h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*This is definitely an odd sort of spaceship. The boxy, chunky exterior is explained a bit by the cabin-like interior. Rai is sitting on a big cushy armchair near a huge window, which shows the panorama of space ahead. Couches, tables, plants, candles, and wind chimes are among the things you don't usually find in a spaceship, but are here anyway, arranged in a delicate and purposeful manner.*

*Mounted near the front is a free-swinging holder for Rai's Luo Pan, where it sits at the moment, spinning slowly. Rai is fiddling with the controls more directly related to the direction of the spaceship, which seem to be located on a sort of touch-screen thing in front of him.*

*NYC dings a chime. Then dings another one.*

[Yar grins , watching NYC, then turns to Rai]

[Yar] Actually, I have no idea /what/ that "danger" is. I sensed a definite danger, but I can't for the life of me figure out what it was.

*Rai types something on the screen, then turns to the others*

[Rai] Well, this place is pretty tricky to get out of, so I'm not sure how well we'll be following everyone else. But I'm sure I can get us there eventually... it's a clear enough path if you know how to read it. And interesting enough to change every few posts or so.

*He taps a few more buttons. The view almost instantly changes to that of Dr. Greklas's Castle, aka A1063324.*

[Yar] [staring] Oh for the love of Efrim Zimbalist, Jr. Didn't we just leave this party?

*A cheerfully sinister face appears on a com-screen*

Harvey-I AM DOCTOR HARVEY, MASTER OF MAD SCIENCE! What brings you to The Castle Of The Sci-Five? In short, is there any reason for not blasting you out of the stars right now? No offense, but we've had a bit of bad luck with visitors lately.

*An alien pokes his head into the viewcreen*

Greklas-Harvey, I told you, "The Sci-Five" isn't going to cut it. It's a stupid name.

*Rai looks at the screen*

[Rai] *aside, to Yar* Ah, I should've expected this... and do you know this person? *to the screen* Hello there. Sorry to be passing through, but passing through is absolutely all we're doing...

*He thinks for a moment, then turns to NYC*

Hey, you! The one with the sour face; what's your name? You have any idea why I ended up here? *looks at Yar* ...or you? *looks back at the screen* ...or even, perhaps, you? See, I'm navigating using feng shui, and while I'm being dragged toward something, I'm not sure what it is. But you must be directly related to it if I ended up here...

Harvey-Well, nothing comes to mind....

Greklas-Wait a second....I don't really know the one with the sour face, but I know that Jedi! He's the one who ruined my Toy Army when we thought that the inspectors were here! Then when the inspectors REALLY came, I had to use my cheaper inventions to impress them with! We only got a three star rating for villainy!

Harvey-Oh, yeah! I remember that! Although we did get a five star mad science rating....but the villainy rating stinks!

Greklas-Blast them to smithereens!

Harvey-Will do! *Pushes a button* Powering up the weaponry.....

*Laser cannons rise from the turrets of Dr. Greklas' castle, and begin blasting at Rai's ship*

*The ship, true to its name, dances around in the sky, avoiding most of the blastings. However, this doesn't create a very comfy ride for those inside. The wind chimes clank less than soothing melodies as the three occupants get tossed around. Most everything else seems to be well secured, however.*

[Rai] ...Almost... powered... up... just a bit... longer!

Harvey-They're powerin' up their forcefields!

Greklas-*Pushing various buttons* THIS will rectify that problem!

*The Castle's tractor beam reaches out for Rai's Ship while the Castle itself moves closer, hoping to envelop the ship in its force fields. The weaponry continues to fire, and two small robot-controlled fighter ships zip out of the Castle's primary hangar, intent on blasting Rai's ship out of the "sky" as well*

[Yar] D'oh! Speaking of force ...

[He uses the Force to grip two space rocks hanging around the area, and attempts to smash the two ships with them, while getting a third ready to smash the tractor beam while the ships are distracted.]

*The two ships dodge easily, and continue their assault*

[Yar speeds the rocks FASTER than the ships at them from behind, while putting the third rock into the tractor beam's hold, and giving it a nudge towards it.]

*The two spaceships, being the latest defense technology from Dr. Greklas' madhouse, fade into hyperspace without moving at incredible speeds or using excessive energy, thus allowing the space rocks to fly straight through them. The tractor beam realizes that the rock is not its intended target, so it quickly shoots the rock back at Rai's ship*

Greklas-Nice try, but "Force-Proofing" all of my gadgets were just the first step on the way to "Jedi-Proofing" them. I wasn't expecting a test run so soon!

[Yar] Okay ... but did you Jedi-Summoner-Dragoon-Time Mage-Monk-mad scientist-proof them!?

[Dylan] [appearing in a puff of logic] We're just gonna have to call you "Red Mage."

[Yar] OF COURSE!

[There's a puff of smoke, and suddenly he's wearing red robes instead of a Neo-coat, as well as a red wide-rimmed hat with a white feather in it.]

[Dylan] That's it, I'm outta here. [vanishes again]

[Yar] Mwahahahahaaa ... I shall defeat you NOW!

[[Bolt Also]]

[Gratuitious lightning crackles around the two spaceships. How much damage does it do? ]

*The lightning bolts hit their shields, and all of that destructive energy is diverted out through their main ray blasters back at Rai's ship*

*If NYC didn't have a sour enough face before, he-- well, it's not as if you could focus very well on it, it bouncing back and forth about the cabin like a 3D pinball machine*

[Rai] That's not the shields I was charging, it was the engine--

*Finally, with one last shudder, the ship disappears from the Castle's airspace and enters some space over much more familiar ground. Namely, CLI, aka A258167. Rai climbs back up into his chair and turns on the communications equipment again.*

[Rai] Hello down there, whoever you are. M'name's Rai Rinji. I was wondering if you mind us using your airspace for a while? I'm only asking because the mad scientists at the space-borne castle we were at last tried to blast us out of the sky, so it's going to take a little while for the engine to recharge...

*He leans on his hands with a sigh, and seems to be smiling hopefully at the screen.*

[Yar] ... That was inevitable.

Oh, it was, was it? *raises eyebrow, amused*