h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Many uses up too many condoms. And therfore £££s

I was expecting weeks, first.

Well, aren't we underambitious!

Well I wasn't saying I haven't done and had it done unsheathed for years. It's just that the practising with coevering doesn't take that long to perfect.

If you do it in the bathroom, then you can wash the condom out in the sink, thus eliminating the need for more than one and saving £££s.

You Cheapskate!

Hey, I'm a student - what more can I say.

Well, if you wash your own socks, then you can just save moiney that way. Washing them out is just....

Just as long as you aren't advocating this as the new approach to safe sox.

I should have seen that one coming!

All I require anywhere around here is a good straight guy.

No pun intended.

ooh! Puns!

Sorry I only noticed the comedic undertones as I posted.

I think everyone else missed them!

Well, never mind, It was better than most of my jokes!

There's this huge scouser in a bar having a pint when this really weedy bloke sidles
up to him and says 'Do you want a blow-job?'
The scouser immediately looks round, furious, and punches the other guy to the floor,
where he proceeds to kick him, punch him, stamp on him, and just generally beat the
s**t out of him before picking him up and throwing him out of the pub and going back
to his pint at the bar.
The barman has been watching all of this and as the scouser sits down again he
says 'That was a bit harsh, what did he say to you?'
The scouser replies, 'Dunno, something about a job.'

Very Funny!

A man enters the hospital for a circumcision. When he comes to after the procedure, he's perturbed to see several doctors standing around his bed.
I'm afraid there's been a bit of a mix-up," admits the surgeon. "I'm afraid there was an accident, and we were forced to perform a sex-change operation. You now have a vagina instead of a penis."
What!" gasps the patient. "You mean I'll never experience another erection?"
"Oh, you might," the surgeon reassures him. "Just not yours."

Where do you get all these from, I'll have to start thinking now...

Getting back to the original topic... Never try Condom Masturbation if you have a girlfriend. I did, than later that day she tasted it on me, bit me, and accused me of cheating on her with another girl. I had a really hard time convincing her that I wasn't cheating.

Ever heard of showers?

There was little time between my curiosity into the subject and my incident. Only about 30 minutes, and a quick wash off in the sink is not sufficient, as I found out the hard way, to hide all traces of the taste of rubber. Have you ever, as a child, played with rubberbands and than licked your finger?
I never seen a 'heard of showers.' Are 'showers' like seagulls? Wouldn't it be more correct to say a 'flock of showers' then?