h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Anyone thirsty yet?

Aggers: Good afternoon, and welcome to Sabina Park in Jamaica, and do we have an interesting evening's cricket in store for you! After literally days of keen anticipation, the Anne Robinson SuperSeries is about to get under way. The winners will walk away with up to £100,000 - the losers, of course, will leave with nothing.

The line-ups are interesting, to say the least. On the one side are a team of international stars selected by Mu Beta of h2g2 fame. The likes of Pietersen, Sangakkarra, Afridi and Malinga form the core of an impressive-looking side - so good, in fact, that Ricky Ponting is carrying the drinks. He's wearing rather a scowl today, you might say. Chris Gayle captains the team on his home soil.

Pitted against them are a side of complete unknowns. Bill has been busy trying to find records of any of them having played in the past, and I gather has drawn something of a blank. All we of them is from the warm-up we just saw them go through; a team of men in rather less than prime condition hitting cricket balls to one another with a can of lager in their spare hand.

It should be a fascinating contest.

Chris Gayle has won the toss and put the Cavaliers in to bat. Play begins in five minutes.

You can view our live scorecard at A45362603.

Well, I would quite have liked the choice of who to put in, but I'd have fielded first in any case.

Do you need me to select bowlers?

B

Over 1 (23-0): An astonishing start, as 75-year-old Ernie Blagden hooks Malinga's first ball for six, drives the second, a fullish delivery, back past the bowler for four then third ball repeats the hook for six. Seven runs come off the last three balls of the over; Ernie keeps the strike.

I wasn't going to get you to do that, B, but you can if you like. I was going to let Gayle make those decisions for you. Up to you, anyway.

I was going to open with Broad and Morkel, but I'll take Broad and Malinga for the first four overs.

B

Over 2 (38-0): Broad gets off to a tight start, but it doesn't last. Fifth ball, a top edge sails over the slip for a fortuitous six, and Blagden jnr completes a frustrating over for Broad by somehow guiding the final ball past third man for another four. Encouraging start for the Cavaliers.

Economy: 23.00

Young's Christmas Pudding Ale: A very fruity ruby-coloured beer, perhaps more cakey than puddingy. Went nicely with dinner - so nicely that nobody else had more than a taste of it.

Ah. What I assumed were five different beers have actually turned out to be three different beers with two repeats. But anyway...

All are from the Tom Woods brewery, and we're starting with the Harvest Bitter. Pale and cloudy, very gassy to pour and some sediment that I wasn't expecting - not a great start.

There's a touch of sweet honey on the nose, but disappointingly little flavour. 'Watery' would be the best word.

Not a lot more to say than that.

/5

B

Oh and I should mention it's 5.5% abv.

Others waiting to head to the crease: Santa's Skinful (4.0%, Three B's Brewery), Good Elf (4.9%, Thwaites).

Over 3 (43-2): Nice tight over from Malinga, until a wild swing from Blagden jnr overbalances the batsman and leaves him on the ground, well out of his crease, and Sangakkarra makes a comfortable and humorous stumping. Cahill then misses a straight one and is lbw first ball. Looks like a different game now.

That's a bit more like it. We like humourous stumpings.

Keep Malinga on for his allocation of four overs then please.

B

Over 4 (60-3): Oh dear, oh dear. Some good running against Broad, and a six and a four from new man Ryder to boot, but Broad gets in inswinger to trap the batsman on the back foot. Over-aggression from the cavaliers at the moment. Ernie is still there on 35.

We'll have Morkel on for Broad next please.

B

Over 5 (76-3): The hattrick ball is pushed square of the wicket for two, and the runs continue to flow. Lissenden only faces one ball, pushed for a single; Ernie hits out, hooking Malinga for yet another six and then again pushing the ball back past the bowler for four. This brings up his fifty in just 18 balls. Malinga finally gets his length right for once and has a good shout for lbw against Ernie turned down.

Ernie's doing quite well, I must say.

Santa's Skinful (4.0%, Three B's Brewery): out for a duck - the beer's gone off and tastes like seawater. Never mind.

Bomber County is next up for me.

Indecently gassy and hard to pour again, but at least this one is crystal clear and doesn't have bits floating around at the bottom of it.

It's a deep amber with roasty chestnuts on the nose, and a pleasing but not overpowering elderflower note which dissolves into a rich bitterness which lingers and makes you want to drink more. Very passable.

/5

B

Apologies, folks - the fire alarms went off here at Sabina Park, meaning we had to suspend play for a while.

Those ghosts trying to burn down your hotel again?

B