h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Comes up behind GDZ.*

Can you tell what kind of entity it was?

*Runs over and looks in. Turns pale*

I must admit....I did not expect to encounter a mummified person today....

And by mumiffied I mean dry, not bandaged. Sorry for the inconvenience.

I have no idea what it was.

*comes closer to take a look*

Looks humanoid.

*musters up all of her courage and opens the door to the glassed-off section*

*the mummified humanoid is slouched in an office chair with an old-fashioned cord phone at its ear. Lil tiptoes forward as if superstitious about disturbing the body and leans over to look at the desk. The phone can be heard playing Kenny G, interspersed with a tinny voice saying "Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until a Microsoft technician is available to take your call..."*


Here's another one of those cheap 15-inch LCD monitors. The body's hand is on the mouse.

*Examines the remains*

Look! There's something underneath it.

*Carefully reaches underneath and removes an oblong metal object with a pin fixed to the back. Turns it over and rubs the surface.*

It says "h2g2 Lurker". That mean anything to you guys?

Akkkk! Simulpost!


Oh, you found another one Lil?

You're real short so you went to the body under the desk.

Yes, I found some body different. Ar ar ar.

Wow, I've heard of perpetual hold but, this is ridiculous.

You should see the line ahead of the Sage Of Ages's space station at the Clinstar Expanse. They hold your spaceship with a tractor beam until they're good and ready for you. They say that entire civilizations can rise and fall before they reach your number.

/* Sobs */

No, no! Tell me Microsoft is not still in business after all these years! And what of Apple?

<-- sneezes, sending a puff of dust everywhere

*reaches over the body and hits the space bar*

*the screen flickers to life*

What is Speed Zork Zero?

*in a spontaneous gesture of compassion, Lil pushes the disconnect button on the phone body*

*prays this isn't a horror adventure, because if it were, this would be the bit where the mummies reveal they aren't mummies, but rather zombies... *

*looks at the body more closely*

There's something in it's hand....

*peers at the left hand, avoiding touching it*

...it looks like the remnants of a Mars bar wrapper.

*thanks to the orchids, Lil hears what sea is thinking about zombies, gasps, and backs out of the glass office, then turns toward the door at the back*

Let's carry on. I'm all creeped out here.

*tries the door, finds it unlocked, and peers through*
*several beats of silence*

Well. Now I know where we are!

*steps through*

*Hears the thoughts as well*

Oh, come on. Surely you people've fought zombies before.


FACE-Hmmmm....seems that no one ever told him just what happened during that big quest....

We fought zombies in the Crypt when we were looking for you, or was it Affy 4, or 3.....

Any old how they weren't very nice.

Nice or not, Zombies still aren't the worst undead things that can lunge at you. Now, if there was a Lich around here, that'd be scary.

*Whistles cheerfully and follows Lil*