h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

That description rings a bell, actually. I think Ginger and Doug mentioned him some time ago; and there does seem to be a consensus that he is thoroughly obnoxious. We have our versions here, both on US network television and the home grown variety. It's depressing to think that the people who don't find TV hosts like him irritating outnumber those of us who do or, worse, that their opinions are considered more important by TV execs.

JTG

The thing is he does actually get some quite good people on the show, and also it is prime time TV dinner watching, when the Simpsons isn't on

But doesn't it make you wonder about the actual selection process? I mean, how do these people get jobs as TV program hosts? Canadian television is full of so-called 'personalities', whose only virtue seems to be that they have already been on TV... but how did they get there in the first place, I always wonder. There's a fellow named Terry David Mulligan, who has been around forever. He doesn't have a particularly engaging personality, and he's not good looking (not that I'm much of an authority); he's just always been there... and he continues to pop up all over the place.

JTG

How do people get to be famous for being famous? I mean like Liz Hurley and that frankly non-dress. They don't do anything - except generally annoy people - and then they complain when people pour beer over them (or the newspapers tear them to shreds for not doing anything productive except existing)

rant over - I'm just jealous really, I know I'm not good looking enough or (hopefully) bizarre enough to get famous for just being.

Exactly. Don't you often get the feeling that a lot of things have been decided while you were asleep? When did they decide to start calling Peking 'Beijing', for example? And who are all these famous people anyway?

JTG

I don't know - I think I was doodling at the time
I do know that there suddenly appear to be a lot more supermodels 'a-list' celebs etc etc who seem to be completely pointless.
And when did Peking become Beijing or Zaire become Congo?

I wish people would just make up their minds about things. I thought Zaire was still Zaire. There's always room for more super models though... it's not as if they take up a lot of it. The problem is keeping up with the increased demand for silver bells and cockle shells

JTG

But they do take up a lot of paper in photos.
sorry but I do not want to see sticks partying for their livelihood all over the papers and magazines, that's not real life.

But if they were taken away from print media and put in gardens, where they belong, it would be real life; and a happy co-existence with the trees would be had by all... I'm kidding, of course; who could ever hope to keep pretty maids all in a row?... and why would they want to anyway?

JTG

Put them all in a row inside the new Tate Modern Gallery so anyone who wants can go look at them in a treeless concrete environment
Alternatively feed them shrinking solution from Harry Potter and set them up as Garden gnomes

They'd look nice at the Tate, as long as a touring exhibit could be aranged once in a while; but I'd be afraid of stepping on miniature super models if I had them in the garden, and the cat would always be running off with them. If they could be taught to dance in a chorus line, they would be a nice addition to the mantel piece.

JTG

but if the were garden gnomes, and they got in the way you could swing them round your head an hurl them out the garden.
Maybe we could sell them to a touring circus, they could be the new liliputians.

As long as we don't get a lot of bickering about which way to eat a boiled egg. Super models can get awfully screechy, and I can't abide that. The trouble with flinging things is that some thought always has to be given about where things will land. We wouldn't want to upset the neighbours. They would look nice lounging about in terrariums... tiny super models, I mean... not the neighbours... not mine, anyway.

JTG

no I can't imagine the neighbours would......
But the supermodels, well it would make it easier to keep an eye on them - check they don't have too many champagne baths etc.
But don't let them shriek about what eyeshadow is better

No, they would definitely have to be put in sound-proof terrariums. I like those big tinted glass things that are usually used in wine making. You have to carefully pour in some sort of drainage medium and a planting medium, and the ca-re-fu-lly plant things like tiny ferns and orchids. It's really a shame that only reclusive obscenely rich and the eccentrically evil have access to miniature super models; I'm quite beginning to enjoy the idea.

JTG

I think they could be the next novelty christmas present
But don't waste the wine-making things, could we not just double glaze the tank?

'Course we can... we can keep adding glass until there is just a tiny space left inside an otherwise solid block. But that wouldn't be very nice, and I think the RSPCA would take rather a dim view of it. I should point out, for the benefit of the many super models who make a surreptitious routine of reading my forum postings, that Swiv and I are only having a little joke, and we don't really think of super models as garden ornaments, pets, desktop curios. Honestly.

JTG

Really and truly

And shouldn't it be the RSPSM? Surely if the girlies are thin enough to fit inside a gucci dress they could fit into a multi-glazed tank

Some of them could fit behind wallpaper.

JTG

Or in cuckoo clocks - like the kiddies in 'Sound of Music'