h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

(I'm from Phoenix, though this persona/character I'm playing is from medieval Scottland -- and is imortal)

BED = Big Evil Dan. Don't know where you heard BEN.

Anyway, BED, I've just been saying what a wonderfull security chief you are. Nothing gets past you. Nothing at all. By the way, you can check with Alien. I rented this hangar out legally...

~Red is fiddling behind his back with a button, which he presses to tell the shipment of illegal arms that it is not safe to dock at present, and that it should stay out of range of the station. He then drops the disposable communicator into a shaft which leads to the station heating core (it's cold in space). The communicator is burned up, and now untraceable~

So, how are things in the security buisness?

BED, BED, BED... one of my favorite places. I just jumped out. What am I saying, I wouldn't do that without having my coffee served to me by my faithfully well trained MAN servant. Great place Phoenix, I've never been, but I think it would suit me. I like it hot. Do you have a jacuzzi? That would make it perfect. The Highlander is one of my cult movies. More serendipity. Worlds of Love, JLC the TTP

[A Highlander in kilt is making saying something. A doctor comes out from under the kilt and says, "Would you please go away? I'm trying to examine this man! Actually, I'm a gynaecologist" (sp?) "but this is my lunch hour..."]

Two words, estradial valerate 40 mg, got to have it. We could make a real shady deal here. the stuff is so bloody expensive. And its hard to even get a script. I liked to stay pumped up. Can we talk

You are going to have to be a bit more descriptive. I'm not well accquainted with the merchandise in question, though I have no doubt that I could obtain some for you.

If you really are who you say you are and not just peering under a Highlander's kilt for a thrill, I am talking about the female hormone made from cow piss. I don't get anything from premarin, the new Estra-tab is OK, but my mood swings are just too sharp if I don't get some Estradial Valerate 40 mg, IM, about a half a cc every 2 weeks. The docs around here are all so paranoid about getting sued and the research that has been done linking it to uterine cancer. I don't have to worry about that since I had a hysterctomy at the age of 21. Is this more information than you needed to know. I thought I'd give it a try since we are in the Shady Deal Hanger.
Let me know...

First of all, your medical history is not my buisness. I'll see what I can do about getting you a shipment of the hormone you desire...

~The Masque turns to the computer console. BED having been absent for a while, he gives the go ahead for the shipment of arms to dock. The captain of the ship comes out with a clipboard~


Commander, we've got all the items you mentioned. We also found medical supplies on board one of the ships. Lenore has asked us to keep an eye out for medical supplies, because they are highly profitable. We found 72 different vaccines, 12 kinds of antibiotics, and several hormonal treatments


Hormonal treatments? Anything there about Estradial Valerate?


Yes, Commander, we have 160mg of Estradial Valerate on board.


Thank you, Captain, unload the arms and the medical supplies. I'm sure I can find a good home for all of it.

~the captain and his crew procede in unloading the shipment while the Masque turns back to JLC~

Well, it looks as though you're in luck. My pirates... er... acquisition agents have come across a large amount of the hormone you desire. I currently have 160mg in my possession.

/Red

[Mew appears again]

}Oh. I think the Big C is trying to track the ship you got me, Red. Could you get me seven sensor jammers?{

Mew , its you! Blast if I come unthreaded on this deal, I'll go into orbit. Is this the lying Highlander coming to Highjack my Hormones?

Red er I mean Captain, uh, dick ta tor....Don't be disuaded by Mew, he's just trying to weasel in between the pharmaceutical distributor and their client..in this case, me. I'll trade you 3 massages in the Virtual Jacuzzi Spa to close the deal. I will take those vials now.
***signing the IOU and handing it to Red she picks up the small square box and quickly exits the Hanger with her booty***

}Well, I do need the seven sensor scramblers...{

Mew, we've got those in stock, if you want to give me the co-ordinates to beam them to you


Cooridantes recieved


Thank you, Lenore


Anytime, darling.


Engage.

~Seven sensor jammers are beamed to Mew's ship, while Lenore's sensor jammers keep BED's computer from locking on to either the orgin, or the destination of the transfer~

[Mew disappears again]

~Red puts a lockdown on the security door so that the rest of the cargo can be stored without further disruption. Once the cargo is loaded off of the ship, comprising of various medical supplies (including some heavy narcotics), blaster rifles, laser pistols, a few ship mounted weapons, several suits of galactic military battle armor, and one small fighter craft, all with the governmental tracers, trackers, markings, and serial numbers removed in a proffessional manner, his supply ship takes off again, and explodes, just out of range of the station~

I've decided to rely on droid run ships from now on, unless I'm on the pirate ship myself. Droids can be programmed with an emergency memory purge, but people, unfortunatley, cannot.

~He unlocks the door and reopens for buisness~

*Notices that Hangar 41 seems to have been having more activity than usual. Affy decides to check in on Red*

Hey, Red. Don't worry, I'm not a super hero now. I'm on a vacation from that. So, what's been going on here?

*Notcies several strange looking devices. He examines several of the weapons, ships, and materials in the hangar*

Red, this stuff is illegal! I mean, I know you're a villain, Red, but this is heavy! I always considered you as more of the type of villain who has flunkies who do this, while you do the important stuff! I mean...hey, is this a Darctarian Battle Suit? I've been meaning to incorporate some of there technology with my battle suit at CLI.

*Nervously glances around*

Okay, Red, here's an offer: in exchange for this suit, I won't report you to Chrome and BED, and I'll let your next purchase at CLI be totally free, how's that?

I'll take the new Plasma cannon right over there and your best Battle Armor w/heat sink and helmut connection

You know, CLI has more than enough cloaking devices...

*Wonders if, by diverting buisiness to CLI, Red would still take him up on his offer. Affy decides not to risk it*

But you're here now, why waste time on the long trip down to The Crater. You'd probably spend more at my company anyway.

So, Red, do we have a deal? Could you do that for me? Please? I promise not to rat on BED or Chrome about this place.

*Hopes that no fellow super heroes (with the possible exception of GL) hears this conversation*

Whats the url?

http://www.h2g2.com/A258167 I think. But don't go there now. You see, I know that you intend to use it for ill intent, so I can't sell you any cloaking devices. Red for instance never tells me why he buys my stuff, so I can sell them to him all the time. Anyway, buy the stuff from Red. He's almost definitely cheaper.

I can't wait forever for that answer Red. Are you in or are you out?