h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

might as well try.

NAME: (Kinda Obvious -so why type it?)
SERIAL NUMBER: U236130
DESIRED RANK: God, but I'll settle with Strike Force Commander
ARMY YOU COMMAND: besides the normal drones, a bunch of sentinels n diggers and some strange robots. and a bunch of hornets.
Special Weapons or Abilities? A1323226

NAME: Bacon...FootBacon
SERIAL NUMBER: 235904
DESIRED RANK: Sergeant majoress of tights and things that go Eurgh!
ARMY YOU COMMAND: The tights wearers anonymous and scorpion kids
Special Weapons or Abilities? able to suffocate enemies with tights mainly and if anyone else wears our tights as a diguise, then we unleash our secret weapon...the weapon of SURPRISE...and fear.

Howdy and welcome!

So who are we attacking at the moment?

or are we all against eachother? (did i talk to you about Turin Brakes?)

yes you did, hello again! (they played in someone's living room cause they won a competition. bah humbug)
I'm not certain at the moment, all I know is attacking people with rotten s. I think it says on "Invasion Updates"

no one knows!

just attack everyone not with us!
go mad and declare war on everyone!

You have to go to every society you know and recruit for our glorious organisation. If they do not join then we attack them.

godben. i worry about you sometimes. you seem to be turning into a dictator

Hey, I’m not the person who said that that’s what we do. I’m just saying what our “fearless” leader said to me.

...Isn't that the idea of being a MASTER OF THE MULTIVERSE?
Muhahahahaha!!!*cough, ahem.

I think that we should do a megalomaniac test to see if these new recruits are eligible to join. We can’t just let anybody join can we.

didn't anybody tell you that the evil laugh is bad for you.
it causes lung cancer. thats why smoking is bad for you it causes you to make the evil laugh. drink is much better for you

Well, as long as they have a passable army at their command.
Although,

"I'd be more afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion, than an army of lions led by a sheep."
-Lord Tennyson

Another new project for you then!

Get a gun, shoot the lion, lamb chops for dinner.

It was more of a timeless comment on the virtues of leadership, but I think you're on to something!

Are we talking about the Narnia chronicles

No. ...but now that you mention it I do see the parallel. It was just a quote I remember. C.S.Lewis died two days ago. ...and 40 years. Nov. 22 1963 was a bad day on the midway. Aldous Huxley (Brave New World) also died.

Squirrels?