h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*The robot lowers its arm and looks confused*

Robot-Help?

LibraGram-Look, do you want a card or not? If we don't collect genetic data from you people, then we can't tell the Gleet Biofilters to ignore you. You don't *have* to let the robot poke you with his Genetic Code Extractor, but you'll be vaporized as soon as you attempt to go beyond the library if you don't.

[NYC] Don't you worry that the discharge from these constantly-running fields won't harm the books? Or is there some ludicrously complicated work-around you got for that, too? It's a good thing you don't have to justify your budget to committee... man, if Mayhem Inc had to account to its investors... well, that wouldn't be pretty.

*raises an eyebrow*

Er... whatever. Just make it fast, okay?

.... and a bit painful as well. At least the first one that is - aim for the eyeball

*Corrupt glares at Red and pokes his foot with her staff. Hard.*

What was that, Red...?

[NYC] Well, you already GOT me... twice, I think. Ow..

[Yar] Okay, you can take a genetic sample from me.

*hops around a bit*

Hey ! That hurt

*is quite at ease with knowledge repositories taking ludicrous security measures and submits to the genetic probe with nary a blink of an eyelid*

OK probe me too.

Fine... You can take some DNA....

*The robot pokes everyone who is willing. The needle doesn't even penetrate the skin, it just feels a bit like a static shock. In just a few moments, the Card Generator comes to life, and issues a day-pass for every member of the group*

LibraGram-Welcome to the library, Group 48. Please confine your initial research to the computer terminals, as most of our texts have been electronically stored. If you require a text that we have not yet uploaded, primarily new releases and the latest issues of various magazines, then please, don't hesitate to ask. Note also that higher level quries require special permission to open in any case.

[Yar] Thanks. I'm sure I'll be able to get the info with ease.

What info are we looking for, again?

(to libragram)
Hey, now we've all got our passes and stuff, i was wondering if you could show me how to use these terminal things, as i'm trying to find a copy of "Salmon of Doubt" by Douglas Adams? also, do you have much in the way of a music collection?

*goes to a terminal and types in*


"What educational establishment in the USA if Affy studying at"

*The single terminal in the admissions chamber blinks at the information. Over 3 billion references to the name "Affy" pop up, and there's no way of telling if any of them is the correct one. Not to mention the number of "data unavailable" entries that the name might be hiding in*

*types in "Where is evil Affy then and you'd better start getting smarter Mr Computer if you know what is good for you"*

*The search screen comes back, and the number is only 75% of what it was before, many of them still "unknown"*

LibraGram-I suggest heading back upstairs to the regular search systems. We can better help your queries there.

*Corrupt shrugs and types "Prove 150500 = 42" into the computer before she heads back upstairs, hoping it's not up to Crater Labs' standards and that it'll do some damage. Damage is always good. Who cares if it makes their mission harder?* *evilgrin*