h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

IIEM Coffee with milk ank vanilla syrupy stuff, please

*looks around, sniffs and wonders if that is really a cooking smell and if it is possible to get something to eat*

Oh, that sounds like a nice morning. My morning is more a drab. Rain is pouring down, bank holiday is something I hear others talk about, for there is no such thing here, and I have been doing numbers all day. (I think perhaps I am an accountant of the old kind. I don't really know anything about the financial systems, I'm just moving numbers from a sheet of paper onto the computer screen. Really exciting job.)

Hot buttered Toast... Can I have Hot Buttered Toast IIEM?

*Gets Hot Buttered Toast from IIEM. Eats it. Smiles.*



JAR

*feels a bit foolish as it appears mich easier than originally thought*

IIEM - a sausage sandwich, please, lots of ketchup.

*feels much better as the grease runs and the ketchup goes everywhere, but still can't figure out how to get into the files she is supposed to be updating*

*eating his toast*

*finishes off his MH&H and burps*

Data processor

Not exactly, or I might be having a bit more success.

*wonders idly what kind of cleaning agent gets rid of red sauce*

Stain devils.

*munches another piece of toast and picks up The Guardian*

*looks totally uncomprehending at Joe and Solnushka*

?

*decides it is better to drink coffee than show ones ignorance*

Sulphuric acid would do the job too. You'll just have a hole instead of a spot...

Morning world .

Double espresso, please IIEM.

A little bit late today but I actually had some w*** to do, quite refreshing really .

Personally, I've never understood those adverts for washing powder that always start off "whiter than ever before". Surely this is admitting that they have heniously lied when they told us last time that their washing powder washed whiter than white, or whatever. You can't improve upon that.

Good day everyone.
IIEM, just a cup of green tea please.

Just remember, they always lie. And with digital, they have the capability of sending orders off to you within the advert

Don't even need to hold your attention for the length of the jingle.

LOL Interesting point, Solnushka!

Hiya Bumble, BS!

More coffee please, IIEM.

IIEM, a few more rounds of hot buttered toast and a new MH&H

Luckily, I and the rest of my city no longer have TV so such pitfalls are not a problem. How does this digital thing work then. You touch the screen, or in a frenzy phone the number or what?

IIEM -'nother coffee. Black, please, one sugar.

You press a button on the digital remote and up comes a shopfront for the product that will send you a free sample automatically if you confirm you want it

Guess one could get hold of a lot of excellent products...

Deary me, how terribly convenient.

*Puts v/_\3 on and washes up*

*strolls in and sits beside Ook, working out the crossword*

Umm... I think 9 down is 'modicum'.

*Gratefully accepts coffee. Sits and tries to follow goings on, nodding wisely and thoughtfully.*