h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Minutes seem like days
Since fires ruled the skies
The rich became the beggars
And fools became the wise

Into the woods comes
The young man of fire
He greets you with a quick
"Hello" or "hiya"

Bit of poetric (word?) ingenuity from me. Please applaud me. I hate writing poetry.
I come to the woods around the cafe here to light a fire, whereupon I shall tell the tale of Blood On Ice to those who wish to listen. It is a story about revenge in the time of the Vikings, where the gods themselves took a hand in fate, and stuff. Do ya want a blurb or shall I just tell?

*walks over & sits down to listen*

*strolls by, hears Quorthon begin a tale*

*sits down next to Joanna *

Mini-blurb:
Blood On Ice is a tale of a man's revenge on.....

Hang on, a blurb's gonna ruin the story. Especially the start. Ok, dives straight in...I assure you this is no ordinary tale lifted from a slaytanic metal album. This is STORY!

"The snowcovered plains
Early dawn

As the village greets a new day, the old Crow cries atop the pine. Spiritually bounded with nature and all creatures, great and small, the hunting families sense danger as the cry of the old Crow continues. A rumble, at first barely loud enough to a human ear, grows into a deafening storm of hooves thundering across the frozen tundra. Then bursts into the village, four times five rideras clad in armour black.
Swords drawn glimmered in the awakening sun's light. Cries echos. Throats are slit. Beautiful bodies fall to the frozen ground and limbs of able men are strewn across the snow-covered plains. The blood covers the white snow red. Women and chilren are brought far north. Hiddewn under the foilage of a majestic tree, a ten-year-old boy. When the shadows ahorse can no longer be heard, he crawls out from under his hide-out to seek his loved ones. Not a sound. Not a movement. No sign of life...
And thus begins the saga of Blood On Ice..."

Nice story! Very gorey indeed!

Conan the Barbarian....first story?

Different names .... same plot?

*pouring Six Grapes wine into paper cups for the growing audience*
shhhh... Let him continue ...
*settles down next to Witty and Joanna to watch the fire and hear more*

*grabs a cup of port and joins the circle*

If the real Quorthon based his Blood On Ice saga on Conan, then maybe, Mr mice. However, there are no names to be mentioned! Though I must say that one of Quorthon's influences for his post-Blood Fire Death albums was Conan.

On to part 2:

"The Eternal deep dark woods
Late daytime...

Fifteen years have passed. Livings among the animals. Learning to speak their tongue. Learning to read the signs in bark and snow. Never forgetting the sights that morning in the village all those years ago. Pain from inside. Transforming him..."

"I have paved these forests for so long
I don't know if I am man or I am beast
I though hold deep within me a quest for revenge
Then I must be a man as much as I can be

I have learned to speak the tongue of animal
I have learned to read the signs in bark and snow
I have taken within myself the spirits of my fathers long time gone
In this short time, far from home
A man of iron I've grown
A Man Of Iron I have grown."

"Thus he had grown into a Man Of Iron."

*Quietly steals into the clearing and sits to listen. Notices port and pours a glass.*

*visualizes the tale completely; feels the cold, smells the blood.

Waits deep in the shadows for another chapter*

~Sits down, enthralled~

*tiptoes up to clearing where crowd is huddled around a dark figure, notices port and pours some. Sits back down enthralled.*

What's going on?
*Gets shushed on by the others, "sit down!"
Wraps a big woolen shawl around her shoulders,sits down, extracts a pewter-gobblet from her big purse, fills it with the sweet strong wine, listens.*

*notices fire and storytelling going on in the woods*

*walks over, sees port, pours glass and sits down*

*wanders by and spots the footprints. Follows to clearing and fire and storytelling. Pulls up a log, waves a 'No thank you ' to the port, but pulls out a hipflask of whisky and sips. Sits and waits for the story to continue*

* Stands on the ouskirts of the clearing *

Hey, wa...oh sorry...

* Sneaks closer hear better *

* Whispers to Babel-17 :* What did I miss?

*quickly pens a note to JAR*

basically, a village got slaughtered adn everyone died, except a small boy who vowed revenge. For 15 years he has been living in the forest, learning to fend for himself, talk to animals, understand tracking and honing his hunting skills, i think he may be off to hunt down the slayers soon. Hope this helps. B17.
Oh and there's some port in that bottle.

*passes note over*

*grabs note*
*reads note*


Thanks. The Port any good? Sorry, I'll shut up...
</whisper

*pours port, tastes a bit, changes his face in odd ways, swallows, smiles, drinks a bit more, puts paper cup of port on the ground between his legs and gets back to listening*

*walks quietly into the clearing and sits down waiting for the tale to continue*

*Takes out a bottle of wine and pours a glass and offers around*