h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It occurs to me that the act of buying condoms, when you're single, is one of the biggest displays of ego an adult male can produce.

Is it really a sign of ego in this day and age. Surely it's a sign of sense.

I repeat: if you're single. Maybe I'm just too bitter, twisted and jealous. Sorry.

I repeat doesn't it just make sence. Or don't you do it on a first night.

Probably not as you don't buy them in first.

I whispered over the counter to the clerk, "May I have a box of condoms?"

She said, "Huh? Speak up, I'm hard of hearing"

I said a little louder, "Condoms. Profilatics." I had tried to time my request to get the male clerk, but it was not to be.

"Speak up, Sonny. I'm an old woman."

Blushing, I leaned far forward across the counter. "Rubbers. I want a box of rubbers." By now the counter was fairly crowded and I was embarrassed.

A look of understanding began to spread across her face, but it was shortlived. Her brow creased with concentration and she scanned the shelves behind the counter. "GEORGE," she hollered over the heads of the people in the line to another clerk out on isle 9. "GEORGE! WHERE DID YOU PUT THE RUBBERS? THIS YOUNG MAN--pointing to me--NEEDS A BOX OF RUBBERS."