h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The summer is nearing its end (or the other way around for those in the southern hemisphere) and the muchly feared Cleaning Bot has outdone itself, leaving the café so clean it almost hurts the eye.

The IIEM (Infinite Improbable Espresso Machine) residing on the now shining surface of the counter, its filters recently changed, will serve you the beverage of your choice (as long as it doesn't contain alcohol). Soup is also an option, although the settings probably could do with a bit of tweaking.

On the counter you'll also see Bumblebee's cookie jar, and the chances of finding something yummie inside are one hundred per cent.

The Deep Purple Sofa overlooks the fire place, where a merry fire crackles when the weather is cold.

Musical entertainment exists in the form of a self-playing pianola and a jukebox with an assortment of classical music and jazz.

And if you look up into the rafters, you might catch a glimpse of Ook, the blue orangutang. He's a devil at any board game, but scrabbles is his speciality.

Come in, grab a mug, have a seat and relax!

*Globs the floor wax off her now-shiny face.*

Well... that teaches me not to sleep on the floor...

Ah! A new thread, a real one!

IIEM, a blue java for me. Those rainy days make me really sleepy.


*takes her , last weeks paper and curls up on the Sofa*

*comes floating in, in her usual vague, elf-like manner*

*wondering why several of the café guests are sitting outside on the front porch with a dazed look on their faces*

IIEM, a vanilla latte please!

Hi Scandrea, hi Hati!

Hi Titania!
Isn't it funny how some people get trapped between threads?

Between threads? Sounds kinda' scary...

*gets up, walks over to the counter, lifts the lid on Bee's cookie jar and peers inside*

Ooo - brownies! Brownie anyone?

Yay! But of course, who could resist brownies?

Mmmm brownies. I was kinda miffed at the last thread since it died on me.

Well, I think the last thread got a pretty impressive last posting - have you checked it?

*hands out plates with brownies*

*puts one plate on the floor*

Hey Tracer, want a brownie?

*looks at Scandrea*

Is it OK if I give him a brownie? Would you like one yourself?

[The various moogles and puchuus awaken]

[Mog] I thought things were seeming a bit ... inert ...

[Puchuu] [face now ugly; deep gruff voice] Oh, I sleep-a too long!

Hey gang - long time no see!

Would you like some brownies?

*looks over the newspaper*

Hey! The crowd is showing up, eh?

[Several moogles and puchuus immediately form a human py-- er, a moogle-and-puchuu pyramid.]

[Mog] She said "showing up," not "showing off!"

Aren't those moogles and puchuus really some show-pieces?

Can I have a Puchuu?

Whats a puchuu?

[Mog whips out a copy of the Guide]

[H2G2] Puchuus are the obligatory "cute fuzzy creature" of the Excel Saga anime series. In appearance, they resemble yellow teddy bears with yellow pom-poms sprouting from the tops of their heads, wearing pink diapers and wielding wands with pretzels at the ends. Their chief defense against other life forms is the fact that the automatic reaction of just about anything is: "They're so cute!" However, when injured, their cute faces are immediately replaced by that of titular anime character Golgo 13, their high-pitched voices becoming deep and gruff with Italian accents (eg "Ow, you make-a me bleed!") Otherwise, their vocabulary begins and ends with "puchuu."

Ok I don't want one now.

*Looks at the brownie and looks at Tracer.*

I don't know... chocolate isn't very good for animals

*Pats a puchuu*

Oh, I didn't know that Scandrea, sorry... would Swedish meatballs be better?

IIEM, a tea with milk, please.

*IIEM makes funny noises and *



I wonder why this always happens with the ...