h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

elderberry anyone?

*Comes in with a stethoscope and checks group for pulse*

The pulses [i.e. legumes] are growing in the cellar near the newly fertilized section. I can take you down there are show you .

Ewww. I'm not into that sort of thing.

I could let your gardening angel escort you.

Oh, I don't think General Plotting will approve of legumes in the cellar. After all, he whipped them soundly in the Great Refried Bean War of 1939.

He holds a long grudge.

We'll relocate the legumes, then. General Plotting must be respected because he is so respectable.

He's admirable, too. We mustn't forget that. Plus, he can read minds, so we all need to think about things that he would want to find out about.

But can he read out-of-minds?

Fortunately, he hasn't gotten to that level yet.

I'm safe then.

Safety first.

Only when it's yours our someone who you still need alive for a while.

In other words, safety doesn't come first when talking about those who are expendable.

Maybe those who don't realize that are expendable.

If safety doesn't come first, then what does? And where is safety on the list?.....

If it's an aphabetical list, then safety comes after carelessness and before sanity.