h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Our poor garden is sorely challenged to overcome the fragrance of city life, but it does come close when the rather smelly Frits shoulder their way through the chilly Spring soil. Later on, the lilacs (much nicer smelling than Fritilaria) join the fray; and, when they begin to falter, the viburnum comes to the rescue.

We did away with our grass in favour of a sunken garden (almost a pit), which gives us a bit of privacy.

JTG

We have lots of little bits of grass around the drive, and divided by walls,which is great but the only one large enough for a game of cricket has a horrid prickly bush in the middle of it
(have we been here before - I'm having deja vu, or I would be if I believed in it)

Oh, no!... Pits and prickly bushes again. Let's try a different path.

JTG

We don't use our garden path.
The gate on one end of it has fallen off, and the door at the other is stuck. Also there is a trellis over it and the rose bush has got completely out of control. We just have to cut accross the grass

Shame about the path. I always think that you miss something by not following a nice path... like cutting to the last chorus of a good song. But, on the other hand, that's what grass is for. I like to kid people who are turf fanatics that grass is just a place to stand while one admires the flowers.

JTG

Grass is for falling asleep on in the sun whilst listening to radio 1 and supposedly revising for exams.

And I always fancied a winding little crazy paving fairy tale style garden path.

You're right! That is a good use for grass. There's not much that compares to falling asleep on a summer's day in a grassy meadow... or the lawn, if there's no meadow handy.

Paths and plants, working well together, are one of the best ways to teach human beings how to behave themselves and stop wasting their lives.

JTG

In fact the only thing possibly better than grass in summer, is a comfy hamock hung at just the right hight so you can still rock it with your leg over the side whilst reading a great book

And a barbecue

Oh, how cruel you are to remind me of the joys of summer!... after a 90 minute drive home in a blizzard. If they ever decided to make a 'Top Gun' type film about hamock pilots, I think I could make a good case for being hired as a technical advisor (not quite having the necessary good looks to be cast in the lead).

JTG

I could make a case for being the girls best friend (although that would probably land me on the grass and not in the hamock), not being blonde or twig-like enough for the lead

Mass hammock appreciation will have to be raised a few notches, I think, before either of us need worry about auditions. I doubt that the world is quite ready for a feature film about hammocks... except perhaps in Czech with English subtitles that are not quite synchronized, in some out of the way cinema, where the entire audience dresses in black and wears berets.

JTG

I don't think they need to be all in black. They'd need some purple somewhere.
And of course we'd need Ralph Fiennes and some other artsy European actors directed by Polanski

Polanski slow motion swaying with lots of Bergman-esque monster closeups and pregnant pauses would get the black and purples excited... and cause them to rupture from the strain of not letting it show.

JTG

And some gentle slightly eerie music, Danny Elfman meets Michael Nyman. Lots of soft light, and focus on the netting of the hamock in a metaphorical way.

Oh, yes... lots of perplexing metaphors that nobody will understand (because they're actually meaningless ), but everyone will pretend to understand because they have such a huge investment in being knowledgeable.

JTG

Don't you just love that about arty-film conisseurs
Everything has to have a deeper meaning.
The hamock will represent the womb, and the hero and heroine will be desperately clinging to the idyll of their childhood

What sinister connotations should we give the black dog that can be seen inexplicably trotting back and forth, every so often, in the background? Or, for that matter, the tortoise with the golden key resting on its shell that can only just be seen making its way through the grass in the hammocks shadow?

JTG

The black dog is the grinch that stole childhood, ostentatiously the symbol of all that is wrong in the world, but really not that terrible, showing that growing up isn't ghastly (and we have to use worlds like ghastly and gosh in the subtitles).
As for the tortoise, well that is the symbol that there is a key to having a good life - you've just got to hibernate for a few months each year, read this as taking a break, going to Goa to find yourself, whatever.....

Brava! You must be wearing your beret.

I've just been reading about Dr Hugh Richardson, famous resident of St Andrews, passing away. I ought to post an obituary for him.

JTG

I have been wearing my beret Thank you
But it is pink, not purple or black, hence my optimistic outlook on the themes of the movie.

Who is Dr Hugh Richardson btw?
my lack of knowledge of where I live is shameful