h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Falun Gong, an Evil Cult? - A2267462
Author: HNM Chaiwallah. Take Action for Tibet F19585?thread=363119 - U219914


Hopefully, this is as balanced an overview of Falun Gong as is possible, given the claims and counter-claims by the Chinese authorities, and Falun Gong's Master Li Hongzhi. If any Falun Gong followers read this and are offended, they should note that all sayings attributed to Master Li are takien directly from his publications on Falun Dafa websites.

This is the most extraordinary true story I have heard.

You've written it up like a newspaper article, but the headlines at the start don't fit hootoo Writing Guidelines; also many "double" quotes will have to be singled.

"I descended into the most surface of the Three Realms step by step" looks like a word is missing before or after "most"

We could do with a footnote on "fashen". Some of the footnotes are rather long for EG tastes; perhaps incorporate more in the text?

" . . . organisation, Conferences and groups are locally organised" -- use either a fullstop or a lower case c for conferences?

Egaliterianism-->Egalitarianism

I suspect the long quote from Time Magazine maight be problematic for the beeb and copyright; a shorter extract should do, with a link for the rest.

This Entry is well overdue to be added to the Edietd Guide. The mind reels at the weirdness of both action and reaction . . .

Write a companion piece on Falun Gong, we say, and ... bang - an impressive piece within a very short period of time.

I'd agree entirely with Recumbentman's comments about the headings. Normal style for Edited Guide entries is no initial header, but an introductory paragraph, followed by a header.

I know very little about style and EG rules,
but I wanted to say: thanks for this, I've been wanting to find out about this for ages, but was too lazy to do the research.

That looks better now, but they are quite sticky as far as I can tell about not starting with a header. Upsets the synopticity of the jolly old Guide you know.

I would respectfully suggest that the wording can be kept jsut the same, with minor adjustments as for instance:

The target of merciless persecution in China, Falun Gong evades easy definition.

Falun Gong ('Work of the Law Wheel') is also known as Falun Dafa ('Method of the Law Wheel'). Proclaimed as an ancient self-improvement technique, Falun Gong is an eclectic mixture of Taoist and Buddhist principles, with a sprinkling of extraterrestrial influences. [etc etc]

I suggest self-improvement, because cultivation brings up turnips and lettuces for me. Sorry.

Thanks for the suggestions, R'man. As regards self-improvement, that sounds a bit too "naturist" to me, and "cultivation" is the term the Falun Gong choose to use. But I know what you mean about turnips. I'll think about a re-phrase.

How about '"cultivation" meaning self-development' -- or is that getting ponderous?

Definitely ponderous. It'll do as it now is, don't you think?

It's getting better all the time . . .

The italics don't work greatly in "Falun Gong Work of the Law Wheel" etc. Brackets would do it better.

And the double quotes need to be single . . . or you can leave such mindless tinkering to the sub-ed . . .

Duh...so why did you suggest the italics. From now on, any tinkering can be done by the sub-ed. But thanks for the compliment anyway.

Woah, huge footnotes! Is there any of the way you can work some of that info into the entry?

Also, it's better for us subs if the author can do as much of the tinkering as possible - we have enough to do as it is without having to do things the author could have easily done.

Chaiwallah

Another interesting entry.

Would it be possible to split this entry into smaller parts? If so where would you split it? Possibly a main entry on the background of Falun Gong, with linked entries on its founder and his beliefs.

There are tinkerings in phrasing I could suggest, but by the time I get to the end of the entry I've forgotten the points I thought of earlier One that came up once or twice was use of PRC - could you add a footnote the first time it occurs to say what it stands for. After a moment's reflection it did occur to me that it is "People's Republic of China" but the abbreviation is not one I am familiar with.

There are also typos that could be easily picked up by putting this through a spellcheck (eg essentialy > essentially, truely > truly)
Perhaps also change renforbearance to ren (forbearance)

Pimms

Definately another excellent entry, I don't have anything to add to the points that other researchers have made, I have to say that I knew PRC abbrevation almost instantly, but then I have done evening classes in Chinese.

Still working on this Chaiwallah?

Hi Pimms,

Not much lately, because we have been inundated with TSG work. If you have any suggestions, please feel free. If you find typos, please give me a paragraph/section/line reference as they're otherwise very hard to track down.

Interestingly, at the recent EU-China Human Rights Dialogue session in Dublin last week, the Chinese were totally unrepentant and utterly intransigent on the matter of Falun Gong. Basically it's business as usual with the Chinese on all fronts.

Cheers,

Chaiwallah

How's this going?

I think the subheaders should be changed to headers, by the way.

Hi Cyzaki,

As far as I know, this isn't going at all. I haven't heard anything from any editorial bods. I rather thought the piece had slipped into oblivion. Which is a pity, because the topic is still very much alive in the real world. Last month saw a grim number of Falun Gong deaths-in-custody in China ( do I remember the figure being as high as fifty?)

Also, when Premier Wen Jiabao came to Dublin in May, about a thousand loyal Chinese students turned out to line the streets at the conference venue. About twenty Chinese Falun Gong were sitting quietly meditating, as they do. They were subject to streams of vile abuse and curses from the rather aggressive loyalists.

Cheers,

Chaiwallah

If I read this thread aright, the piece hasn't been put into the hands of a sub yet, they are waiting for you to tidy it yourself first. If I can be of any assistance, give us a shout.

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've therefore moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!

Thanks, Eds and Sub Eds

I'm glad this piece hasn't died, because I put more work, references and research into it than any other so far. There were suggestions a while back that it might be shortened, or broken up, or whatever, but I think it's important it stays complete as is, so that people can get the whole story at one sitting, as it were.

Cheers,

Chaiwallah \|/