continued her tour of China and brought back memories of SOAP and took a trip on the fabulously cheap and efficient Beijing subway.

Lil succumbs to the lack of therms and murked the waters surrounding her mysterious interests, but fills a void by being taught basic English and she’s got a cestifecat to prove it..

WA passed on plans for fish and chip shops to be installed in libraries and our many librarian friends looked down their collective glasses, with “that look”, We got a full on librarian lecture by Ag as to why the idea would never catch on but silence was sort of golden when it came to noises and we wondered why you fell over in an anechoic chamber.

On a sad note we all took ourselves over to Hyp’s to light a candle for Lady C to guide her on her next journey.

David B introduced us to Digg a cool site that rates on-line content and Ben had a little poke at T’Bank’s declining output.

Tod was prodded sternly by MR to get himself to the doctor to sort out his mysterious burning smell, he could have been spontaneously combusting, but his defence was a new black hoody and MR was getting all excited about hanging out with D and doing loads of stuff including Terra Cotta Warriors and Disneyland.

Egon got us all going on weird words including scaphocephaly, antediluvian, eldritch, sesquipedalian, apothecary, an, tintinabulation, gaminem, orthogonal, feculent and susurrus.

D’E went shopping for a mattress and we discussed the benefits of pillow-top versus memory foam but ended up sleeping with the dog.

Ben put on her muses hat and mused about the banking crisis.

Teuchter returned from her travels in China with a large jet lagging behind her and no panda pics.

Kelli recovered and began to cull her books but struggled for a depository for the culled. Would it be recycle or freecycle. Neither; the retired folks down the road got them.

Beatrice celebrated her birthday with lobster and Chablis and booked
a trip to China to be eclipsed.

Lil entertained an Irish Fiddler and finally got the courthouse heating working but them darn visitors keep letting that good ole warm straight out through the door.

Amy asked to borrow David’s J to help move apartment and got the first ultrasound pics of her new bump.

Baggers tried bicycle acrobatics but couldn’t perfect the landing.

Z had his study cap on to try and pass his MRCP and his driving test.

Witty’s daughter bagged a job in Manhattan

Santra continued on his travels and went elephant, rhino and lots of other safari beast spotting in Jo’burg. A welcome day off in the middle of business.

Titania jammed up her brain on a new sys admin course.

Hyp had to rearrange her house to accommodate the family for Thanksgiving.

Mr Dreadful emerged from emotional turmoil and worried us about what he had done.

Mags’s move fell through.

Then chaos ensued when everybody donned their Halloween costumes, thanks Irv, and your scribe had to start peeping under costumes to see who was talking. However being a gentleman he politely averted his eyes when he spotted Ag and Hyp donning their thongs.

minichessemouse provides a concise precis of posts 1001-1250:

This section of conversation started with witty in new jersey, but quickly turned to the topic of undergarments, both of the buttfloss and scaffolding varieties. Even the boys joined in, telling us their preference for boxers or Y-fronts.
We moved seamlessly from underwear to pyjamas. We discover that Irv has a possible admirer, and Ag told us an amusing satin sheet story which prompted us to talk about the qualities of different fabrics. We somehow got to the topic of the science of sleeping naked! Which became a topic of conversation for a while also.

Then we moved on to discussing changing clocks and decongestants suitable for breastfeeding mums. We discovered that MR had degenerative disc disorder and sent her gentle hugs. Marv had an interview and the salon filled with viral singing. We discussed alarm clocks and Gwnethy joined us in the salon.

It is now the turn of Sun-Star (aka Solnushka) for posts 1251-1600:

Welcome! to Welly Star Kkof, whose real name will be revealed after Halloween.

News

Marv’s interview goes well and we wish him luck for the next week.
Runescribe is rechristened and bows to the inevitable by donning a Halloween costume which caters to anyone’s possible misspelling of her name.
We revisited Bagpuss’ researchers’ map: A5076614.
Amy launches the Amy P Sweepstakes thread F19585?thread=286866&latest=1.
The imminent return of Lil’s J is hoped for.
Hyp experiences casting problems with her performance art and takes on the role of a tall male retired army captain in disguise as a librarian skirt with a twin set and sensible shoes.
Beatrice goes to a minimeet.
Irv’s photocopier breaks.
MR Ws not impressed by Max Payne.
We count down to Z’s MRCP by presenting symptoms.
We fess up to our occupations.
David’s life takes on a permanently nautical theme with an upcoming role in Titanic! and then Pirates of Penzance as Major General Stanley.

Topics

The extent of the Salonistas’ WoW experience and other online games.
The… eclectic nature of the Atelier’s conversation topics.
Alarm clocks.
The weather.
Gentleman’s Relish.
Hennning Mankell.
Girls’ names beginning with ‘A’, names for Amy P’s baby and (baby) names more generally.
Saffron pancakes.
The ever expanding backlog.
The weather.
Weapons of Unusual Names (WUN) beginning with Runscrape… sorry, Runescribe’s Hammer of Smiting and continuing through: the Crossbow of Trepanning, the Hammer of Sleepytime, the Pokey Stick of Annoyance, the Letter Opener of Feeling Inadequate, the Thorn of Thought-Provoking, the Mace of Mindfulness, the Flail of Frustration, the Mace of Face, the Dagger of Shivving You In The Back, the Cosh of Forgetfulness, the Toothpick of Minor Distraction, the Thumbtack of Thwartiness, the Net of Concentration, the Darts of Distraction, the Thread of Thespianism, the Teatray of Terror, the Kneepads of Persuasion .
Meetings.
Ties, otherwise known as Demon Chains.
Socks.
Jokes which fall flat.
The horror or pride of turning into our mothers (and fathers).
The weather.

No idea what Ben was doing or saying as still can’t see her posts.

And remember, nobody expects Thespianish Inquisition.

lostmonalisa brings us the post sequence from 1601-1900:

This patch was a little difficult to follow, as many of the salonistas had their Halloween costumes on. Consequently, you may not recognize them. Some of them are very very good. Then, to add to my confusion, halfway through my scribing, people took off their costumes. Sigh.

The section started off with “Welly Star Kkof”, a new member of the salon, introducing him/herself as someone who eschewed formal education. This led to other salonistas describing their various occupations and interests, their frustration/satisfaction with same. It was noted that several salonistas are still waiting to grow up. For those not happy with what they’re doing, their positive attributes were pointed out, lots of friendly support given as can only happen in the Salon. I think it can be safely said that, for the most part, fellow salonistas care little about the letters behind ones name, but more about who you are. Thusly said, said qualifications, occupations, letterology will not be repeated here, because in the long run, it just doesn’t matter. Simple needs, like B€N says “I guess all I want from life is that I shouldn't be bored, assuming food, warmth, shelter and a serious book-habit are all taken care of”. Welly offered himself up for employment as a houseboy or whatever else needed to be done. “Escalated Cat Puppet” feels he/she hasn’t grown up yet, but there is time, despite a late start. “Ace Coo of Shiv” was offered the “golden key”, flattered by the offerers faulty opinion of his intelligence.

“A reinstated hippy” wanted some advice in getting her s/o into long pants. Seems he has an aversion to covering up his knees, despite the falling temperatures. She received various suggestions, from ignoring his choice of dress, to no suggestion at all. Commiserations were also given, from those who have similarly inclined spouses.

The resident nonexampassing physician, “Z”, is disappointed that too many people are getting treated for syphilis, which has made all those cool symptoms too rare for his liking. His diagnostic capabilities were tested, hailed and abused by the salonistas. This led to a discussion about the similarities (intended or otherwise) between the tv doc House and Sherlock Holmes. Which led to a discussion on how behind people are on their tv watching. Is that the epitome of procrastination or what? Lil says that she’s cutting off that source of procrastination, presumably so she can give the Salon more attention than she already does. And this conversation led back to people telling Z that there is no substitute for studying, that he’ll get there eventually, and buck up you’ll get there someday. Much support was given with regard to Z’s anxieties about being a real doctor, all on his own. We received an invitation to Montana Redhead’s beheading. Or hooding. I was confused. Remember, experience is the best teacher, giving a man a fish lets him eat, but if you get him a rod, he can sell it on ebay, and buy some fish and chips on the corner. (thank you, Welly Star Kkof, for that bit of teaching)

Some of us want to know what happens if we push the button on the big orange chair (minichessemouse/seismic houseman especially) (apologies if I’ve spelled it wrong)

“Recording Dog Knot Zoom” successfully requested a backlog pass, giving the excuse that he was busy asking for J’s parents permission to matty J. This caused a bit of confusion, people wondering how he was going to matt her, with all the 3D’ness, and wishing him good luck with all the mattying and all. People are quite excited about the prospect of a mattige, and he was given lots of congratulations about his engatement. “Ravekron” wondered whether mattying had to do with Francis Urquhart and a House of Cards. This is apparently very obscure and crude. I don’t get it. Granting Vino Wish says “Mattiage. Mattiage is what brings us togetter totay. Tat blesstet arraintment. That tream within a tream” And Ace coo of shiv says “"Then wuv, twue wuv, will fowow you, whereevah..."

The conversation about how much we end up turning into our parents was continued. It seemed that physicality was easier to take than taking on of bad habits/idiosyncracies. It was interesting to note how many of the salonistas had difficulty with their mothers. Or how they had difficult with us.

“Teeth Cur” happily informed the salon that Mr. T was due home soon, and that her new domestic IT situation was in some ways good (cool alarm clock) and not good in others (difficult mouse)

“Tribe ace” popped in to say hello from Bristol airport, in between flights on the way home. “Ace coo of shiv” popped in regularly for . “Rat bum yodeller” dropped by as well. Daphne Fry noted that she had slogged through a bit of backlog and said hi to everyone.

For some reason, B€N got an enthusiastic hello from “Art Tenth Sunshade”, it appears that B€N’s disguise was so good she wasn’t recognized.

We learned that “thus a pagan’s” ideal day involved a lot of solitude, writing, and coffee. No hovering at all. Lil’s perfect day would last about 3 weeks. I don’t know if that’s allowed. Hers involved painting, and MR’s perfect day included lots of pampering. Ben’s included lots of unstructured stuff.

Apparently the time change occurred during this leg of postings, and “Wandering albatross” noted that his dogs were also affected, having to wait an hour longer for their morning ablutions. It also made “Basspug” late for the train, while other people used the extra hour to catch up on sleep. “Cuvy” had a frustrating weekend with busses rather than trains. “Yosmos” doesn’t like leaving work when its dark already, while the his latitude means that “savager in nuts” still leaves work before sundown. Lostmonalisa hasn’t changed time yet, Canada is in tune with the US, and that happens a bit later. Why can’t we just leave things as they are, like Saskatchewan. (this led to some talk about what the heck is in Saskatchewan, anyway. Lots of nothing, and a man with a cornfield proposal) We were provided with a mental image of “wandering albatross” walking the dogs with a head torch, and railing against the Scottish dairy farmers for causing all this trouble. Apparently “Granting Vino Wish” doesn’t like mornings, so went back to bed till it wasn’t morning anymore, and “Lardiest oil” had her car serviced by aliens.

“A reinstated hippy” dragged out her soapbox to extol all the reasons why libraries should be more business oriented and get with the times to serve the public better, but did not discount all the valuable work done by librarians.

The expected complaining about the price of gas occurred, comparing of prices and teaching of how to calculate how many litres in a gallon.

“Granting Vino Wish”gave us an update on his waitress flirting. Didn’t happen this weekend, but now he’s got a new obsession, but he’s playing his cards close to the vest so as not to jinx it. We’ll stay tuned.

Minichessemouse told us of a conversation on hootoo that was supposed to be about history, but turned silly. That’s odd, isn’t it?

“A reinstated Hippy” told us about the corner gas station, Kum ‘n go, which name, in the salonista’s opinion is not well thought out. “Ace coo of shiv” told us about the “Screw and Bolt” which had to be changed to the “Bolt and Screw, which was thought to be a little backwards. The come back of snoods was discussed, Ben generously shared one of hers with Magwitch, which was exactly the right shade of purple.

Marv the Grate told the Salon about his upcoming interview, and of course was wished lots of luck.

Tony Hillerman (who was NOT in Princess Bride) died and also David Foster Wallace, someone noted, via the onion. Princess Bride fans and not-fans and people who had never seen it (Ben, seriously WTH???) came out of the woodwork, its merits and demerits were noted. Other favourite movies were quoted and virtues extolled. Conversations about books also happened, with lots of people seeming to have ‘to be read’ lists that are clearly unmanageable in one’s natural lifetime. Stieg Larrsson, Andrew Davidson, Margaret Mitchell (really, Irv?? A pocket copy of GWTW??), Richard Morgan, Good Omens, Serenity, Anathem were some books/authors that were praised. Neal Stephenson was both reviled and revered. Book rebranding was discussed and laughed about.

Coke Killed Punk asked for advice with regard to T’boy’s social life. And was given some ‘I dunno’s’ and some actual advice. Do what is right for you and T’boy, I think, is what the prevailing sense of things was.

Teeth Cur expressed that she was lucky to leave his employment when she did, as it was just getting worse. Seems they have no paddles left, and the water is getting high.

Rat Bum Yodeller slogged through more backlog to drop in and say hi.

And we ended with a question from “Savager in nuts” about how many states there are in the US.

It remains for your hostess to recapitulate the final part of the conversation:

As the final leg of the conversation opens, salonistas are wondering how many states and "possessions" the United States has, and strong opinions are being aired about the works of Neal Stephenson.

Yugoslavian expatriates make good pizza in Sweden.

Sol's Significant Other gets British citizenship.

Librarian Pear changed her name to Bookmouse because she found it more euphonious and comforable.
Z's handle becomes enigmatic, impossible to apply a truth value to.
Halloween passes and salonistas return to unscrambled names.
Pheroneous, former publican of the BOF Inn, arrives in the salon and is warmly welcomed by old-timers, and introduced to newer salonistas.
Vip also appears, falling out of mode to join the chat.
Gw7en develops an eye problem and is persuaded to see her doctor. It turns out well.
Loftyskywalker enters for the first time, out of costume, and gets a second welcome from the more confused of us.
American politics gradually bleeds into the conversation from the Back Room, as the presidential election draws near.
Marv and Lil both have job interviews.
Pregnant salonistas have coat dilemmas.
Sol has a birthday, and then so does Lil.
The salonistas celebrate Guy Fawkes Day with a barbeque, a bonfire and fireworks. Runescribe and Pheroneous have interesting accidents with their home-made fireworks.

Ag gets her MA!

Topics of discussion:

Asian Food, and what's meant by 'Asian' according to where you're from
Is the internet really anonymous any more?
websites that match you with someone else and the role of heteronormativity
pockets on women's jeans
the consequences of over-using OTC painkillers
sorting one's book collection (by color?? )

BABY SWEEPSTAKES
When will Kelli's baby arrive? Salonistas placed their bets as follows:

lostmonalisa: Nov 29th, 9lbs, 2oz
Witty: 9:55 am on December 1, 9 lb 11 0z
Teuchter: 9lb 8oz on 6 December
MR: 7 December, 9 lb. even
Magwitch: 10th December. Weight? 8lb 4oz
d'E: Dec 10
Sol: December 11th pm, 9lb 4oz
Kelli: 12th Dec at 0945 and 8lb 8oz
Hypatia: December 14. 10 pounds, 2 ounces
David B: 15th December and 8lb 9oz
Runescribe: 16th December at around six in the morning
Agapanthus: 17th of December, shortly after lunch, weighing 8lb 15oz
mini: 18th dec and 8pounds 7oz
Titania: 18 December and 3.5 kg
ltp: December 18th. pm and 4.2 kilos
Santra: Dec 19; 3550 g which apparently should be 7 pounds 8 ounces
Phil: 19th december, 4:30pm and weighing in at 8lb 7oz.
Mol: 20 December 10 lb.
Vip: 21st December (right on the equinox), around 4pm. Weight? About 9lb.
Gw7en: December 22
Irv: December 22nd, 8 pounds 8 ounces
Tod: Dec 23rd 7-10
FG: Christmas Eve, 9 lbs even
Z: 9lbs 4oz and on the 24th of December at 2300 approx
Lil: Boxing Day, 8 lb.
WA: 27th Dec 20:00 hrs and 10lbs 8oz.

Amy P: 28 December, 10 lbs 3 oz

And so here we are, gathered for the start of thread 95X. The ashtrays are clean, the samovar has been started afresh, and the IIEM gleams mischievously in the corner by the butler's hatch. Thanks to the IIEM Matina has more time for other work, and so we have both cinnamon buns and mbougatses to go with our drinks.

Please make yourselves at home!