h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

To make an all snowpeople rendition of Bravehart, of course.

You know, that might work--until mid-March.

Well you can always go send some convicts to Siberia to do all the labour required to do the movie.

How come that sounds familiar...?

They'll get stuck in mud, because of Global Warming.

Well then we'll have to initiate nuclear winter to cancel it out.

Nuclear winter can be triggered by provoking excessive volcanic eruptions, which fill the atmosphere with particles that reflect sunlight back into space.

We must hire a lot of people to dance on the rims of volcanoes, stomping so hard that the volcanoes erupt.

Well, but then won't all the heat from the lava cancel out the efect of the winter?

Nah, besides we can buy the newly formed property on some of the tropical islands for dirt cheap, and sell it to some suckers at a HUGE mark-up.

Well, but how can you tell they'll be tropical? I mean, volcanic eruptions, wintry weather... sounds like Iceland. And I don't think many people want to leave on Iceland. It's a weird place. It really is. Their national food is rotten shark (really - they fish it, then bury it in the sand until it's nice and rotten), and they're actually proud of Bjork.

Do we really need more places like this? Really?

(leave=live. I do know that - I just wasn't paying attention, sorry.)

Well they'd be in tropical locations, besides, if the person would be dumb enough to buy property without looking at it first would likely not think of that, oh and Greenland is the one with ice, Iceland is the one with grass.

No, Iceland is the one with black volcanic rocks.

Whatever.

Hawaii has black volcanic rocks, too.
The tropics would still be warmer than the rest of the planet, though maybe not as warm as they are now.

*Random salesman visit*

Hows the group going? Would you like some carpets? Who's in charge, so I know who to send the bill to?

I don't think anyone's in charge, right now... or at least, whoever it is, they're not really around.

We already have carpets though. It's just that we keep them under the floorboards, so they don't get dirty.

I vote myself in charge and as the person in charge I pass the responsibility to Terran

The carpets are so pretty, they should be hung on the walls so we can enjoy their lovely weaving and beautiful plumage.

The carpets are Norwegian Blues?

That's right. They're pining for the fjords.