h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I thought the office of the deputy PM was in place for Images That You Do Not Want In Your Mind.

When I grow up I wanna be windswept and interesting. Oh, I already am.

Wait, no, are we talking about. Nyuh, I think I'll come back later.

There's a great song from the musical 'Snoopy!!!' (sorry, all three exclamation marks are part of the title) on the subject of things you wish you'd known when you were smaller. Cute things like "I know now that your bodyisn't leaking when you cry" and "I know now that you can’t trade a bike for a brother" jostle with quite sad things like "I know now that you can’t pack your troubles in any kit bag that’s made." It's called 'I Know Now' for some reason...

I've *never* had to accompany people to the loo at my library. And I sincerely hope I never have to...

Incidentally, if anyone wants to visit the Library of Doom, you have two and a half years to do so. We're allegedly moving into a new building by December 2008.

Ooh, look at the herd of swine whizzing past my window...

>Ooh, look at the herd of swine whizzing past my window...

You get them too? They've been doing flypasts all day here. Could hardly hear what the local council bod was trying to tell me.

I've learned that "home" is not a place, but a state of mind or .

I wish I'd known that I was slim and beautiful. Compared to what I've become, anyway.

Belated birthday for Ag.

Can't slag off the ODPM too much myself, cos I've a feeling that's the government department that funds my job. But hey, means they can't be *all* bad. I'm surprised a development of that size got through on appeal, though, if the local planning authority had put forward a half-decent case for refusal. Two appeals where *I* was putting the case against the development were turned down .

They've discovered at work that I know quite a bit about the planning system, so I've been allocated a few planning cases. One of my tasks yesterday was to work out the average height of an approved planting scheme, and then the average height of the scheme that had actually been planted there. The difference was considerable. How on earth can *anybody* think that planting potentilla is going to have the same screening effect as planting a holly hedge? The mind boggles.

Anyway, I discovered on reading The Times today that I have been conducting an emotional affair with ... everybody in the Salon . I'm not sure what to do about this. Apparently, the effects of an emotional affair are more damaging to a relationship than the effects of a physical one. So I think if I everybody that might make it OK. Would you mind forming an orderly queue?

Mol

One of the Buddhists who used to hang out with my Ma and Pa when I was a wee thing told Ma that I had been a Tibetan princess in a previous life. A conceit only really spoilt by the fact that Tibetans don't actually have princesses. If I'm really good in this one, I hope to come back as a dolphin.

Things I wish I'd learned earlier? Languages. Just about any language, to be honest.

Had my hair cut this evening. Huge quantities lopped off. I'm not sure what it's like, because it's been dried straight. I look like the really stupid one from Slade at the moment, the one that isn't Noddy Holder. Still nothing that a shower won't deal with. I hope. If you hear the sound of sobbing from the other end of the internet, you'll know it was more serious than I thought.

Ben

Queues up to Mol!

"I can feel poop coming out of my bottom."
Standerd reply is well pop it back in then, here's a specialy designed for the job, in hand as the say a plop in the hand is worth two in the bush, persoanly think "birds or bushes in hand much better alternatives .

re Lil's post office think its carved corn cobs or potatoes rubbber stamps still not reached them yet

*joins the queue*

If I believed in reincarnation, I'd have placed dibs on a dolphin as well. Though I do like Lady C's suggestion of an otter. Hmm, it seems I have a deep-seated desire to like fish (I don't much). Knowing my luck I'd end up as a pelican...

David: << Incidentally, if anyone wants to visit the Library of Doom, you have two and a half years to do so. We're allegedly moving into a new building by December 2008.

Ooh, look at the herd of swine whizzing past my window... >>

Just a couple of questions, David --


When the Library of Doom moves, will the ducks be moving with it?

and

Just what did you mean by the terms "whizzing" and "swine"? ...

SC

How could I forget the avian population? I shall have to ask about the ducks. And the moorhens (currently nesting). And will have to make sure there's something that leaks and some unstable bits and pieces. It just wouldn't be the same in a clean, safe, ultra-modern, bird-free environment. The current problem (in addition to my accidental vandalism yesterday) is the lighting, which likes to fail in a random room every Friday afternoon. Generally the video room (or Media Resources), but not always. Always on Friday, though.

[GDZ]

[Bagpuss - too busy playing new (old) computer games]

I bet my swine are whizzing more copiously than your swine! "Those who violate the law - including a member of Congress - should and will be held to account," [President Bush] said. "This investigation will go forward and justice will be served."

What do you think he is talking about? No, not Tom DeLay. No, not Scooter Libby, nor Duke Cunningham, or Abramoff. Words fail me. Here are somebody else's: http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/national/1151AP_Raid_on_Congress.html

I was prepared to maintain my cynical defenses indefinitely until he said that.


Birdie just came in, flopped to the floor, and is panting like a dog. Hot day.

[fg]

My book came from England. "Walking the Cathedral Cities of England." I have reading material for the evening.

Oh. The second season of Little Britain was funny, but not quite as good as the first season. I enjoyed it though.

A happy evening. I knocked on a neighbour's door to ask if they would feed the cats on Sunday and Paul said "no problem" and came out to admire the view, smoke a cigarette and chat. Then David turned up, and Paul offered produced some Cinzano and Lemonade. So we lit a bonfire and drank Paul's Cinzano and Lemonade. Paul got some wood. I got some wood. We drank my rum, and Jane and Johnny turned up.

http://www.agirlcalledben.co.uk/Bonfire/photos/photo1.html and following....

And now it is late, my kidneys are cold though my face is warm, and I'm off to bed. I have a horrible feeling it might be tricky getting up in the morning though.

Ben

[Sol]

[GDZ]

Mornin All,

Wake up Ben, WAKE UP, sorry about shouting, nice pics you get some great results from that phone.

I'm happy being a grown up Albatross. It's just a bit tricky these days with all those illegal long liners but I give them a wide berth. Lots of my mates have gone that way though Still, wing tipping around the Southern Ocean is a very peaceful, contemplative way of life and I'm quite content thank you. Hmm, I wonder what I was in a prvious existence.