h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

And don't forget to put water in that there bucket

*rinses out teapot with boiling water, discards water, adds tea leaves and pours boiling water over leaves*

Mugs over here then, who's having tea? DD, this is no civilised hour for coffee, take tea with us. There are mbougatses. Did I mention that the m is silent? But oh, so tasty.

*has been listening to Chopin IRL, but played by Rubinstein*

*contemplates interviews and accusations with fire marshall, EXTREMLY perturbed Irv, large unruly mob of cafe regulars with pitch forks and torches*

*brandishes zilch*
Can l light it now? Can l can l? How do l secure it to the rafter?

But Lil it's 5:44 Am here in the UK what better time for me to have coffee!

A wire is best as it doesn't contribute any flammables when the zilch burns down (up?).

Rubinstien was the first I heard as a lad and got me hooked.

*casually looks at watch*

DD, are they still making Dr. Who shows there?

*warily eyes exits*

With what Odradek is about to do, you don't need any more stimulants.

*with some effort, reaches under counter and drags forth a very large, bright red cylinder with a dial and nozzle attached* Here, jr, you're worried enough to do it right, if worst comes to worst. I shall be laughing too hard.

*pours tea*
If you want coffee DD, really, in spite of this real tea being here, the IIEM is on autopilot and will gratify your wish.

Sadly jr52 the last Dr. Who was some years ago, and the US/UK collaborative TV movie starring Paul McGann was the last and as it didn't take off in the states no more were commissioned.

*lashes a thin length of flexible wire to the end of the plastic, drags her ottoman to the centre of the room, and jumps. Dangling from the ceiling, she tethers the wire to the rafter, and lets go, crashing gracelessly to the floor*
Ta da!

*moves ottoman out of flame-range, grabs bucket, and dashes over to sink, filling it with water. Lugs bucket back and pushes it into place under the zilch*

Are we ready? Are we?
*grins maniacally, fingers lighter*

DD, was just rembering PBS broadcasts here and when thought of Dr Frank N. Steen 'The Doctor' came to mind.

Lil, much obliged, but, if you please; do not laugh too heartily until the worst is over. Thank you.

Odra, you seem unnaturally quiet over there.

*eyes exits*

*quickly reading instructions on device Lil has tendered*

On your mark...

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