h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*carelessly dangling upside down from her moonbounce-esque raft*
Garius, why don'tcha sheath that machete of yours and we can just float over the vine patch?
Or, if you'd rather, l could take a party for recognaissance...l can see that village from up here, l think. lt's pretty dense going, but we could make it all the way, l think. Drift in from above, unnoticed, surprisng them, sort out their general cultural practices, and figure out how best to approach them.

*Morphs into Krylma Leader, jumps all the way up to the raft, morphs back to Affy before his stilletto sharp claws rip the raft to shreds, pulls out some binoculars, and looks at the village*

Well, they're definitely worshiping some kind of primitive man-wolf. And...oh. They don't look quite human. They look like . . . they look strange. The coloration is right, they have the right number of fingers, they walk on two legs, but...well, they look more stunted than a human should.

*Turns off the hyper binoculars and stores them in his back pack*

Let's just be careful.

*the leaping Affy/Krymla startles Odradek badly, causing her to topple from her precarious perch and crash unceremoniously to the forest floor*

Ow.

Sorry!

*calls up, a trifle woozily, from the underbrush*
Quite all right...

Good to hear it.

*amused by sight of falling Odra* heh heh heh
How you going to get the horse up there?
Drift unnoticed, heh, first turn down the music!

Ricky-tick. Will they like me, do you think? Nice collar.

*stands and brushes self off, glaring slightly at Styx; yanks off headphones, as the batteries are running low anyhow*

You wouldn't think l'd be so stupid as to not have a plan for Ferrari, as well, do you? Please.
*takes small remote-control unit from pocket; presses a button. A softly padded belly-sling descends, resting on the ground, ready to lift Ferrari into the craft whenever he is ready. As he is grazing, Odradek herself hops onto it, and presses another button, lifting herself comfortably back up to the raft, from whence she shoots Styx a triumphant, concieted look*

Now,the only question is, how do -you- get into the raft, Styx?

How did you survive that, Odra?
That must have been around 25-30 metres. Unless my eyes are deceiving me and it's a much lower canopy than most forests.
*decides to stay on the ground for awhile*

lt's all in the way you fall, Redbeard. l'm clumsy enough that l've had plenty of practice...plus those impossibly-thick vines that Garius has been trying to hack through are terribly cushioning. Broke my fall quite nicely...although l'm not sure what kind of sap they must be secreting, as l seem to be breaking out into a slight rash...

Besides, according to Lil, no-one ever dies on h2g2...

You don't hack no undergrowth for me, stud lady. I go under everything. Stay with the smells, learn more. But that was a good trick.

*takes out notebook that serves as a journal and sketch pad, and begins to doodle... after a moment...*
Hmmm... this might be useful at some point.


If you put this on your home page in GuideML
Safari Thread
you'll always be able to jump directly to the last page from your home.

I kind of like that air-raft thingy Ora's got, but if GL needs help hacking a path, I've got this machete here ~unsheathes blade~

*Pauses in his slashing, wipes sweat from forehead and idly looks up. Notices raft. Notices Odra and Affy waving from raft. Thumps forehead.*

Man, you guys are something else. Why did you let me keep going here?

*pushes left eye on wolf's head cane handle. The blade flicks back into the cane, out of sight. Unscrews wolf's head, takes a drink from the cane and replaces wolf's head.*

Hey, Odra, wanna lower that lift thingy for me?

*Contemplates being a God. Grins at the idea *

*grins at GL, presses the remote button, and drops the lift for him. Mock-wipes a trickle of nonexistent sweat from her brow, careful not to jostle her eyebrow ring*
Heh. There y'are, Garius. Just sit in it as though it were a hammock, and it'll automatically rise once you're settled in. But make sure that cane of yours is well-sheathed, because l don't want it popping the raft. This high up, we certainly can't afford a puncture.
*pauses, thinking a moment*
This lift could come quite in handy if you really do want to pose as a God, you know, GL. l can alter the skin color of it, camoflaging it against the treetops or sky, and making it well-nigh invisible. You could descend as from on high into your peoples' midst. lt's the stuff of legend, l tell you...

GL, don't claim to be a God. Claim to be a god. We don't want to be caught in a fix where we have to prove our 'abilities'. Granted, we've got enough fancy high-tech and magic equipment to convince most people, but, seeing as we know nothing of these people's religion, we should be extra careful. If anyone's ever seen that...that recent movie about the lost city of gold. What was it? The Road To El Dorado, or something. If you've seen that cartoon, you know what I'm talking about.

*leans against side of raft, singing quietly to herself*
"Bored of the life in the city of gold / he'd left and let nobody know..."

*rummages in pack for her headphones again*

*A lull decends upon the forest as if a storm is growing. In the quiet a soft ta-thump, da-thump, do-dhump, ta-thump, da-thump, do-dhump can be heard, seemingly coming from the jungle itself. The sound grows nearer and nearer; Affi and Ordradeck, high in their raft, are unable to pinpoint the origin. As the sound gets louder the forest floor begins to shake, reverberating. A centralized earthquake? Perhaps. At twenty yards from the group the sounds stop; a large clatter is heard, not entirely unlike that of a cat being hit upside the head with a plethora of cheap aluminum plated pans. Just ahead there is a stirring in the bush, through which emerges Sporky, compleate with pith helmet, soothing neutrals, and bright orange socks.

Who cut these vines? Come on, fess up! I know one of you must have done it.

*taps foot

Come off of it! Someone had better fess up to this. While under normal circumstances I would happily join you in whatever you're doing *there'll be a party later, right?* I must tell you that I cannot allow leniency! I am officially addressing you as a member of the NAGAC, the Native Association of Galactic Groups for the Association of Conservation, and I am sad to inform you that you have broken several of the native laws and I am afraid that there is quite a price to pay.

So, now... anyone want to say anything? It starts with I'm and ends with Sorry.

Ooooooo, um, well ...

*Wrenches eyes away from orange socks*

Excuse me, yes, you were saying something about ... Oh yes, breaking conservation laws. Well, we're terribly sorry. Didn't know there were any here. In fact, we don't even know where "here" is - it's just some place at the other end of a space/time portal, which I assume you traversed to get here. Oh wait ... I get it now ... you didn't come specifically to enforce the conservation laws, but felt the need to once you saw the damage. No problem. We humbly apologise and invite you to join our safari. We were just about to head over to that native village over there and "drop in" on them.

*Climbs into elevator thingy and ascends to the raft. Sends it back down for the rest of the group.*