h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

you better not have....
Or... I will have to send out a search team

just been fed...oops, how many did you send me????

I gave you eight...
not too hard to look after eight i think

no prob', been new to turnip rearing, when is their mating season and how big a litter do they have, do they also have whitewash at an early age

mating season in august, normal litter of six a pair
no whitewash till there fully grown, till then they only get varnish

clear or ronseal dark stuff, one can't be to careful...am that posh me, I put a white hanky over my finger before I pick my nose.

Clear Varnish or it stunts there ability to be whitewashed effectively

just what me mam said to me the day I got on to solids, about 23yr old

I've answered my self, I'm a fool of many talents

Nope! I'm not heremumbble mummble

where are you then?

found me sen' propping up the bar, in the hootoo bar, that is and its my round

quiet in here, whose turned the jukebox off (no, the who's not in here)

6 days, one could start talking to one's self, if I didn't have me for company

*is sleeping next to the turnips after telling them a story*

who is?? hurrah!! visitors

why did they want to be read a book of advanced mathmatics?

*looks around and realises the turnips have spraypainted everywhere*

Oh...

they've been happy little breeders, picaso style and a map

och eye the noo, will the turnips be sprayed tartan for the new year, with a wee sporran on, mine will have a saucer of the supreme liquid