h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well done CW

Pimms

Thanks Pimms.

Does this mean it's now in the guide, or just gone to editing?

C \|/

Well of course it was *already* 'in' the guide (as a normal entry), now it is en route for the Edited Guide.

Gone to editing. Which as you'll know from previous entries could mean a wait from days to months before it appears on the front page. If you want to discuss the subbing with editor I searched on the title and found the EG version will be number A2922644 with Paully U705659 listed as editor.

Pimms

I have to confess that I'm perfectly happy for the piece to take its chances with whatever the editors do. I'm not much enamoured of going back over stuff I wrote so long ago. Thanks for researching the info, though.

Cheers,

C\|/

I don't know why Paully was listed as the editor - perhaps he intended to do it himself, then realised just how long it was liable to take.

Anyway, I'm the Sub who is (slowly) working on this entry, and if you have any comments on how it's progressing (or not), I'd be glad to hear from you.

Wildman

Take courage, matey. I have saturated it with links and references, and apart from "house style" details, I don't see that it needs much editing. I certainly don't want it cut or chopped about, beause it was supposed to be thorough, and as balanced a view of Falun Gong, within its tragic Chinese context, as it is possible to be.

Every day ( as I live a few doors down from the Chinese Embassy in Dublin ) I pass the young Chinese Falun Gong demonstrators, who sit outside their embassy, meditating away, under their banners proclaiming Truth, Forbearance and Compassion, knowing that any hope they have of receiving Truth, Forbearance and Compassion depends on their not returning to their homes and families in China, where they would face instant arrest, imprisonment, certain torture and possible death.

As you can tell, I feel quite strongly that their voice needs to be heard, and people need to understand both the good and bad aspects of Falun Gong. The future of China may well revolve around their cause, and if not their cause, at least their ideals.

So I do not want my article to be watered down for easy consumption. It shouldn't be easy.

Cheers,

C \|/

OK, I've done as much as I think necessary, tidied up some dodgy links (not supposed to link to convo threads, added balancing link about Gabon uranium), and added the usual BBC related links.

What do you think of it - I've tried not to mess with your wording, just bringing it into "house style". If you're satisfied, I'll send it on to join the queue for a place on the front page.

Hi Wildman,


Congratulations and well done in wading through that lot. On re-reading there are only two changes I would like to make if it's OK with you.
1) Third section/sub head: "Basic Beliefs..."
Para. 3, sentence three: "These practitioners can see this Falun turn in their bellies provided THE celestial eye ( not THEIR celestial eye ) in their forehead is not blocked...." Three "their"s in a row is awkward.

2) Last sentence of the entire piece, please add, after a comma instead of the final full-stop, "rarer still in Communist China."

Cheers,

Chaiwallah \|/

Changes made! Unfortunately, I've also had to change another of your links, the Taiping Rising link to your article had to be altered as we're not allowed to link to unedited entries (they could be changed without warning), so I substituted an alternative (which could also be changed without warning, but is allowed - go figure).

Wildman, just had a quick peek at the edited version and spotted this;

'Deng Xiaoping,(whom'

which needs a space. I wasn't proofreading - it just jumped out.

Well spotted!

Feel free to proofread all you want! (I need all the help I can get)

Thanks, Wildman.

Excellent article, and balanced as far as looks possible.

A few quibbles:

Date of Li's emigration: given here as 1966, but http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/1223317.stm says ". . . in 1998, Mr Li left for the US."

Punctuation:

I find the use of commas before brackets redundant--as in
, (Amnesty . . .
, (largely . . .
, (including . . .
, (specifically . . .
, (whom Mao . . .
--and in most if not all of those cases the matching comma (after the brackets are closed) could also be removed.

For consistency the inverted comma should go after the fullstop after 'opened', just above the header 'Li's Personal Beliefs'.

and I would recommend inserting the word 'has' in the sentence "On another level however, Falun Gong is seen as just the sort of heretical cult whose arising in China *has* traditionally spelled the end of the ruling dynasty."

Fascinating stuff!

Dear R'man,

Thank you so much for the coscientious proofreading. But may I beg that when you suggest a correction, you give me a section, paragraph and line or sentence reference to find the passage.

Ta,

C \|/

It was really meant for Wildman who I surmise has a way of searching through the text. As ideed you do too if you copy it into a word or notepad doc