h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*stretch*
Ah well. Tatty bye.
*aims paper cup at waste bin she is sure is around somewhere and slopes out*

*jingle*

Good mawnin' all. Sorry I've been absent, but RL has a nasty way of interfereing with my virtual coffee habit.

Hmmmm, poetry! Wow. Dissapear for a few days and everyone gets all intellectual and stuff.

Ok. The height of my poetry appriciation:

Mrs. McTwitter the babysitter
I think she's a little bit crazy.
She thinks that sitter is supposed
To sit upon the baby.

-In loving memory of Shel Silverstein.

IIEM, a grande latte, please.

/* jingle */

Hello, all.

Cappuccino, please.

/* finds a place to sit, and rest */

*floating in, in her usual vague, elf-like manner*

Hi all!

IIEM, café mélange, please!

I really appreciate the refrain of a song by The Ark (Swedish band) that goes:
It takes a fool to remain sane

How accurate!

"Anyone sane enough to be a diagnostician is insane"

I need a double MH&H with whipped cream.

Joe, I really appreciated your singing earlier...

Would you take a look at this:
http://www.h2g2.com/A410220

*hoping she hasn't already asked, busy keeping track of everyone*

*comes in*
Sorry for the absence, all, IRL is getting a bit busy.

Someone asked earlier (much, earlier) whether it were possible to like a song with good lyrics and bad music. Ask this of any Bob Dylan fan and you will get a resounding YES. The man couldn't sing, couldn't play guitar, couldn't play harmonical but the WORDS man the WORDS.

And in reference to the rendition someone did of the wonderful hit single "I Like Chinese", I was lucky enough to see "Eric Idle Exploits Monty Python" live this April when the tour kicked off in Phoenix, my home town. He did that song, but with some new lyrics added on the end:

"I Like Chinese
I Like Chinese
We sometimes bomb their embassies
But we don't really mean it
We thought they were trees"

Oh well, more schooling to be done. The IIEM is on for all of you who need it, and I'll be back this evening (eventually )

Good night, all!

*drifting off*

IIEM, green tea please.

*Settles down on the red-velvet-couch with a book of Ogden Nash poetry*

A Caution to Everybody

Consider the auk;
Becoming extinct because he forgot how to fly, and could only walk.
Consider man, who may well become extinct
Because he forgot how to walk and learned how to fly before he thinked.

/* lifts his head from where it has fallen into his cappuccino cup */

Who wants my jellyfish?
I'm not sellyfish!

Jelly cat.

Did I get it wrong? I'm going by memory, and it was about 25 years ago that I last read it.

ahem.

/* strikes a dignified pose */

Belinda lived in a little white house
with a little black kitten and a little grey mouse,
a little yellow dog and a little red wagon
and a realio, trulio, little pet dragon.

Now the name of the little black kitten was "Ink"
and the little grey mouse, she called him "Blink."
The little yellow dog was as sharp as "Mustard"
but the dragon was a coward, and she called him "Custard"

Custard the dragon had big sharp teeth
with spikes on top of him and scales underneath,
mouth like a fireplace, chimney for a nose
and realio, trulio, daggers on his toes.

Belinda was as brave as a barrel full of bears
and Ink and Blink chased lions down the stairs.
Mustard was as fierce as a tiger in a rage,
But Custard kept crying for a nice safe cage.

/* takes a breath */

Belinda tickled him, she tickled him unmerciful.
Ink and Blink, they rudely called him "Percival"
They all sat laughing in the little red wagon
at the realio, trulio, cowardly dragon.

Then suddenly,suddenly, they hear a nasty sound
and Mustard growled as they all turned around.
"Meowch" said Ink, and "Ooo" said Belinda,
for there was a pirate, climbing in the winda.

Pistol in his left hand, pistol in his right,
And in his teeth, a cutlass bright.
One eye was glass, one leg was wood,
it was clear that this pirate meant no good.

Belinda paled and she cried "Help! Help!"
but Mustard fled with a terrified yelp.
Ink trickled down to the bottom of the household,
And little mouse Blink strategically mouse-holed.

/* sips cappuccino */

But up jumped Custard, snorting like an engine,
And clashed his tail, like irons in a dungeon!
With a clatter and clang, and a jangling squirm
he went at the pirate like a robin at a worm!

The pirate gasped when he saw the dragon,
and gulped some grog from his pocket flagon.
He fired too bullets, but they didn't hit,
and Custard gobbled him, every bit.

/* takes a pretzel from the machine near the IIEM */

Belinda kissed him, Mustard licked him.
No one mourned his pirate victim.
Ink and Blink in glee did gyrate
around the dragon that ate the pirate.

Belinda still lives in a little white house
with a little black kitten and a little grey mouse,
a little yellow dog, and little red wagon,
and realio, trulio, little pet dragon.

Belinda's still as brave as a barrel full of bears,
and Ink and Blink chase lions down the stairs.
Mustard is as fierce as a tiger in a rage,
but Custard keeps crying for a nice safe cage!

/* sits */

IIEM, a mint-licorice-ginseng tea please.

Ogden Nash was always my favorite as a kid.

*Sustained applause*

Introspective Reflection
I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance
Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.

Sips tea

/* returns applause */

I've got to go now, but one more short one first.


I think that I shall never see
A billboard as lovely as a tree.
Indeed unless the billboards fall,
I shall not see a tree at all.

/* jingle */

*Applauds, enthusiastically, then makes fresh pretzels*

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