h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*...Tatty, who has forgotten what it said*

Oh dear...

*falls to his knees and holds the paper up, whereupon, it is taken by...*

*...Pan who realises he's given them the wrong paper*

*Seven-of-Up wakes up in Engineering - in the correct dimension (he thinks)*

hhmm interesting - walls melting into ice cream and not a spoon or even an evil, defective ice cream van driver in sight!!!

Where is everybody???

*Uses communicator to contact whoever can pick up the signal*



E, Checkout, Croz, ANYONE...

What was that?? Sounds like someone's shouting the recipe of donuts into the donut communicator...

*takes a look around but can't see anyone using communicator*

Who's this and what did you say about donuts??

I don't know... So, who is going to read the paper and tell us what we have to do?

Ok, let me see it.

*Takes paper*

These seem to be folding instructions ...

*Works for a few minutes folding the paper this way and that.*

There. It's an origami starship.

*Pan snatches the origami starship away.*

Pan: Damn. Wrong paper again.

Perhaps the test is finding the right paper...

*Pan is seen searching a pile of papers for the right one.*

Pan: Not this one, nor this or this... No, not this...

*E whispers to the rest of the crew*

Perhaps we can just knick off while he's looking for the right test...

*Pan is slowly getting buried by all the papers been rejected and thrown all around the place.*

*A great explosion rocks the ship*
The bridge is filled with smoke, slowly it clears to reveal a human, he is medium height, in some kind of ancient terran uniform, and with a rather large and self satisfied, smug look on his face. He begins to speak:
"I am the all powerful and all arrogant super entity known only as 'Q amitapetalunanunprenounceablelonelybedwettingsadomasacisticcynicismproblimaticaldisrigardforprivacyandlackofconsciencedeepbreathbob.' You may call me Marigold.
I've decided to show a complete lack of ethics and put the multi-verse in a great deal of danger, just so I can call you names and zap you into strange locations dressed in Robin Hood costumes. You'd think i'd have better things to do, wouldn't you! But I don't, you try and think of things to do when your the ultimate in intelligence! Besides, there are too many pieces missing from the monopoly board.
I see your in the middle of trying to work out your orders. Perhaps I can help.

Not THE IMFAMOUS Q amitapetalunanunprenounceablelonelybedwettingsadomasacisticcynicismproblimaticaldisrigardforprivacyandlackofconsciencedeepbreathbob?

The very same! Cower in fear for I am the almighty big-headed!

*Checkout *really* wants to go home*
OK, um.. er.. Marigold, well... (voice trails off)
*Under his breath*
I never got the hang of this pan-dimensional forum...

Look, just get us out of here & we'll sort it all out later...

I'm still trying to work out if it is a suacepan dimension or frying pan dimension.

So, hang on, we've got U and Pan and Marigold now? Are you ALL Pan Dimension beings? Or perhaps we just need a pair of Marigolds to wash up this Pan...

Anyway. If you can get us out of here, Marigold, and back on track, basically away from this bizarre Alice In Wonderland that SOMEONE came up with because they wanted to write another song parody... then please, do so. We've got to get back to the mission. And back to having some sense of purpose. So that the forum picks up again. Please?

Pan: Yes, yes. All of you get out of here. Look at the mess you have made of my papers. That's the last time I bring simple tri-dimension beings to my dimension.

*Pan waves his hand and the surroundings slowly blur and go wavy. Just before everyone throws up, the surroundings settle down again, but are now the bridge of the Esirpretne.*

http://www.h2g2.com/forumframe.cgi?forum=37895&thread=50020