A Conversation for h2g2 Hospital
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U218534 Started conversation May 31, 2004
Patients are seen in order of arrival, and then categorised by clinical priority based on the diagnosis here.
Joe C 
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enviableNannyPat Posted Jul 22, 2004
How would you rate a patient who presents with a psychiatric crisis in A & E?
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U218534 Posted Jul 23, 2004
Hmm... interesting one... well, come through to a cubicle and we'll have a look 
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U218534 Posted Jul 24, 2004
Well, what's your psychiatric crisis? You don't think you're a fish
, do you?
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U168592 Posted Jul 25, 2004
*strides in* Have to pull you up there Dr. Joe. We need to assess medically first before we even touch this patients clear case of psychosis. 
*sticks icy-pole stick in throat*
Ow.
*coughs*
Anyway, when you've ensured the patient is medically fit, bleep DPM and tell them they have a patient to see in A&E. Then boil a kettle , make some sandwiches and organise a holiday, as it could be quite some time...
Hoopy Frood 
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U218534 Posted Jul 25, 2004
Ooh, ta. Never treated a psych patient before.
That said, my medical experience stops at a.) a First Aid course, b.) frequently watching Casualty, and c.) being Medic-in-Residence at the Assassins' Guild 
. Good to have someone who knows what they're talking about around 
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Dr Anthea - ah who needs to learn things... just google it! Posted Jul 25, 2004
oooh... people.... 
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U168592 Posted Jul 26, 2004
*shines his pen-torch about*
Did I ever tell yo the time I got mistaken for a vaccuum cleaner? *waves at the modern matron*
Ma'am.
*goosesteps off to check to make sure none of the green goblins are having their wicked way with the med students in the sluice*
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Cal - interim high priest of the Church of the Holy Tail Posted Feb 24, 2005
*walks in*
right I have quite a few marchers here who will need treament for foot blisters
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U168592 Posted Feb 24, 2005
I'm sorry, I'm busy tickling this funny bone...ribs are out of my scope...
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WanderingAlbatross - Wing-tipping down the rollers of life's ocean. Posted Feb 24, 2005
MORNIN ALL....any Sea Bird Vets in yet...I've got a nasty blister on this ere web....
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Cal - interim high priest of the Church of the Holy Tail Posted Feb 24, 2005
ummm I think we should get Jack looked at too, while we're here
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U218534 Posted Feb 24, 2005
Oh dear!
*wakes up and rushes around looking busy 
*
Right, 
anyone? Who's first?
Joe C
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Cal - interim high priest of the Church of the Holy Tail Posted Feb 24, 2005
erm supose thats me then
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Bold Ferret - God of Three Sided Squares, Helium Filled Lemmings and A Slightly Bent Teaspoon Posted Feb 24, 2005
*marches in*
Mornin' Cal, you the only one here?
*gets a chewy 
-a-like from the 
machine*
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Cal - interim high priest of the Church of the Holy Tail Posted Feb 24, 2005
looks that way
we're getting our blisters looked at
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WanderingAlbatross - Wing-tipping down the rollers of life's ocean. Posted Feb 24, 2005
Mutter, mutter...no booze, no soup...what sort of bar is this..thinks...should have turned left at the lights......
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Cal - interim high priest of the Church of the Holy Tail Posted Feb 24, 2005
theres a vending machine over there in the corner
Key: Complain about this post
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- 1: U218534 (May 31, 2004)
- 2: enviableNannyPat (Jul 22, 2004)
- 3: U218534 (Jul 23, 2004)
- 4: enviableNannyPat (Jul 23, 2004)
- 5: U218534 (Jul 24, 2004)
- 6: U168592 (Jul 25, 2004)
- 7: U218534 (Jul 25, 2004)
- 8: Dr Anthea - ah who needs to learn things... just google it! (Jul 25, 2004)
- 9: U168592 (Jul 26, 2004)
- 10: Cal - interim high priest of the Church of the Holy Tail (Feb 24, 2005)
- 11: Reefgirl (Brunel Baby) (Feb 24, 2005)
- 12: U168592 (Feb 24, 2005)
- 13: WanderingAlbatross - Wing-tipping down the rollers of life's ocean. (Feb 24, 2005)
- 14: Cal - interim high priest of the Church of the Holy Tail (Feb 24, 2005)
- 15: U218534 (Feb 24, 2005)
- 16: Cal - interim high priest of the Church of the Holy Tail (Feb 24, 2005)
- 17: Bold Ferret - God of Three Sided Squares, Helium Filled Lemmings and A Slightly Bent Teaspoon (Feb 24, 2005)
- 18: Cal - interim high priest of the Church of the Holy Tail (Feb 24, 2005)
- 19: WanderingAlbatross - Wing-tipping down the rollers of life's ocean. (Feb 24, 2005)
- 20: Cal - interim high priest of the Church of the Holy Tail (Feb 24, 2005)
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