h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

No No Wait
I've got it.
This is a trick question, isn't?
A paycheck is a means where by I pay you a certain amount a month for the honour of serving on this great and noble ship of yours.

Correct, well done. Welcome aboard.

Wasn't there supposed to be three riddles?
No. it's alright.
We'll forgo the third.
Thanks captain. I'll just get my charts and maps.

The third riddle was going to be...what is the wind speed of a cooconut laden swallow?

Oh well

<<<Figure staggers on board clutching maps, charts and navigation equipment. Feace peers from between the clutter.???

What? Sorry didnt hear. Opps sorry, just pick up that map would you please, cheers, oh and that one. Opps sorry and that sextant. Arms a bit laden. Still heres my certificate in navigation, as you see, 99 pints out of a 100. Full marks in all exams.

<>

Oh well never mind, we'll find some where to store them. Now then, what's this object. A steering wheel. Oh right and what does that do? Steer the ship? By jove what a good idea and a marvellous invention. Amazing what they can invent these days, isn't it? Now then, where is my cabin?

Over there. *Points*

Great super. Oh I say this is very grand. An large picture window, view of the sea. A giant bed and desks and tables and what are these things? A compass and a set square? So that's what they look like. Well I think I shall be very happy here. When's dinner?

We have brecfast at 7,9,10 and 12,lunches are served at 2,3,and 5,supper is available at 6,7,8,and 9,10,12,this is without the snacks in between of course.

Don't forget the all day Brunch in the mess hall.

Right well let's feed the inner man. When do we cast of and we are we going?

Well we are attempting to sail around the world in eighty dddaaayyyss...oh wait the was a movie I saw once.

How about 70, just to annoy that woman who did it in 71 recently? What was her name... hang on... BOSUN!!!

*a strange looking woman walks up the gangplank*

[woman]Yes I'm Bosun.

Come to my cabin bosun and let us check the charts.

Ellen MacArthur, I always forget that name... *follows*

Who?

The woman who sailed around the world in 71 days. I want to annoy her by doing it in 70.

Heyt, rioght, no problem. No let's see what does this thing do? A rudder? Oh yes, that sounds interesting and what does that do? Steer the ship? But I thought that wheel there did that.
Oh Right.They both do.
Well then lets see these charts.
Now this wriggly line represzents the coast line....Or is it this one? >No wait a minute I'm wrong it's this one. They are confusing things aren't they? Now then. Have we pulled up the sticky thing that stops the ship from the moving, the anchor, yes that's it.

You said you were trained?

Trained? Of course I'm trained.Now then, Captain.
>

There we are. We can follow some of her route, but because there are more of us, and we have a bigger more powerful ship we can do it even quicker than her.
Mind you we might be disallowed as she did it single handed