h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Looks for Lil but can't see her*
I expect she's gone to the projection room to see what films there are.
*absent mindedly eats popcorn out of vaccuum cleaner bag*
condom flavour?

*finds the film listing and brings it into the cinema*

Vestie...here you are.

I have found the listing...do you think you can help me??

Of course I can. What do you want me to do? Paint the posters? Put them into alphabetical order? Give them a Hootoo star rating? Just say, sis, and it'll be done.

A Rating!!

Yes! *throws her arms around her brother and kisses him on the cheek* That would be perfect!!

A rating. You may need to be a bit more specific. A rating fo the films?

What have you got?

Well here is the list...you are the expert of films at the moment...so I will leave it in your safe hands shall I....I won't be long I've just remembered something else I must be doing...

*Opens list*
Hmmm. They aren't in any particular order...
Lemme see.
Pinnocchio.
*Reads plot outline.*
Old man wants a young boy.
Can't adopt cos he's too old.
Builds a boy doll to play with.
*ponders*
Hmmm. I don't think we can show that one.

Eyelids very heavy Lil. I've gotta go. See you tomorrow maybe?

Of course...thank you for your company.......Goodnight...Sleep Well


lil x

*walks in to an empty cinema, finds lists as reads*

Old man wants a young boy.
Can't adopt cos he's too old.
Builds a boy doll to play with.

That's disgusting, who are these people?

Hang on a minute there's another one here.
The Godfather

Do you like religious films?
Apparently *reads* Italian Catholic family overcomes initial hardship to gain success in their chosen profession. Family ties are given highest priority.

Sounds like we should make this a family film.

*Sashays in, grabs a , reads the list*

Ohhhh, I like this one. "Short Jewellery thieves go on an amazing adventure to return it"
Called Lord Of The Rings or something............

Barry ... darling...you cannot just keep walking in like this...people will begin to ask questions!

You may be a *van Doobrey* but that name is only known in the states.. you have no influence here!

Darling... please go home... and look after our children... you promised me you would if I went out to work!!

Yes! whose looking after the neice and nephit?
=================
Ah! another animal film here. You must bring the kids to this. Water, puppies... what more could you want.

*Turns page over to reveal Reservoir Dogs*

Madness!!!

*reads more*
DIY... home safety... could be one for the young couple with a new home. Or of course it could be about dentistry and anaesthesia. Anyway it's called "Driller Killer"

Hey forget the film, these two are more entertaining!!!

*Hears a voice behind her and turns quickly...knocking all the DVD's and their covers all over the floor*


Oh! Dear!...now what have I done???

Did you want anything My Lady Admiral? *On her knees trying to pick them up*

No, carry on!!!