h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*notices that neither Witty nor Sol have volunteered yet*

I'll come too, Styx...



*Gandalf shows up and stops conveniently close to a fallen log, waiting patiently while Ti mounts*

*two rat ant soldiers appearing with Styx in tunnel*

*red eyes glow*
rat ants exploring twisty maze
all dead ends except this and way to scullery
stupid monsters!

scullery leading to barracks

heh heh heh
styx moving faster than elf lady

*looks around*

Where did everyone go?

Styx? Caer?

Gandalf, can you find Caer's horse?

*Has been having a little difficulty climbing onto Coronet sidesadle. Now appears atop the horse looking a tad disshevled, and pink, but now secure*

I think they went thataway, Ti! I'm sure the horses can guide us.

*Coronet certainly sets off briskly enough, and very soon brings Sol up to the entrance of the tunnel.*

I thought I was still here at the yurt. It seems I'm actually at the tunnel entrance .

*Ties Tommy to branch and follows the rat-ants into the tunnel, switching on the torch attached to the carameliser*

I will continue to stay here at camp.


Am I alone?

Interrogation would be good. Kindness may work.

*Affy stumbles into the camp, sword drawn, breathing heavily*

Witty! Oh, there's someone! You won't believe what happened! I ran into an ! Now, those things aren't native to h2g2, they specifically come from the jungles surrounding the Pyramid of Moderation that GL and I and a few others tried to break into during the BBC's takeover....man, I was wrestling that thing for quite a while! I thought that it'd kill me, and I kept calling out for help, but I guess I was too far from the campsite! After a few initial close calls, I managed to climb a tree and jump onto its back so that I could start strangling it. The monster noticed, but was not effected drastically enough to give me an easy win. He started rolling on the ground in an attempt to crush me, but didn't notice when we rolled onto the hornet's nest. Now, these were unusually large hornets, and very irritated, so they chased both myself and the to the nearest pond of water, where the two of us dove below in an effort to survive. The hornets, unfortunately, were surprisingly pacient in their fury, and could wait longer than either of us could hold our breath! We would've naturally been stung to death had the pond not been partially frozen over due to the cold weather lately! Shiverring and short of breath, the two of us swam through the murky depths to the ice-topped section of the pond, and were able to find enough air pockets to last us a while. But then we eventually reached a point where all of the air had been used except for the air in one last air pocket in the ice above us. The monster and I grappled for a decent position, trying to be the one to gain the hold on the vital air supply, but we were too evenly matched for either of us to gain a substantial lead over the other! By now, my lungs were aching for air, but our epic struggle was fortunately violent enough to break the ice above our heads, thus allowing us to both climb out of the pond to dry land, gasping for air, on the shore! We'd forgotten about hornets, though, and were quickly rushing through the forrest again. The hornets eventually left us both alone when we became entangled in the web of the giant spider, Thrinshtoloth, who was eagerly waiting to paralyze us, entrap us forever in the gooey strands of web, and gradually ingest us whenever the need for food came. We were saved from this grizzly fate at the last moment, though, when the spider attempted to lift the , and found that while the webbing was strong enough to sustain the weight of her prey, her eight arms were not. The spider collapsed, and her sharp mandibles severed the sticky knotting in just the exact manner necessary to free me as well! The monster and I then resumed our battle, though exhausted from our previous efforts we found that neither had the strength or vitality for a traditional battle between swordsman and monster.

Long story short, I won the thumb-war and found my way back here.

So. Where's everybody else?

*Is quite glad to see Caer with her torch as she couldn't find anything even fainly glowing in the handwarmer, and she's been walking into walls for the last few minutes. Glowing rat eyes are all very well, but not much illumination*

Ohmigosh, Affy! You're soaked to the bone! You better dry off or you'll get sick.

*Sets her nano-gun to High-Permanent Press and shoots at Affy as she circles around him. The resulting blast of hot air dries Affy off and re-styles his hair.*

There, that's better.

The others have gone off with Styx to follow Garius into a bunch of twisty little passages, all alike. Styx recommended that a few of us stay behind to guard the camp, which I had already volunteered to do.

Wanna play cards while we wait? I hope you didn't bruise your thumb. Those s are nearly unbeatable.

Yes, my thumb's alright. Normally I wouldn't have stood a chance against one of them, but I think a bit of the spider's paralyzation stuff might've gotten to 'im.

Anyway, sure. I'm up for a game of cards. Especially a game of Mao or Double Fannucci, although most people run screaming when I suggest either of them.

*still at the camp, staying behind when she realized that everyone except Witty ran off in an awful hurry*

I and Gandalf will just check the nearest surrounding while you two play cards, OK?

*the beam of the torch picks up the rat-ants whoare waitng ahead by a bend in the tunnel*

Hi Sol, I'm beginning to have my fill of tunnels and dank places. Let's hope there aren't any zombies around here. Gobolds do tend to avoid them too, so we should be lucky on that on front.

*follows the rat-ants, until whisperings can be heard ahead and rounding the next bend, finds Lil and Garius*

Found you. Is that gobolds up ahead?

/* Zeppo (silently) raises one paw, straightens his tail and stares at the approaching cobold, while d'E adjusts the nozzles on his gun to what he hopes is the "stun" setting. */

*Hears a noise from the side passage that he is just passing. Stops and peers into the gloom of the side passage.*

Is...is s-s-someone there?

I don't know how to play Mao or Double Fannucci, Affy. How about Crazy Eights or Cribbage?

Don't go far, Titania. We don't want to lose track of you.

*Remains quiet, waiting for Lil or GL to do something*

*realises her nanogun is set to GLOCK and therefore can't be used meaningfully, but doesn't want to make noise while resetting it*

*belatedly realises she is wearing two glowing inflatable squids on her stetson*

*whisper*
Styx -- tell the rat-ants to ambush that slave and don't let it make any noise!

*Waits until the Rat-ants have had a chance to surround the Gobold, but still remain undetected. Then, GL steps out of the side tunnel and into the sight of the Gobold. He puts his cane under one arm, then holds out his hands to show that he is unarmed.*

Have no fear, Gobold. We won't harm you if you help us. We are only here to rescue one of our friends.